11997 February 05
I was getting ready for the concert. I was in the small park by the edge of the cliff that overlooked the body of water. I walked along the path towards the small white pavilion where we would be playing. I tried to tune my guitar. $A42 was there, getting the equipment together for the show. I felt a little nervous. I was afraid that we would not be ready in time for the show. I walked into the large gazebo and tried to get my instruments ready. It was already dark, and the crowd was gathering outside for the show. I walked along the old cement path and into the building. I was very nervous, and afraid that things would not go well. Nothing seemed to be ready in time.
11997 February 06
I had a large candy in my lap. It was shaped like a large coconut, with a leafy outside. It was shaped like some kind of flower on the outside. I had to unwrap the petals to get to the stuff on the inside. The center could be eaten. The center was some kind of candy. I realized that the outside was a drum. It was a hard shell with skin stretched over one end. I watched as the monkey played with the drum. It beat on it for a second, but then started to unwrap it to get at the sweet fruit inside. The monkey knew about the stuff inside and how to eat it. I thought that we could learn about eating the fruit by watching the monkey eat.
11997 February 08
I walked down the edge of the river. I thought that i should cross the shallow stream that flowed over the rocky surface of the mountain side. I walked up the side of the stream, heading up the mountain, with the stream on my left. I was wearing my running shoes at the time, and tried not to get them wet. I would have to cross the stream on the rocks that were in the middle of it. I started to step across the stream when the ground started to vibrate. I could see the ripples on the surface of the water as the ground vibrated. I could not step on the set of rocks that i had planned to use to cross the stream. I looked up at the control booth, which was just across the water from me. It was coloured a bright yellow, and bordered the side of the stream. The vibration must have started there. I looked down at the gravel shoal under the surface of the water. The vibration had parted the water around it as the rocks rose to the surface. I could not step on it, however, or i would sink into the loose rocks. Then the vibration stopped. I wondered whether it was safe to cross. I looked around on the side of the water and noticed that there was a small yellow control panel just to my right. It must have been under the water, but brought up by the shaking. I started pressing some of the buttons on it. It adjusted the water inside of the damn. I stood on the stairs near the aqueduct where the water flowed down the long cement chute inside of the cement tunnel. I pressed one of the buttons and the stairs started to shift. They split just above me and the lower section started to tilt downward. I quickly climbed up over the rift in the staircase to the upper section, where i would be safe. I was afraid that i might have done something wrong. I realized that the change had turned the water flow into a flume, through which the water flowed as it went down into the tunnel. It was making the slope of the water flow steeper. The flumes tipped down and narrowed. I pulled myself up the side of the flume until i reached the level corridor on top, where it was safe. I was suddenly worried that something was wrong with the change. I looked back down the stairs into the tunnel where the water was flowing. There were only three small holes left at the top of the flume where the water entered. They were only a quarter of a centimetre wide, and had red lights in the center of them. Something was wrong. The change had made the water run faster down the flume. I realized that the damn would not be able to handle the swiftly moving water. The people in the damn started to panic when they realized that something was wrong. I pretended that nothing was wrong, and that i did not know what was going on. I looked to the right to see the man in the control booth panicking. He ran suddenly to his left, disappearing out of my view in the large glass window. I walked down the hall from the top of the flume. There was a room on the left side of the hall. The men had just managed to escape from it, but there was one still trapped in the room. I could see him through the small glass window on the door of the room. He was trying to get out as the room flooded. The water came up over the door. The man was under water, and would drown. He stared out the window, expressionless and motionless. Then he stuck out his tongue suddenly in jest and moved off to the left, out of view of the window. I felt suddenly upset. The mad had died, and it was my fault. I had caused the deaths by correcting the water flow to the damn. I started to feel weak in my stomach.
11997 February 09
I was at the crafts fair in the school. It was being held in a single room, and there were many people around, and quite a few tables scattered around the room. There was a man with a beaded string, that he was tossing into the air. He then threw the rope out and caught one of the women with it. She ducked so that he could not catch her. It was some sort of proposal for marriage. I was not familiar with the custom. I wondered what would happen if i did get married. I read over my mother’s note on the subject. Something seemed inappropriate.
The teenagers were in the car, and they had a gun. Something was very wrong here, and i was worried. Then they started to fire the guns. A fire broke out near one of the buildings, and people started to gather around.
