ZUDEMA

12008 January 04

I left work and headed to the north, toward home. I walked through the forested area of campus and came to the long suspension bridge. I had not been here in a long time. I remembered that the footbridge used to make me nervous, and i would have to hold on to the railings in order to cross. I looked out across the suspension bridge and noticed that it seemed wider than before. There was a man walking toward me from the other side of the bridge, so i started to feel more comfortable about crossing. The gorge below the bridge was very deep, and i could see the rocky cliffs to the west of the bridge out of the corner of my eye, but i tried not to look down. I kept my attention facing north, across the bridge. The bridge seemed to be covered, with a tan walkway and two thick ropes running on either side. I remembered the bridge being narrower because i had to hold on to the ropes the last time i crossed. Now i was just holding on to the rope on the western side as i walked across. I came most of the way across the bridge, realizing that it was not at all difficult to cross. I then noticed that the piece of cloth suspended in front of me was getting narrower. It was the deck of the bridge, and the eastern edge had been torn so that the walkway got very narrow as i approached the northern end. Some of the students must have torn the cloth of the bridge. I felt nervous and grabbed on to the ropes on either side of the bridge. I was having trouble balancing on the thin cloth of the walkway. I pulled myself along the ropes, wrapping my right arm around one rope so that, if i slipped, i would not fall into the gorge below. I felt tense, and struggled with the ropes as i pulled myself to the end of the bridge. There was a second bridge heading off to the northwest. I would have to get on it, since it was the only way across the gorge. I tightly held on to the ropes on either side of the suspension bridge, afraid that i might miss the next bridge and slip. I lifted my legs into the blue straps that crossed the other bridge. I thought that they were the deck of the bridge. They seemed hard to walk on. I managed to wrap my legs through the crossing blue straps, which seemed to be made of wide heavy material and had rectangular openings cut down the center. As i sat, suspended by the two ropes in my hands and the blue straps under my legs, i realized that the straps might actually be part of the roof of the second bridge. There might be a deck below me. I did not want to check, though, until i was sure that i was not going to fall backward into the open deck of the suspension bridge. I balanced myself on the blue straps and then looked down to see the wooden deck of the second bridge. It was formed by many thin pieces of wood crossing its length. I stepped to the west, onto the bridge. I was heading south when i turned to the east and crossed the street. I had left work early to come to my grandmother’s house. It seemed that one of my other relatives was here, and i knew that we would be leaving for a trip soon. I started across the busy intersection, which seemed to pass under a tall metal suspension bridge. There was a traffic light over the intersection, and something about the cars made this place seem like France. My grandmother was to the south of me. We had to get going so that we could catch our flight. I had my bags ready, but i remembered that i had to get something from the airport. We were late, and my grandmother hurried to the ticket counter to check us in for our flights. I walked across the large lobby of the airport, heading to the northwest. I remembered that i had put my things into one of the lockers on the western wall of the terminal, at the bottom of a set of stairs from the gate. I looked around, but could not recognize the place. There were several lockers on the western wall, but they did not seem like the right ones. I walked across the smooth white stone floor as the crowd moved around me. I then noticed the three lockers on the northern end of the western wall. They looked right, but i was not certain until i noticed the stairway descending along the northern wall, ending near the lockers. That was where i had come from before. I weaved my way through the crowd, watching the lockers as i approached. The lockers were tall, with white metal frames and large round dark glass windows in the center. The middle one had an orangish-red light on the top left corner that was blinking. I decided that the light meant that the locker was empty and ready for use. As i approached, however, someone pushed a cart up to the row of lockers and opened the leftmost one, which did not have a blinking light. The light meant that the locker was in use, so the middle locker must have been mine. I looked into it and noticed my bags there. I had to unlock it, though. I looked at the locks that hung on the top of the door. They seemed like long thin metal padlocks with combination dials on the bottom. I tried to remember the combination, but i could not seem to remember what it was. I muttered “Air France”, thinking that the combination had something to do with the airline that i had taken on the way in. I tried to think, and it seemed that the combination had six digits. The first two seemed to be “06”, and i thought that the last were “08”, but i was not sure that i remembered the entire combination. I did not think it would be that simple. I wondered if “01” were the middle two digits. There were about ten locks in a row, but i knew that i had set only the first six when i had locked the locker. The rest i had left blank. A man came up to me from the south, asking me if i needed any assistance. He seemed to be a porter in uniform. I told him that i was trying to remember the combination, and i focused on the numbers. I could not read the dials on the locks, however. I asked him if he could see the numbers on the dials. I tried to focus on them, but i felt as though i had my eyes closed. I cold see only rough shapes. He looked at the dials as i tried to set the combination. I then pulled down on the left-most lock and it opened. I realized that i might not have changed the numbers on the locks from when i set them originally. I pulled down on all of the locks, which now seemed to be over my head. They all came open but one. This would make it easier, because now i had only one number to remember. I thought that i could easily try all ten digits on the lock quickly, but i only had to turn the dial a little until it opened. This seemed to be the “8” lock. I opened the door and started pulling out my bags. I was disappointed to note that i had left them unzipped. They seemed to be overstuffed, and i knew that we would have some trouble closing them. I was also surprised to find that the locker was rather full. I did not think that i would have that much room on the airplane for all my bags. I noticed a thin black computer bag under the locker, and wondered if it was mine. It seemed to be a computer bag. I knew that it was not mine and wondered why someone would leave their computer bag in such an open place. I then realized that i had forgotten to bring my computer with me on the trip. I felt upset, thinking that i had rushed so much to get here that i did not have everything i needed. I put the orange and red duffle bag on the gray plastic tray of the cart behind me. The porter in the black and white uniform asked me if i needed any help, and i told him that i did not. I turned back to the locker to grab another bag when i noticed that the large black suit bag at the front of the locker was not mine. I suddenly remembered that i had let the young man from the Netherlands, who had been traveling with me, put his bag in the locker. I felt frustrated suddenly and looked around the terminal to the south. He was supposed to meet me here, and i wondered if i had missed him because we were late. I felt distressed and wondered what to do with his bag. I decided that i would simply leave it in the locker and leave the locker unlocked. The computer bag must be his as well, so i thought that he probably came here. I pulled the rest of the bags out of the locker, and started to feel stressed that there were so many. I felt very late now, and hoped that we did not miss our flight. I piled all of the bags on top of the cart and closed the locker. I then bent down to inspect the computer bag, which was under the locker. I started to push the cart to the north when my grandmother joined me. She was upset that we had to rush. I only followed for a few paces before i turned around and headed back to the south, across the pavement at the southern end of the parking lot and into the open storage room, which was in a crude wooden shed. The walls of the shed seemed to be made of plywood. I wanted to make sure we were not forgetting anything. I then noticed the boxes of food against the eastern wall of the room and remembered that we had left food here outside of the locker. I looked through the boxes of food, noticing the frozen boxes of vegetables. I knew that we had left food here last week, but this did not seem like the kind of food that we would have left. I lifted the small box of food and noticed the plastic bags in the box below. I thought that this was our stuff, but, as i lifted it and looked through it, i noticed that the bag was full of candy. It did not seem like something that we would have had. I was frustrated and confused. I had to hurry, but i could not figure out what was ours. Indecisively, i looked through several of the bags again, not quite sure what we had left here or whether any of this was really our stuff. I decided to take one of the bags, thinking that i had found our stuff, but, as i turned to walk out of the room with it, i realized that it was the bag of jelly beans, which i knew was not ours. I dropped the bag back into the box. I was tense and did not know what to do. I had to hurry so i would not miss the flight, but i did not want to forget anything else.

