12005 January 01
I seemed to be facing east, though i could not see anything in front of me. I seemed to have my right hand held in front of my face with my fingers spread, as though i was trying to look at something in my palm. I could see through my hand. I was invisible, and i could feel the light passing through my torso from the west. I knew that this was not something that i could do by myself. Someone had made me invisible through some process. I tried to focus on what i was looking at, but my body seemed like it was made of a yellow-tinted glass, and i was standing behind myself watching the rays of light pass into my back and through my body. I knew that this effect would wear off on its own, but i did not want it to go away. The effect felt good, and i wanted it to last. I thought that someone would have to subject me to the process again.
12005 January 03
I looked at the bright yellow blender as someone spoke to me about it. There was something special about the blender. I focused on the colourful logo on the base of the blender as my father said something about it. The logo seemed to form the letters “CCS”. I remembered that they were the company name. The company used to make computer chips long ago, and their name was derived from this fact, but they were just known as CSS now. I thought about the initials and mentioned to my father that they stood for “Control Chips and Systems”. They had designed the memory chips in the blender. My father was sitting to the west of me as we faced the blank cement wall of the basement area to the north. He said something about the company as i continued to think about the letters. I then felt uncomfortable in this space. It felt as though we were being trapped here. I looked to the east to see that a chain-link fence had been stretched across the room. There was a set of old stairs, which looked like the stairs to my parents’ basement, to the east. They descended to the north, ending on a wooden platform, less than a metre from the black northern wall of the room. A theatre light above dimly illuminated them, and the thin smoke drifting in the light made the scene dramatic. The bright silver fence stretched from the top end of the stairs toward me, ending just off my right shoulder. My attention was then turned to the north, where a young man stood directly in front of me. He was wearing a pair of white shorts, but he did not have a shirt on. He was not well muscled, but he had a nice shape and nice detail to what muscle he did have. I thought that i should not be so interested in him, because i was already dating someone, but his body was nice to look at. He said something is a bold voice as he stared to the back of the audience, to the south. He then moved to the west and started down the side of the audience. This was all part of the play. He was stating his lines over and over again. I turned to the east to see that several other actors were walking through the audience. I now seemed to be sitting on the easternmost seat of the western section of audience. Several people started to stand in the central section of the room, and i realized that there were many actors hiding in the audience. They stood up to do their lines, interacting with the audience as they spoke. One of the women from the cast mentioned the name “Scarlet”. I looked around at the cast, noticing that they were all wearing colonial costumes. I realized that this was a retelling of Gone with the Wind. This scene must represent the party at the beginning of the movie, when everything was normal. I tried to remember what part the man without a shirt played in the movie, and decided it had something to do with the war. It was part of the battleground scene. Several of the other high school students stood up and started moving around the theatre. They were all actors for this play. I then focused on a man in the center of the audience. The other actors seemed to have disappeared, but he stood in the spotlight, looking generally to the west as he faced north. He was introducing the play. I guessed that he was the teacher who directed the play. He was wearing a brown vest over an off-white shirt. There seemed to be a bandage slung under his chin and over the top of his head. He thanked the audience for coming and introduced the performance. I was interested in the show, thinking that it was well produced.
I was trying to remember the letters that i had seen on the blender. There seemed to be something important about them. I remembered that they were “CCS” and that they stood for “Control Chips and Systems”. I had dreamed about this word, and i thought that i should look it up. I said something to the person to the south of me as i stood up. I was in a small cubicle is my office. The cubicle faced north, with a long counter across the southern wall. I was talking to the other person over the short wall on the southern side of the cubicle. I told him that i would have to go back to my cubicle to look it up. I then felt strange, knowing that he would wonder why i was sitting in this cubicle when it was not mine. I explained something to him, telling him that my computer was really in a different cubicle. I had only brought it to this cubicle to do some work. I turned and walked to the east, down a narrow corridor and turned to the south, into another cubicle. I entered the cubicle from the eastern side of the north wall. There seemed to be a counter just to the west of the entryway, and there was a long counter along the eastern wall of the cubicle. I noticed that the black computer under the eastern counter was pulled out slightly so that it was in the walkway. I felt annoyed that it had been moved, thinking that $A375 must have moved it to do something with the system. I looked down at the green LCD screen on the top of the black box as i passed. The box was oddly shaped, slanting down on the top toward the front. It seemed more like a game console than a computer. I bent over and pushed it back into place against the eastern wall. I then realized that the black computer was standing next to it, just to the north. I turned around and walked into the western side of the cubicle. I spotted my silver laptop computer on the counter along the northern wall of the cubicle. There was a red cable connecting it to the internet. There seemed to be another computer just to the east of it. I sat down and started typing on the keyboard, which was now in the center of the counter. I sat down and found myself on the floor, looking up at the large blue monitor screen which was on the desk above me. I typed in “CCS” to an internet search, but i found that i could not read the letters easily from my position. I wondered what others would think if they saw me working on the screen from the floor. I tried to make out the words on the screen as i moved the mouse with my right hand, positioning the cursor over the words. I remembered that the cursor would change style when i was over a link on a web page. I decided that this would be a way for me to tell what i was searching for.