11997 February 13
I was in the small room with $F14. There was a single, large, brass double bed in the center of the room. Its headboard was against the back wall of the bright red room. The decorations of the room made it look like a cheap brothel. I walked along the side wall of the room, were the water tap was. It was a small black spigot near the floor. It was the only place from which to get water. I bent over and tried to fill my glass from the faucet. I was thirsty. The water in the room was dirty, however, and came out a dull brown into the large glass mug. I would not be able to drink it. I thought that i would be moving into this apartment in a little while, and wondered what i would do about fresh drinking water. I walked over to the window of the room and went to dump the water out. Then i noticed the pattern in the snow. It was the symbol of the Illuminatus. I wondered whether there was something going on around here that i was not aware of.
11997 February 14
I was in the high school, sitting on the bleachers watching the wrestling match. I started to wrestle with $F4 in the hall of the school. It felt very strange to be playing around like this. I was not at ease. We had come to the old school to run. I started jogging down the long hall that ran from the main lobby of the school towards the back of the school. The place was dark, and the building looked as though it had been abandoned. The corridors were tall and narrow, with dirty white walls. I left $F4 in the front hall as i jogged down the corridor of the school. I thought that i would make a loop by running to the other side of the building and back. I then noticed that the side corridor to the right was boarded off with plywood. There was a large open area to the right along the left side of the branching corridor. Through the cracks in the plywood, i could see the sunlight shining down through the cracks in the roof. There were pieces of debris and plastic sheeting handing in the air. This place must have been under construction. I was worried about continuing farther into the depths of the building, as it all seemed very dark and dangerous. It seemed that there should be a parking garage off to the back of the building, but i would not be able to run back to it. I could not make a loop, so i ran back to the main lobby. $F4 was still there. I saw myself approaching from the corridor and entering into the main hall. There was a set of stairs just to the left of the corridor as i faced the corridor. A square white cement column stood between the stairs and the slope of the corridor. They were very wide stairs, and led up to the corridor which ran back into the depths of the old school. There were some young teenagers playing on the stairs. The stairs were more like bleachers that were very old and decrepit. They were made of thin wood and were ready to collapse. I was worried that the children might get hurt on them. I started to climb up one side of the stairs. It was the only way to get back into the corridor where i wanted to run. I thought that i could stay on one of the support beams which ran front-to-back. There were so few cross beams left. Then the wood started to fracture. I quickly stepped back from the wood. I could see the cement pit below the stairs. It was four or five metres down. I was worried about the teenagers playing on the stairs. Then the wood collapsed and one of the boys fell into the pit. I looked over the edge to see if he was all right. He seemed fine. He was just bruised from the fall. I wondered how we would get him out of the pit.
I was outside of the small ice cream shop. The road, which ran between the old white wooden buildings, was dry dirt. I walked across the road and up to the white cafe on the left side of the road. I was very thirsty, and needed to get something to drink. I noticed that there was a drinking fountain on the outside of the building. It was a tall, silver, box-shaped fountain. I held the fountain glass over the fountain and filled the glass up with a brown soda. I would not have enough to quench my thirst. I would have to go inside to get some ice cream. Then i noticed the man who was inside the store. I could see him through the large window on the front of the store. I watched him as he walked out of the store past me. He was very nicely built, and i felt very attracted to him. I watched him as he walked across the street and into the building on the other side. Something felt comforting about going into the soda shop, though i had to get some ice cream.
11997 February 18
I watched $F12 run up the hill through the woods. I missed him, and wanted to join him. I was in the large house that my parents owned. I ran up the stairs to the large room in the attic. It was my new room. I realized that it was on a new floor from were it was. It was a very large apartment, with a lot of space. It seemed like a nice apartment, but i was uncomfortable moving into it. All of my things were already there, but they were not unpacked yet. I walked around the large white room of the small wooden house. The kitchen was on the other side of the apartment. I thought that i could easily live here, but it seemed too close to my parents. I would have to start paying rent to them. I did not feel comfortable doing that. I started to miss $F12 again.