We exited the large building, and paused on the street outside. The building was to the south of my parents and me. My mother said something about the crowd that was gathered on the street, just to the west of us. My father said that he would like to go to the church next door. I looked to the west, noticing that the crowd was gathered in front of the church. The other church was a controversial church. I looked to the southwest, around the corner of the building from which we had exited to see the older design of the other church. The building from which we exited seemed to be made of plain grey stone, but the other church was brown with white trim. Its stone structure was very decorative, with tall arching windows and white pillars on the buttresses. The people were crowed in front of the building for some special event. As i looked over the details of the building, i thought that it was a russian-orthodox church. My father walked to the west, into the crowd in an attempt to push his way into the church. I looked to the south as we passed the northwestern corner of the grey building. The crowd was to the west of me, at a slightly lower level of ground. The entrance to the other church was set back into line of the street, and there ground in front of it was set into the ground, below the street level by about a metre. There seemed to be a cement planter just to the west of me which separated the higher level of the street with the lower level. The top of the planter was level with the street that i was on, and it seemed to be filled with dirt. There were no plants growing because it was cold out. I realized that there was a sidewalk which ran between the grey church and the planter, heading to the south, to the controversial church. There was a modern roof over the front of the church. It was suspended by thin black metal poles and seemed to be made of a light material. The sidewalk turned to the west at the wall of the church and ran under the roof to the front door. Just as i was about to point the door out to my father, my mother called out to him, telling him that there was a walkway to the church where we were. I walked down the walkway and passed around the crowd that was gathered in front of the church. I walked through the large doorway at the front and stopped just inside. There did not seem to be anyone in the church yet, but there were a few people gathering just inside the door. There was a short wooden wall to the west of the door which ran parallel with the north wall of the room. The floor on which the wall rested seemed to be at a higher level than the doorway, and there seemed to be a space below it, as though the wall was preventing people from falling down the stairway which led to the basement. There was a group of women standing at the top of the stairs. They were all dressed in similar clothing. Each wore a dark bluish-grey dress with a lighter bluish-grey belt and shoulder cloth. They were also wearing their hair up under light-bluish-grey hats, which reminded me of the hats that mennonite women wore. They must have been the women of the order. I felt concerned that this church did not treat women as equal to men. I watched the women for a moment as they quietly talked among themselves. Someone pushed past me, heading into the center of the chapel, to the south. I looked around the room. The ceiling was not that high, and the wooden chairs of the congregation were all faced toward the center of the round room. At the center of the room was an old wooden podium. Some of the wooden furnishings in the room seemed to be covered with a green cushioned material. A woman then moved past me, moving toward the group of women to the west of me. I thought that it was my mother, and i tapped her on the back to get her attention. As the young woman with the dark-blonde shoulder-length hair turned around, i realized that she was just another woman from the congregation. I apologized to her and looked back into the center of the room. I did not see my parents around me and thought that my father must have entered the church. I walked to the center of the room and looked to the south. There was a section of pews which faced north. They were arranged in a triangle, where the shortest pew was in front. There was a wall behind the fourth or fifth pew which seemed to be the back of the room, though i knew that it was only a dividing wall. The true back of the room was farther back. The section of pews to the southwest reached farther back in to the church that the section in front of me. The dividing wall was pale green, and matched the cushions on the seats. My father walked into the small section of pews and sat down in the second row. I wondered if it would be strange for us to be sitting is the front row of the congregation when the mass was being performed. I walked toward the first pew to join my father, noticing that the cushions on the pews made the pews look like old couches. The cushions were worn, and the one just to the west of my father had been flipped over the back of the couch. As i approached my father, however, i realized that the man sitting on the couch was not really my father. He was just someone who looked like my father. I felt suddenly confused, as though the scene was changing around me. I wondered where my father had gone. I remembered seeing him come into the room. I looked around at the four or five other people who were sitting in the small section of chairs. Some glanced at me in question, while others just sat waiting for the mass to start. I looked around the church, heading to the east. There were people filling the pews to the east of me. I looked to the east, spotting my mother in the congregation, but, as i drew closer to her, i realized that it was not here. The other woman seemed to be wearing the same clothing as my mother. I felt very confused. I looked back to the west to see that all of the pews were now filled with people, all around the room. Everyone was sitting quietly, listening to the man in the center of the room talk. He seemed to be and old heavy-set light-skinned man with a square face and white hair. He was facing south as he leaned on the podium in front of him. Something he was wearing seemed to be the same pale green as the rest of the room. I started back to the west, trying to find my parents. Someone then called my name. I stared out to the west for a moment before looking back to the south. There was a short pew just to the south of me with two people in it. I did not quite recognize the man on the south side of the pew, sitting next to the short dividing wall. He was the only one looking at me, and i realized that i must know him. He was young, and he was wearing a bluish-grey vest over a silver shirt. As he stood, i noticed that he had on matching silver pants. I remembered this costume from a science-fiction television show. The man approached me, speaking, and i remembered that i had just seen someone else in the same costume. I looked to the southwest, one pew forward to see another young man in the same suit. This man seemed to have something silvery on his head. They greeted each other and then both stood to talk to me. I spoke to them for a moment, but then we were moving to the east, into another room of the church. They led me through a doorway to the south, and i found myself with them in a large square room which was filled with water. The ceiling of the room seemed quite high, and the walls were dull red. We got into a small boat and moved out onto the water in the center of the room. I felt good here, as though i was happy to be with the other two men. I felt as though i was seeing something special. We floated to the south, out into the small bay, which seemed to be on a large lake, but still contained within the room. The other two men sat behind me in the boat as we moved out. I then turned and looked back to the north, noticing that the rest of the congregation was in the room with us. They were all floating on boats of various sizes. I was awed by this place and gazed unfocused around. My attention was then drawn by a small green canoe which passed just to the north of us at a quick speed. We had been heading to the northwest, and were near the western wall of the room when the boat passed. I did not look at the man in the boat, but i knew that it was the first man whom i had been talking to. I felt suddenly betrayed, and i turned around to the southeast to see who was still on my boat. I realized that there was no one with me on the boat. Something was wrong. I turned back to the north to see all of the boats heading through a small doorway in the southern wall. Everyone was leaving the room, abandoning me here. They had tricked me. I felt scared and tried to get back to door in the north wall, but it had closed before i could get to it. I was still in the center of the water when the door closed. I looked at the square pink metal door in the middle of the pink wall. The door seemed to slide up a track above the doorway. As i approached the door, it seemed as though i could see a priest moving across a window above and to the west of the door. I wondered what would happen to me here. I felt that they might flood the room. I worried that they were trying to kill me. Once i reached the door, i knocked on the pink metal three times. The sound resonated, and i realized that the three quick knocks sounded like a secret-society knock. I wondered if the church would think it was special and let me in. I waited for a moment, but no one answered. I then realized that the door was in a short wall. Just above the door, on the other side of the pink wall, was a walkway which led to a door on the western side of the northern wall. I climbed out of the water to the east of the metal door, where the wall around the walkway was lower to the water. I climbed onto the walkway old looked to the north, through the door in the center of the northern wall. I seemed to be looking back in to the church. I wondered what happened to my parents. I did not see them in the church, and i worried that something had happened to them. I was naked. I had taken off all of my clothes, except for my white underwear, to get into the water. I hoped that the members of the church did not steal my clothes. I looked down at the floor just to the east of the door and noticed several pairs of shoes on the ground. The congregation had left some of their shoes by the water. I looked around for my pair, and then tried to find my blue jeans and shirt. I no longer felt frightened, but i was still uneasy about this place. I wanted to get my things and leave. $Z was then near me, just to the northeast of me. I seemed to be standing in a doorway, but there was a lawn to the north of me, with a short but wide tree standing just to the northwest of the door. The dense canopy of the tree shaded the door and the bare patch of packed dirt where i was standing, trying to put on my pants. There seemed to be a church to the north, up a shallow incline, across the grassy lawn. I sat down on the hard dirt and put on my shoes. I then noticed the key chain on the ground under me. I said something to $Z about finding my things as i looked over the key chain. The ornament on the key chain was of a dime encased in a plastic disc. I recognized it, but it did not have all of my keys on it. I said that the other keys must have fallen off. I stood up and started to search the ground, telling $Z that i hoped that i could find the keys.