11997 February 19
I was back at work again, even though i was off for vacation. I had come in to get some work done while no one was there. I walked into the long narrow room, which was part of our office, and sat down at the machine. Then $A52 showed up. I had not expected her. I told her that i was not at work at the moment and that i had come in to do some fun stuff. I walked into the room where all of the computers were. The room was set up like a computer lab, with a long table in the center that had computers along it. The people would only sit on one side of the table to do their work. I put my things down on the wall side of the table to the left as i walked in. My desk was at the near end of the table. I then spoke to $A52 for a moment. When i turned around, someone had sat in my desk and started using my computer. I was upset that he had taken my space. I could not ask him to move, because he was working on the machine. I roughly picked up my things from the side of the desk and started out into the middle of the computer room. I looked around but realized that there were no free computers on which i could work. I acted frustrated, in hopes that the man at my desk would notice. I did not want to work on another machine. It would be very inconvenient. I walked back around the table and behind the person at my desk. I set my stuff down on the floor. I wanted it to stay there while i waited for the computer. I sat down on the chair just behind the man, hoping that he would move and let me use the machine. I started to do some other work at my desk which did not require the computer. I flipped through some papers and started writing to the right of the man. I thought that i might actually annoy him and get him to leave. I then moved over to the typewriter and started to type some things in. I thought that it was an old way of doing things. Then the man got up. He was wearing a tan sweater with brown twine in it. He said that he would leave and let me use the computer. I tried to discourage from leaving on account of me. I did not want to interrupt his work. I told him that he could use the counter while i did some other work that i had to do. He just said that he would move and started to walk by me. I then noticed the veins on his bicep as he walked by. I thought that he had a very attractive build. I watched him as he passed and then moved over to use my computer.
11997 February 22
I got out of my car on the city street. I was in the middle of a suburban area, where the houses were somewhat old and the trees had grown big and shady. I got out of the passengers side of the car and walked onto the sidewalk. The road seemed to run along the edge of a housing settlement. There were several roads off to the left, but only a few off to the right. The old couple in the car started to drive off. I thanked them for their help. They had to continue on. I then remembered that i had forgotten something in the car. My keys were still in the car. I had left them under the seat. I thought that the lady in the car must have noticed them by now. I tried to call after the car, but it was too far away. I could see the small, beat-up, compact car driving down the shaded road of the suburb. The car had visible rust spots around the rear tire wells, and was shaped like an old GM car from the seventies. I knew that they would stop, however, and started after them. They must know that i needed my keys. Then i noticed that they were turning right down one of the side roads. I thought that they must be turning to drive around the block. I turned around and started to run in the other direction. I was going to cut them off at the other side of the block. I ran down the street. I then came to the bridge, where i would have to make a left turn to cut them off on the other side. The bridge was a large stone bridge. There was a stone wall off the left of the bridge that led down to a lower level of ground. I turned left and headed down the stone stairs on the other side of the bridge that turned back and ran along the stone wall. I paused at the bottom to speak with the man. I talked about the stuff that i had left in the car. The man was Alec Guinnes, and he was wearing a long brown robe.
11997 February 25
I walked towards the boat, following my family. $K3 was walking right in front of me. We got to the edge of the dock and had to hop over the short stretch of water to the boat. I remembered hopping over the water some time before. I hoped over the water and landed on the small gravel shoal just off of the main land. I remembered that i could have taken the other way on the right, which led over some of the rocks that protruded from the water. It would have been a larger jump, however. I continued, jumping over to the dock. I sat down with everybody else on the long wooden benches. I felt somewhat cold. I was only wearing shorts, but i thought that i should not be cold in this weather. I noticed that the others were fine. None of them were cold. I thought that they should have gotten cold before me as they were all from Florida. I grabbed the yellow wool blanket from the side of the boat and wrapped myself up in it. We were sitting in front of a large dinner table with the rich family. It was a fancy table, with all of the proper trimmings. Their son was protesting his parents, however, and started to serve sliced meat. He joked around about it, commenting that there was nothing wrong with