12005 January 06
I was talking with some other people as we walked to the east-southeast on the cement walkway. We seemed to be to on a college campus, to the east of the central campus. There was something nice about being here. The other man then approached us from the south. He seemed to know $Z and greeted him. I watched the man as he smiled and shook $Z’s hand. The man looked familiar to me. He had short red hair and a thin face. He was wearing a tank top and a pair of shorts. He was about my height and thin, but i could see that he had some muscle build to him. He seemed very attractive, and i thought that he looked like someone i had known from college. I spoke to him and realized that he was $A376, the man i had known from a class in college. I had thought that he was very attractive in college as well. As i watched him greet us, i could tell that he had gotten older. There were some wrinkles on his face and on the tanned skin of his shoulders, but he still seemed to be in good shape. We turned to the north and started walking across the small sidewalk. $A281 was with me. I thought about $A376, who was walking just to the northeast of us. I felt interested in him and started to think about college. $A281 started jogging to the west, along the sidewalk on the northern side of the road. I jogged along with him, just to the south of him. $A376 moved along with us, just to the north. $A376 said something about still keeping in shape. I said that i was no longer running as regularly as i used to. $A281 shook his head as he ran, letting me know that he thought that should sill be able to run. I felt bad, and told him that i had a problem with my knee which would not heal. I said that it prevented me from training, but i then mentioned that i still ran some. I started to feel that i was no longer i shape as we jogged. I looked down at the green grass as we continued to the west. Suddenly, there was a ball rolling past me from behind. I thought that $A376 had kicked the ball between us as we ran. I kicked the ball forward, wondering if i could feel that i was playing a sport as well as the others. There seemed to be a short chain-link fence to the north of us as we continued through the narrow strip of grassy lawn. $A376 ran around the front of us and headed to the southwest. The lawn was not a large park in the middle of the city. There seemed to be tall apartment buildings running along the north side of the grassy area now. $A376 picked up a frisbee and tossed it back to us. We stopped running in order to play. I had the frisbee, but i was not sure whether i would be able to throw it well. I was out of practice playing all of these sports. I felt strange, but wanted to do the things that $A376 was doing. I felt interested in him. As we moved slowly to the west, we came into the westerns section of the room. The ceiling of the room was open so that we could see the old rafters above us. There was a short dividing wall running from the northern wall and separating a small area of the western side of the room. There seemed to be a yellow couch against the western wall of the room, where $A281 was sitting. $A376 was standing just to the southeast of the couch, saying something to him. This place felt comfortable, though i still felt as though i was not yet part of this company.
12005 January 07
I ran along the northern side of the house, heading to the east. It was night, and we were sneaking into the house where the cult lived. Someone else was with me. She seemed to be a friend. We stopped at the northeastern corner of the old house. The house seemed to be dark yellow, and seemed to be covered with wood shingles. The stone foundation of the house held the wood about a metre and half from the ground level. We had come here before, trying to get away from someone, and now we were trying to figure something out. I thought that this plot would make a good story, so i tried to remember what i was thinking of. I felt nervous here, afraid that the members of the church would find us here. There were two men entering the house from the porch on the eastern face of the building. I peered around the corner of the house to see the two men in heavy yellow robes crossing the front porch and walking into the house. The porch was big, with solid walls around the sides and two large poles on the front corners supporting the shingled roof. I backed up, moving back to the west along the northern wall. As we passed the window, i ducked. I hoped that the woman following me would see what i had done and duck under the window so that the people in the illuminated front room inside would not see her. I headed down the stairs to the west, along the side of the house. The woman followed me down into the basement. I then started to think that this was a good story. I tried to remember what was happening. I remembered this plot from before, and i tried to remember what we had done before. This was all part of a play that we were acting out. $F43 was with me as we moved to the south, across the dark living room of the house. I knew that it was late at night. Someone had come into the front door of the house, and they seemed to be dangerous, but this was really a comedy. $F43 had been in the front room when the burglars came into the house. She was trying to defend herself from them. She was improvising her part, and was playing the scared woman who could defend herself from the dangerous intruders. I thought that i could wander through the house, passing the burglars as though i had not noticed them. It would be funny if i walked past one of them in a sleepy daze, pausing in realization just a few moments afterward. I looked to the south as $F43 walked around near the southern side of the room. There was a corridor running off of the room from the western end of the southern wall. A very short wall ran from the southern wall just to the east of the doorway. There were thin white vertical poles running from the top of the wall to the ceiling. $F42 was talking to $F43 on the other side of the room as the rest of the cast wandered around the stage. We were still trying to construct the play through improvisation. I knew that the character that i had come up with was interesting, but i realized that it would draw a lot of attention to my character. As i watched the woman speak to $F42, i realized that she was not the lead character in the play. I did not think that i should take that much attention away from her by creating an interesting character for myself. I looked at the woman. She was thin, with a triangular face. Her skin was wrinkled around her mouth as she smiled, and i thought that she looked somewhat old. She was still rather attractive. She had chin-length black hair which curled out at the bottom, and she was wearing a white V-neck shirt under a black leather biker jacket. I felt that i should let her have the lead all to herself, since i seemed to have been given the lead for the last several productions. I knew that she was a very good actor, and i felt that she deserved a chance to prove her ability.
12005 January 08
I woke up at $F45’s house and stood up in the bedroom. It was still dark, but i could see things clearly in the room. I moved to the west first, where there was a tall window, but then i was looking out the window to the north. I pulled down a section of the blinds and peeked out. It had been raining that night, and i was wondering whether there would be any snow on the ground. I could see the street below and the white snow on the spacer between the sidewalk and the road. The road still seemed black, as though it had not had any snow on it. I remembered that there had been a tree in the middle of the spacer. I wondered whether the rain could have frozen into ice. $F45 then said something. He was standing to the east of me as i looked out the window. He said that the view of the city was very nice from his window and tried to point it out to me. I was now standing in front of a very large window which looked to the north. The glass seemed to run all the way from the ceiling to the floor. I could see the skyline of the suburban houses to the north of the house. There was no longer a bed in the center of the room, and the eastern and western sides of the room seemed to be a steep higher and lower respectively than the floor of the room itself. $F45 said that he wanted to show me something out the window. I thought that he was going to point out the church tower which i had seen from the street earlier that evening. There were several steeples to the north of the house which made the skyline interesting. As i backed away from the window slightly, i realized that i had a wide view of the skyline from this window. The bare branches of trees rose form either side of the skyline, but i could make out the dark outlines of the houses and steeples against the dark purple sky across a wide central section of the view. $F45 was still trying to see something which seemed to be to the east of the view from the window. I stepped back from the window and followed him to the east, to another window. The other window actually seemed to be a doorway which led out onto a small balcony.
I walked to the north, around the western side of the house. I had woken up early at $F45’s house and was wandering around outside. I was surprised that it was light already, thinking that it must not be so early. I looked down at the soggy ground of dead winter grass, which has some traces of green in it. I seemed to be barefoot, but i did not notice the cold of the ground. It seemed strange to me that i had left the house and had left $F45 sleeping while i went for a walk. I thought i would tell him that i was just not able to sleep well and needed to take a little walk. I stepped across an area which seemed to be a gravel driveway. There seemed to be cars parked to the northeast of me. I turned to look back at the house. It was a two-story house which seemed to be dull light blue. I then noticed something red in the sky to the southeast. I looked up to catch a glimpse of an airplane before it passed behind the roof of the house. The plane seemed oddly shaped, with a large bulbous forward section and a very short fuselage. I watched the airplane reemerge from over the roof of the house. It seemed odd that it was flying so low, and i wondered whether there was a problem with it. I then noticed that it was a propeller plain, and that there was a stream of smoke coming from its right wing. I thought that the plane might be crashing. I watched it as its nose lifted slightly and it turned to the northeast, circling around toward me. I realized that there was definitely something wrong as i noticed more smoke coming from the right engine. The airplane turned until it was facing me. Its nose was now down, and i realized that it was coming right for me. I worried suddenly that it would crash on top of the house. I wondered what i should do as i watched it approach. I then realized that it would not hit the house, but would pass over my head and head to the north. It seemed very close as it started to pass over, though it did not seem to be very large against the sky. I watched as the blue and silver bottom of the airplane passed over our heads, apparently in a controlled dive.
I was in the room with my relatives. It seemed that i had just woken up in the house, but my relatives were there. I seemed to be in a kitchen area in the center of the house. I was facing north, across the narrow room. $K19 walked across the floor in front of me, to the west. She looked different than what i had remembered. She was older, and her face was now boxy and fat. She had long bright blonde hair and was wearing as white dress as she stopped in front of $K1, just to the northwest of me. $K19 asked me something, and i felt strange. It was a question that i knew my relatives did not want answered. I told her that she could not know the answer to the question, but i felt very uncomfortable in the situation.
We had to get our things together so that we could leave. We had been here for a while, and now it was time to go. This place seemed like a foreign land, but i did not know the people with whom we were staying. This place seemed a little like Italy, but the people were more like native Americans. The area around me seemed to be very long east to west. There was a tan tent cloth hanging to the north of me, dividing the areas of dusty ground. The cloths seemed to be supported by ropes. I backed up, tripping over one of the wooden poles which was supporting some of the ropes. The pole pulled from the ground and started to fall, but i managed to catch it. I felt embarrassed that i had broken some of the things here. I held onto the pole, which had been formed out of the trunk of a small tree. The bark was still on the tree. I tried to put the trunk back into the ground, but i noticed that there was a small narrow piece of the trunk catching on the ground. I had to get it back in to the smaller hole, which was inside the deci-deep hole that the trunk had been resting. I thought that the smaller piece of would made it easy to guide the larger trunk into the small pit, but then i remembered that the other trunk i had pulled up earlier did not have this thin piece. That trunk was simply rounded at the bottom and pushed into a shallow hole of the ground, about a deci deep. The depth was not deep enough to actually support the poles well, and i thought that this must be very poor constriction. I put the pole back in and continued to gather my things, feeling that we had to leave this place and get back home.