sliced meat. I knew that sliced meat was considered food only poor people ate. I needed some meat, but then i noticed that there was already some on my plate. Then i noticed that the son was using his fingers to eat his meat, as if it were part of a sandwich. His father was annoyed with his attitude. I tried to cut my meat on my plate, not wanting to act out of place. Then i noticed that people were constantly changing the tableware. My drinking glass had been removed when i was not looking. The rich family commented that i was very well mannered. I looked around for my drink, but it was missing. Then i rubbed my nose from an itch. A lump of snot fell out of my nose and landed in the glass of the person next to me. I picked up the glass and quickly tried to pick it out, but could not get it out of the milk. It kept submerging, and i could not see it through the liquid. I picked up a spoon from my setting and tried to fish the snot out of the milk. I got it out and placed the glass back on the table. Then i noticed that all of the table settings had been changed again. The people kept cleaning up the table by replacing everything that had been used. I noticed that my new drinking class was really a flower vase. I got up and walked away from the table and back across the campground. There was a fair going on, and there were several booths and kiosks to my left. There were a few to my right as well, but it seemed that i was on the outside edge of the fair. I walked up the slope in front of the food kiosk. The dirt was worn from people walking and it had gotten muddy. Then i noticed the large tractor-trailer backing up in front of me. It was pulling into one of the shops to deliver supplies. I started to walk around it when i realized that i had forgotten my backpack. I would have to go back to get it. I walked into the factory area and pulled my bag from the large metal bin on the right side of the corridor. The bin was made of black metal mesh, and was where the workers would store their stuff. There were people moving around the work area around me. The factory was closing for the day, however, and they were all on their way out. I walked down the cement stairs on the outside of the factory and headed back towards the muddy hill. As i reached the bottom of the stairs, i turned to the left and looked at the large open space under the stairs. I had just walked down from the large cement platform which was the main level of the factory. Under the platform, i could see the cement pillars that held it up. There was a walkway that ran diagonally across the dry dirt under the platform. It looked like the area under a highway overpass in a city. I then realized that the piston was pulled in on the left wall of the area. I thought that it would be dangerous to walk under there, knowing that the piston could come out at any time. I looked over the cobble stone ground under the building. I had always thought that this space was used for parking, but realized that it was actually part of the work space. Then i saw the woman and her child walking through the area. I worried that they might get hit by the piston. Then a long, thin, grey, metal blade slid out of the wall from the left. It passed just in front of them, and the stopped to let it slide by. I looked up towards the ceiling, where i could see the long pivot arm of the blade rotating from a joint in the ceiling. There was a counter balance near the top part of the arm which let the blade swing smoothly. I reached over the edge and tried to grab the counter balance. The red and white metal balance swung loosely from the ceiling. I realized that it was very flimsy, and easily wobbled from its course. I tried to straighten it out again so that it swung evenly. I would have to get it to balance back in the center of its swing. I realized that i should not be playing with it, as i could easily mess it up. Then i noticed the man climb out onto the sickle-shaped arm, which was suspended from a thin wire. He had jumped to it from the edge of the walkway on my left. I realized that i had inspired all of the people to play with it. The people were gathering along the walkway around the edges of the pit. I started to feel guilty that i had inspired them to act so carelessly. Then the police officer arrived. He told the people to stop playing with the arm. He then looked at me, accusing me of breaking the arm.
11997 February 26
I was the Crow. I was dressed in black and walked around behind the house in the middle of the city. There were garbage bags and a large dumpster along the tall chain link fence. The brick building was to my left. It was dark out. I jumped into the air and flipped over the pile of garbage, hovering in the air momentarily. There was a man watching me. I could not let him find out who i was. He was interested in the Crow. I watched myself fall into the large pile of garbage. This was how i hid my identity. I pretended to fall into the garbage, and then switched to my real identity. I rolled out of the lower part of the pile as myself. I walked into the black car and drove off down the alley. I knew that the other car would follow the man who saw me fall into the junk pile. They would think that he was the Crow. They would never suspect that it was me. The green car turned and headed down the alley towards the man. I lay in the pile of garbage with the white paint on my face. I knew that they would not catch me.