12005 January 09
I was in my parents’ house, getting dressed. I was getting ready for some event, which seemed like going to school. I had my old clothing from high school, and i was contemplating putting it on. I was not sure that i should be wearing the old uniform, though, knowing that no one at the high school still wore such things. Then i thought that they were wearing the pants with the black stripe down the outside again. I paced around the room, trying to think of what i should do. Something was confusing here. I could not keep track of the surroundings of the house, and i found myself in the large room on the first floor of the old house. This place seemed like $P19, but it was no longer in use. There was a smaller room to the east, where some of the others were wandering. I had to get the rest of my things together and get out of this house, but i could not concentrate on what i had to do. There were many people around, and i felt as though i did not really want to go. Confused, i talked to some of the people in the room, talking about the situation. $F12 was with me. I spoke to him about what was happening. I had to say goodbye to him, but it felt very strange to do so, as though this was different that saying farewell any other time. $F12 moved around to the east of me, looking over things on the wooden counter which ran along the eastern wall of the small room. This room seemed unfinished, with bare plywood floors and open rafters in the wall. It was to the east of the large room in which i had been standing before. I looked at the features of the room as i spoke to $F12. There were two square holes in the floor of the room, evenly spaced in the center of the room. I remembered that there used to be hives over the holes. As i paced around, i looked into the hole on the southern side of the room, seeing the old honey which was left inside. I spoke to $F12 about something which made me feel disappointed. As i did, i pulled a small wad of old honey out of my pocket and tossed it into the hole near me. The wad from my pocket had picked up some lint and had become dark brown. It looked dark against the honey in the hole, and i thought that i might be contaminating the honey that was already in the hole. However, i decided that the honey in the hole was not to be saved. I remembered when the researchers had hives over the holes. Now that the hives were gone, i decided that the holes could not be of any use. They would be discarded with the rest of this place. I felt sad and walked to the west, talking to someone about what was happening. I was uncertain about what to do. I was not comfortable here, but i did not really want to see this place end. I turned to the north, and started heading to the east again. I was outside now, walking along the sandy slope at the base of a steep rocky hill. The hill rose to the north, and there seemed to be a beach to the south. It seemed that i had just left the main room of the house again, but i was now walking past a playground. There was a large wooden structure just to the southeast of me which was part of the playground. Some children were playing on the wooden object as i walked past, to the north. Just past the structure, i noticed a group of people wrestling. They were practicing for a tournament. I felt reminiscent watching them. There was a group lining up to the northeast and north of me. They seemed to be getting ready for something. They were all wearing sweatpants and shirts of dark colours. I spotted a young man who seemed to be from one of the lower weight classes. He was wearing a dark-blue long-sleeve sweatshirt under his black singlet. Turning to the south, i spotted $F4 in the crowd of wrestlers. He looked young. He was competing in the tournament, and was now getting ready. I was glad to see the people getting ready for the sport, and i stopped to look around. The coach was standing to the east of me. He was shorter than i and had a stocky build. He too was wearing a dark-blue sweatshirt. I looked down the steep slope of the hill to the south to see some of the other wrestlers getting ready. I then noticed that there was a wooden structure to the southwest of me, about halfway down the hill. I recognized some of the people on the top of the structure. They were from high school. $F5 was sitting with them. He bent over the back of his seat to look at me, waving as he smiled. He was wearing a grey shirt which reminded me of the shirts we wore in high school. His brothers and some of his friends seemed to be sitting with him. I waved back and then turned to the north. As i started across the sandy ground, i noticed a young man waddling across the ground in front of me. He was moving across a red wooden plank toward where the other wrestlers were standing in line. I realized that the young man did not have any arms or legs. He only had stubs where his arms and legs should be. I knew that he was still going to compete in wrestling, and i thought that this was a strange wrestling tournament. I turned to the southeast to see a large wooden cone with a flat top. The top was painted red or blue with a white ring painted around the edges of it. I thought that it was the wrestling ring, but then i realized that it could not be the ring. It was too small, and the edges were very steep. There was no place for the wrestlers to walk off the mat if they wandered outside the circle. I looked around, wondering where the mat was. It had to be here somewhere. This wrestling seemed very strange. I then decided that the mat must be to the north of me. My attention was drown to the south, however, as a large wave rolled across the beach, running up to my feet. I realized that the wave was big enough to have made it all the way up the hill to where i was. It was a tsunami. It had already washed out the lower part of the beach. I felt worried and thought that i should climb to a higher elevation in case a second larger wave came in. I turned to the north. There was a dirt cliff just to the north of me. I dug my hands in to the soft dirt and started to pull myself up. I kicked my feet into the dirt below me and pulled myself up. I could no longer see the dark-grey dirt of the cliff in front of me as i climbed, so i felt my way along the cliff. I knew that there was dense vegetation growing at the top of the cliff just above me, so i reached up and grabbed on to the roots of some trees and pulled myself onto the top of the cliff. I knew that $F4 was to the east of me, so i paced the sand to the east, where the hill had leveled off. I wondered if the waves were over. I thought that $F5 had been on the bleachers at the bottom of the beach when the waves hit. I turned to the southwest and headed across the sand in a daze. I could not concentrate on the area around me. I hoped that $F4 was all right. I walked across the slope of the hill to the west, along the back lawns of the small wooden beach houses. It was night now, and there seemed to me some light reflecting off of low clouds in the sky. The shallow hill ran down to the beach to the south of me. There was long beach grass growing on the hill around me. I looked at the yellow house to the north as i passed, aware that i was trespassing on the property. I hoped that no one would notice. I felt hesitant to continue, but felt that i had to head to the west. There was a wire-and-slat fence to the west, separating two of the properties. I turned to the northeast as i crossed the lawn, grabbing onto the rope clothesline above me for balance. It almost seemed that i was swinging on the clothesline as i moved toward the space between the two houses. I thought that i should move quickly in case the owners noticed me on their land. I was floating now just above the ground. I floated between the houses, watching the dark windows of the white house to the east as i passed. I found myself on the sidewalk in the front of the cottages. There seemed to be small bushy gardens it front of the houses. I turned to the right, heading north along the sidewalk. I was floating higher over the ground now. I knew that people did not like when i floated, but i felt good doing it. As i came to the end of the houses, i could see the silhouette of a drooping leafless tree in front of me. It was backlit by the orange light of a parking lot beyond. I had started in the parking lot, and had finally made my way back. I thought that i could fly high over the parking lot, hovering just over the lights so that i would be out of sight, but then i thought that i could fly just within the light so that people would see me. They would realize that something like flying was possible. I wanted people to know that there was something possible which was beyond their regular experiences. I then thought how people would be angry with me for showing everyone. I headed to the east, down the corridor in the large building, back to where i had come from. This place seemed like $P7. Someone was questioning me for flying, telling me that it was not good. I stopped at the end of the corridor, where the woman in the brown robes stood. There was a man just to the north of me as i stood in front of her. She scolded me for flying, telling me what a sin it was. Both of them seemed angry with me. The woman said that i was not good any more. I did not take her seriously and turned back to the east, casually asking her if she meant “for now”. She seemed bitter, and told me that she meant forever. I realized that she meant that i was no longer a priest. She was taking away my status. I seemed to be catholic at the time, meaning that she had authority over my rank. I became mad at her and harshly told her that the world would change and that “forever” was not forever. This had something to do with the fact that i was homosexual. I took the plaque from somewhere and threw it on the ground in anger. I felt suddenly weak as i realized that i did not throw the plaque with enough force to break it, so i stamped on it until it shattered. I then angrily moved to the west, grapping a picture from the southern wall and shattering it on the ground as well. This time, i threw it with enough force to break it on the first attempt. I looked down at the picture, which now had a fractured and deformed corner where it had hit the ground. I continued to the west, wondering what i should do now.
12005 January 13
The truck stopped on the road of the mountain pass. I was sitting in the passenger seat as we faced east. I looked to the south, and the tall rocky cliffs just out the window of the truck. I was aware that $F24 was driving the truck. He had stopped at what appeared to be the gate to a national park. There was a man in a blue uniform standing in front and to the north of the truck making some hand motion to $F24. It seemed to be snowing around us, and i thought that a large storm must have just passed. I looked up at the cliffs again, noticing the vertical rolls in the rough reddish-tan rocks. There seemed to be water trickling down between the rolls. I thought that the water had come from the melting snow at the top of the cliffs. I looked up the face of the cliff, amazed at how tall and vertical they were. They seemed to be the height of mountains, but they rose right next to the window of the truck with very little horizontal slope to them. The top seemed to form a sharp ridge high above me. The man in the blue winter jacket waved us on, and $F24 started the truck forward again. I looked out the front window of the truck as we moved, noticing the mist of water at the bottom of the cliffs, where the falling streams had hit the ground at the bottom. The streaks of water down the rock now seemed white, and i thought that the mist at the bottom must have been turning to frost. I described the mist to $F24, letting him know how fascinated i was with the beauty of the cliffs. I then realized that the road ahead was very narrow. The cliffs were brushing up against both sides of the car. I did not think that we could fit through the narrow ravine, but we continued moving. This was the entrance to a national park. I watched the icy cliffs as they passed close to the truck. I then realized that it was snowing rather heavily. The mist from the cascading water must have been freezing near the top of the cliffs. We then came into a small parking area on the northern side of the road. This was a small turn around at the entrance to the park. There seemed to be cabins to the east and southeast. It was dark now, and there seemed to be a lot of snow on the ground. I worried that we might get stuck out here. I remembered that there was a narrow dirt road which led off of the main road, heading east-northeast. $F24 started to turn the truck onto this road, and i felt worried that we would get stuck. We were on the edge of the campground, and if we continued, we would end up in the forest. I hoped that $F24 did not continue into the woods. It was too late at night. I told him to turn the truck around, and, to my relief, he turned the truck around in the small cul-de-sac and stopped in the middle of the snow-covered ground. There seemed to be a white cabin to the southwest of us, and i was now standing to the west of the truck, watching myself in the truck. $Z said something to me and i replied. $Z was standing to the north of me. I looked around the campground. There were more cabins to the south and southeast. There seemed to be many people hanging around. A camp fire was burning to the south, and i could see the dark silhouettes of people moving in front of it. I turned to the east and said something to $K5. She was standing against the northern wall of the room. The wall was white, and this place seemed to be a hospital. Others from the campsite were lingering around to the south and southeast of the brightly lighted room. I said something funny to $K5 and she started to laugh. There was a hospital bed to the east of her, which she seemed to have been sitting on. She was wearing a white hospital gown. She bent over, placing her left hand on her pregnant stomach. I thought that she might be ready to give birth. She leaned against the wall and said “I think my water just broke.” We should get her help. I watched her as she leaded her back against the north wall. She was wearing blue jeans under the white gown as she lowered herself to the floor. I looked around the field for someone who could help. I then noticed that there was a large truck bouncing over the snow-covered ground toward us from the east. It smashed through a wall of stacked ice blocks which had been erected along the eastern side of the campus quadrangle. There seemed to be a large tan academic building to the east of the truck. The driver of the large red truck cheered as he broke through the ice, and i seemed to me that he was from a fraternity party. I worried that the truck would be heading toward us. The man at the wheel was not paying attention to what he was doing. He cheered to someone on the ground. I warned $K5 of what was happening, but the truck was already rolling toward us. $K5 fell forward, onto the ground as the truck came to a halt over her head. I yelled at the truck driver to stop and he looked at me as though he did not understand. I told him that there was someone under the truck, but he seemed confused. $K5 had not been hit by the truck because the clearance under the truck was so high, but she was now lying under the center of the truck. I bent over to get her out, but the driver started to back up. I yelled at the driver again, but he did not seem to understand. I looked under the truck to see $K5 trying to roll out of the way of the front passenger’s tire. If the truck backed up, it would run right over her. I tried to get the man to stop, but he did not seem to understand what was going on.