11997 February 27
I listened to the old tapes on my walkman. The music was from the seventies. I was sitting at the meeting where the people were gathering in the area. It seemed like i was at $P7. The people were gathering for battalion. I watched as $A40 talked to the crowd. All of the people were forming into companies, and i followed them. I could see $A44 as i started to line up. I wondered who the major was. I was not familiar with the new officer structure. Then i noticed that $A53 was one of the high officers in the battalion. I sat down near the wall in the chair. $A53 was sitting in front of me, and there were several teachers in the room. I listened to my walkman as i sat. Then $A53 turned around and said that he was interested in the song that i was listening to. He asked if he could listen to the song. He removed the headphones from my head and put them on himself. I could still hear the song as he listened to it. It was “Sky High”. I listened to the guitar part as the chorus played. There was a quicker rhythm for the chorus that i recognized. I thought that $A53 should recognize the song once he heard it. I turned back to my desk and continued cutting out sections from the paper. $F13 kept listening to the headphones. I told him i was surprised that the batteries have lasted as long as they had. I said that they were very old, though i knew that they were not. I arranged the pieces of red paper on my desk and looked at them. I asked $F13 if he could identify them. It required pattern matching. I had made cut outs of a car that i had made. He was not able to see the car because the red paper obscured the view. I flipped over the paper so that he could see more of the car. He could guess better that way. He guessed that the car was a Contach, but he said it wrong. I pronounced it for him and told him that he was correct.
11997 February 28
The other man ran away from us. He was going to start shooting at us. $K2 and i stood near the old building across the short lawn from the church. The man ran around the left side of the church. I tried to shoot at him, but he ducked around the corner of the old stone building. I backed up against the church. Trying to stay out of his line of fire. $K2 stood across from me, her back to the wall of the other building. I remembered this scene from before. I tried to sneak around as the man watched from the other side. I looked down the right side of the church. I could see the man hiding at the edge of the building. I fired at him with my gun but could not hit him. I then started to run around the left side of the building. I looked back at $K2, who motioned her head to the left, telling me that the man was also coming around on the left side of the church. I quickly ducked into the indent in the side of the church between the buttresses. The man started firing at $K2, yelling as he ran down the side of the church. I aimed my gun out, waiting to ambush him as he ran by. He quickly passed my view and i fired at him. At first i thought that i had missed him, but then i stepped out of the indent and saw him fall to the ground. He was hurt. I walked over to him. He appeared to be occidental, with rich dark skin. He was skinny, and very detailed. I could see the bullet hole in his upper abdomen where i had shot him from the back. He was bleeding. We had to get him to help before he bled to death. I helped him up and told him that we would get him to a hospital. I was very worried about him. I took him into the large room of the house, where he lay down on the floor. I dressed his wounds and looked at the hole. I would have to remove the bullet. The other person rubbed the bullet as i pulled it out of the wound. Then i noticed that small metal fibers from the bullet had fallen back into the wound, which was a ruffle of skin in black and white (much like a photograph of a heart valve). I could not close the wound with the debris there. I would have to clean it out. I was frustrated, and still worried for the man, whom i cared for.
I stared out the front window of my parents’ house. I could see the dead tree branch hanging just out of the window. An animal crawled out of the top of the trunk and down the near branch. At first i thought that it was a raccoon coming out for the night, but then i realized that it was simply a squirrel. The squirrel froze as it watched me. I stared into its eyes, expecting it to run away. It just stayed there. I moved suddenly to see if it would react. It just stood atop the typewriter keyboard on the old log. Then the cat, that i had been petting under my chest, darted for the squirrel. The squirrel ran away across the lawn. The cat followed it up the orange curtains on the large glass door of the apartment. The cat then stopped at the top of the curtains and looked around. I wondered if the cat would get its claws stuck in the drapery and not be able to climb down. I turned to the right in the modern apartment and headed out the front door. The apartment was orangish in decor, with rich cra-coloured walls. There was a balcony outside on which i stood. It faced out over the parking lot below and the city beyond. I leaned on the railing as i looked out. I felt unhappy. The man walked out of the apartment and commented on how this balcony is more sheltered from the wind than the one on the front of the building. I could see out the large glass doors on the right side wall of the apartment where the other balcony was. There were city lights in the distance. I then looked down the corridor which ran around the outside of the building to my right. It led around to the other side of the building. I wandered around the corner to the left, staying on the outside of the building. I looked out the large windows on the right side of the hall. They over looked the capitol building in Washington, DC. It was lit up for the night, with a deep blue sky along the horizon. This was the rich side of the hotel, where people would pay for such a view. I realized that i could see individual windows on the capitol and wondered how easy it would be to stand here with a riffle and shoot at people in the building. I continued down the balcony on the outside of the building.