12005 January 18
I turned the car to the west, heading into the dirt driveway of the old house. There was a wide field to the west and northwest of me, and the old farm house was to the southwest, at the southern end of the field. A line of trees ran across the southern end of the field, just behind the house. The dirt driveway ran along the northern side of the white wooden house. I paused for a moment to look at the house, deciding that i had come to the wrong house. There was a road running down the western side of the field, so i drove across the field. As i passed over the damp tan field grass, i wondered if i would be able to make it across the field without getting my car stuck. The ground seemed firm enough, but i thought that there still might be holes or ditches. As i reached the other road, i slowed down, cautious of the drainage ditch which was between the road and me. I did not want to get stuck in it. I turned slightly to the south, where the grassy ditch seemed shallower. I drove slowly until i was on the narrow road. I turned to the south on the road, thinking that i had to head back to the town in order to find the correct house. I was now on by bicycle. The road seemed old and worn, with thin pieces of asphalt chipping off the surface. I came to the end of the road rather quickly. There were now several houses around me, and i was at the intersection of the main road through town. I turned to the east, noticing the large yellow house on the northern side of the road. This place seemed like $P57, and i knew that the yellow house belonged to $A166. I continued riding my bicycle across the street, to the south and into the driveway of $A377’s and $A343’s house. The driveway was dirt, and ran along the eastern side of the old white wooden farm house. There seemed to be an old screened-in porch on the front of the building, just off the road. There seemed to be a neighbouring house just to the east of the driveway as well. I looked at the large wooden garage which was attached to the southern side of the house as i came to a stop in the driveway. The garage resembled a barn, with two large rounded doors. The white wood over the top of the doors was running vertically. I could see into the northernmost door and noticed that the garage was filed up with construction debris. I remembered that they had been redesigning their house and i thought that they must have emptied the construction material into the garage. The bottom of the pile in the garage seemed to be broken boards and dusty bits of plaster, while the upper layer seemed to have fiberglass insulation in it. I was looking at this stack of debris through the dirty single-pane window which was in the wall of the garage, between the two garage doors. I walked into the house between the house and the garage and came into a narrow stairwell. The house seemed worn, with several coats of white paint on the wooden banister. There also seemed to be something obstructing the stairwell, making the ceiling over the stairs seem very low. It seemed that i would have a hard time making my way to the top, but i was then in the bedroom on the northern end of the house. The others were there as well, and i greeted them. They were all $G4. There was a large bed against the northern wall, in the center of the room. It was covered with a dark-grey sheet, and there seemed to be several things scattered around the room. I was gathering my things together. They were on the floor to the east of the bed. I had stayed here the night before with the rest of $G4, but i felt that i had to leave. I said something to the others, and $A378 questioned me. He seemed skeptical of what i had said, as though he did not believe me. I felt that i had to leave this place, so i did not try to convince him that i was telling the truth. I then realized that the storm was coming. I mentioned this to the others, and someone said that there was suffused to be a storm coming. I looked at the sky over us to see that it was covered with dark-grey clouds. The wind also seemed to be colder. I knew that there was a storm coming. I looked out the window to the west to see the dark clouds in the western sky. I thought that the storm would be coming our way soon. I had to ride my bicycle back before the rain started. I thought that i had parked quite a way away, and i would have to ride my bicycle all the way back. I did now want to make such a long journey, but i felt that i had to. I headed back up the old stairs in the white corridor, but i found that the ceiling was too low for me to pass. There was only a narrow crack between the top-most stair and the ceiling. It seemed too small for me to fit through, and i felt uncomfortable thinking about squeezing through. I wondered how i had made it through the space before. I must have gone by in order to get to the bedroom. This did not make sense. I then realized that i did not really need to climb the stairs to get out of the house. I should be heading down. I thought about squeezing through the small space in order to get down the stairs. I called out to the others, looking at the blank walls of the corridor which crossed the top of the stairs, to the north of me. $A343 showed up at the top of the stairs and said something to me. I told her that i was leaving and said goodbye. I then turned and headed down the stairs. I came out of the house and into the driveway. The wind was blowing heavily, and i started to float to the west. The house was now to the north of me. I tried not to float, but the wind seemed to be carrying me away. I was carrying a towel in my hand which was catching the wind, pulling me slightly to the east. I looked at the branches of the large tree as i tried to descend carefully to the ground. I thought that i might be able to catch them if the wind started pushing me away to the west. The large tree could stop me, but it would make it harder to fall to the ground because i could get caught on the branches on the way down. I had risen rather abruptly, but i had to descend carefully in order not to get hurt. I pulled the white towel close to by body, hoping that my body would block most of the wind to the towel and prevent me from drifting away before i got my feet on the ground. I landed on the gravel driveway and started walking to the east. There was a large branch of the tree on the ground. It must have fallen in the wind. I turned around to look at the large tree. It seemed enormous, stretching way over my head. The storm was coming, and the wind made the long thin branches sway. The tree seemed ancient, with a thick short trunk at the western end of the driveway. Its long dark branched arched high overhead, stretching oven the house and most of the length of the driveway. I thought that the tree might be dangerous in the coming storm. It could be blown over and land on the house. As i reached the end of the driveway, the sky seemed brighter, but coloured orange. It seemed that the storm to the west was colouring the light from the sun. An old woman was walking down the stone path of the house to the south. I looked at her as she moved slowly. I thought that she was probably going out to get here mail and make sure that everything was safe from the storm. She was wearing a dark flowered dress with a white shawl over her shoulders. I turned to the east and started out the driveway when i noticed a dime on the ground in front of me, just off the sidewalk. I started to lean over to get it, but then i decided that it might be bad luck to take a dime from someone else’s sidewalk. As i looked at it more closely, i realized that it was not a dime after all. It was really the head of a screw that had been driven into the pavement. I turned to head to the northeast. I had to hurry back to my bicycle so that i could get out of this place. I had to leave before the storm came.
12005 January 25
I stood to the west of the southern end of the volleyball net, looking through the net at the garden to the east of the net. There was someone standing to the north of the garden, and i was telling him about the plants which were growing along the net. $Z was standing behind me, to the southwest of me. There seemed to be some taller plants, like corn, on the eastern side of the garden, and there were some tomatoes to the south. I explained that the short grass-like plants came up very well every year. I mentioned that they had been planted by the previous owners. I walked to the north a little, now on the eastern side of the net. I looked down at the short plants and said that the flowers would sprout all over the place. The man agreed with me, saying that they come up like weeds. I then told him that the tall plants that we now see, which looked like tall green garlic stalks with oblong bulbs sticking out of the top, would actually not flower. They were only the seed pods. They grew and scattered their seeds all over the ground. The seeds would then grow into the smaller plants which had the white flowers. We stood looking at the flowers for a moment.
I remembered the dream about the garden on the other side of the net and tried to remember the name of the plants that we were talking about. I could not remember what i had called them in the dream. I turned to the west and left the area, which seemed like the area in the dream. There seemed to be an old grey farm house to the south of me. The northern lawn of the house seemed to be wet and covered with trees. It was grey out, as though it had been raining. I rounded the corner of the house, heading to the south, around the western side. The house seemed to face north. There was a thick green bush growing on the western side of the house. I passed to the south, through a narrow space between the bush and the green growth to the west. The ground below me was wet, with muddy ruts running down the center of it. I felt that there could be something dangerous here, and i had to watch out. I came to the south of the house and looked to the east, thinking that i could sneak back to the east and return to where the garden was. I stopped when i noticed that the wide bush on the southern side of the house had some black animal mesh hanging off of it. I spotted a large grey squirrel standing still under the netting, its long tail out straight behind it, to the southwest. The squirrel has seen me coming around the corner, but did not run right away. It stood still, waiting for me to move. I looked up at the netting handing from the bush. There was enough space below the bush for me to pass between the bush and the vegetation to the south, but the netting from the bush was hanging over opening, and i thought that it would snag on my head. I then remembered that i had a bunch of the same mesh netting over my head, and i thought that it would get caught on the branches of the bush. I looked to the southeast, to the south of the line of trees and shrubs which ran near the bush. I suddenly noticed that there was this cone-shaped object sticking up out of a long trench of muddy water. The cone was the closed mouth of an alligator. The ground around me was swampy, and alligators had already moved into the area. I felt suddenly in danger, even though the animal was at least five metres away. I ran to the north, starting to hover over the ground. As i passed back over the muddy trench to the west of the house, i thought that the alligators could have moved into any of these muddy areas. I thought that they could be in the bushes to the west of me now. I flew around the north of the house and ended up on the east side of the house, just to the north of the line of trees which had separated the bush from the watery trench. The alligator was to the southwest of me. I cautiously looked into the water to the south of me, in the eastern end of the trench. I could not see any more alligators there. I then looked back to the west to see the tan nose of the alligator quickly drop down in to the water. I could see the rest of the animal under the surface of the water, to the east of where the nose had been. The animal submerged farther so that i could not see him in the water. I felt uneasy as i searched the area for more alligators. I decided that i should not stay here because of the alligators.
12005 January 26
I walked around the northern end of the table. $A379 seemed to be standing on the eastern end of the table as i continued around to the south of the table. We were looking at some of the things on the table. The table seemed to be cardboard boxes which were full of stuff. I pulled out something as i stopped to the southeast of the boxes. $F45 said that he liked it. I then pulled a blue baseball cap out of a smaller box to the north of me. $F45 took the tan cap and walked around me, to the south. He said that he “loved” the hat and that he was going to steal it from me. He said this in a joking tone. I had bought the hat for him, but i tried to act as though i had not, letting him figure out the surprise. I watched as he pulled the price tag from the hat and moved to the west. I continued looking through the box of things, saying that i really did not like baseball caps. I was trying to lead him in to asking me why i had bought the hat. I could then surprise him by telling him that i bought it for him.
12005 January 28
I moved across the grass, heading to the west. There were some young adults playing something to the southwest of me. I looked over at them as they moved together on the grass, realizing that two of them were struggling with each other. I focused on the two men in the center of the crowd. The one in the blue sleeveless tee shirt had the other man in a sleeper choke. The collar and sleeve openings of his shirt were white, and his chin-length hair was dirty blonde. I could see the muscles of his right arm tense as he squeezed the other man around the neck. There was something fascinating watching the hold, and i felt excited to see the wrestling match. I stood for a moment as the men struggled, suddenly becoming concerned that the man on top would not let go. I worried that he would kill the man he had in a chokehold. Something seemed wrong here, and the area around me seemed to change. The sky was grey now, and i was closer to the crowd of people. Someone said that ABBA was here, but i did not believe that they would actually be performing again. I started to fly over the grass, still concerned about the man who was killed in the fight. I could not stop thinking about the struggle. The man should not have died. I looked down at the grassy park near me. The hills to the west and north of the park were very steep and covered with leafless trees. I looked around, wondering what i should do. I then decided that i would write a letter to the man who was killed and leave it on the grass in the park. I looked at the tan piece of parchment in my hand which i had written a note on. I wanted to write this all down so that i would not forget what happened. I tried to think of the best way to describe the event. I was still floating over the grass of the park as the others gathered around. There was a stage to the southeast of me where a band would be gathering. I remembered what the person had said about ABBA, so i thought that i should write that on the note as well so that i could remember it for later. I added a comment at the bottom of the pen-written note about the band. The comment was in pencil, because that was what i had at the moment. I then noticed the band on the stage as the people moved toward the stage. They were wearing white jumpsuits, and i realized that it really was ABBA. I was surprised to see them performing in a park. They stood in a line with their hands in the air as the audience cheered them on. This all seemed very strange, so i turned to the west and started to fly away. I felt that i had to get to somewhere.
12005 January 29
The man turned around to face me, but there was something wrong with him. I noticed that his eyes were popping out of his head. I thought that it was some kind of infection, and i felt concerned. The man then turned around to face me again as i replayed the scene. His eyes were long white cylinders with rounded ends, and they protruded from his eye sockets at strange angles. Something was wrong. He was sick, and the sickness was forcing his eyes to bulge out. I watched him as he moved toward me, noticing the glossy white cylinders which stuck out of his face. I felt very concerned, as though this was a great wrong. He then passed me again, and i tried to think of what could have happened to him. I wanted to help him put his eyes back in, thinking that something serious must have happened to him to make his eyes come out like that.