12008 January 05

I looked through the college textbooks as i walked down the stone hall of the university building, heading west. The floor of the off-white hall seemed to be polished terrazzo. I felt sad as i looked at the books. The school year had just ended, and i was putting my books away. I had just taken a test in philosophy, but i felt that i did not do well in it. I could see the corrected test paper with blue writing all over it. I wanted to know how i did, but i was afraid that i did not do well. I then turned to the north, to the table where i had been arranging the books. I felt upset that i was not doing well here. I then remembered that i had started the semester by taking a math class. I remembered being in the class, which was in a classroom on the western end of the wing of the old building, on the northern side of the hall. It seemed that the math class was being taught by $A48. I remembered not liking the class, and thought that i simply stopped showing up. I realized that i would probably get an incomplete grade for the class because i did not drop it from my schedule. I felt depressed, wondering why i had not attended more of the class. There were a few other classes it seemed that i did not keep attending, including a Spanish class. I was upset that i had not put the effort in, and i wondered why i ignored the classes to focus on science. I turned back to the west. There seemed to be a lecture hall to the south of me, with several people sitting in it. They were taking some kind of final exam. I was disappointed with my life here.

12008 January 06

I followed the dirt driveway through the thinly wooded area as it curved from the north to the east. There seemed to be several trailer homes hidden between the leafless trees of the small bowl-shaped valley. The ground was damp and covered with a thin layer of melting snow. A car passed me, heading to the north on one of the other roads in the area as i started past the tennis courts. The land rose sharply to the north of the dirt road in a hill of damp dead field grass and weeds. To the south of the road was the tall chain-link fence of the tennis courts. I followed the driveway, but was cautious because it was very muddy and covered with puddles of melted snow. A car passed me on the road, and i thought that it was very dangerous to be walking on this road because it was only one lane wide. There was no place for walkers to go if a car came. I looked ahead of me, to the southeast, to see the small dull-yellow house at the top of the long grassy hill. The house had a bottom floor, which was partly buried in the slope of the hill. The lower floor seemed plain and dark, but the floor above it, which seemed to be the main floor, was nicer. It was framed with vertical wood beams, and there was a large bay window in the western wing that faced north, out over the slope of the hill. There was something very interesting in the window and the design of the house. I felt very interested in it. I knew the people who had just bought the house, and i spoke to them as i walked to the west of the house. The large family room of the house now seemed nicely designed, but felt strangely gloomy and threatening. The people with me spoke uneasily of the house. I was in one of the empty rooms on the western side of the house. The main room was to the northwest of me. A young woman spoke to the woman who was thinking of buying the house, telling her that the area felt haunted. I had thought the same thing, but i did not feel comfortable telling the woman who was going to buy the house about it. She then turned to be and asked what i thought about the haunted feeling. I thought about it and finally said that there was some kind of angry presence in the main room. The walls around us seemed gray, and there was something depressing about the house. The woman moved around to the north of me. She said that she did not think that she should raise her children in this place. She said that, if it were just she and her husband, she could probably live with the ghosts and not trigger any negative reactions in their presence, but children would create an uncertain aura. As the children grew up, their personalities would change, and it was unpredictable how they would affect the ghostly presence of the house. They might have the types of personalities to trigger angry or destructive actions. I looked around the empty and dingy rooms of the house, thinking now of the trailer park. The cats were outside, and i remembered seeing $X12 down in the small valley to the west, where the roads passed through the thin woods. I told the woman that i had seen $X12 walking on the road by the tennis court, realizing that it would seem more dangerous for $X12 to be walking there because there was no place for the cat to run if a car came down the road. The woman seemed disturbed by the information.

I walked to the east, across the pavement of the small parking lot. It was dark, and i was trying to find a spot that i could set up my tent. I looked to the south. The parking lot was on the top of a tall hill, and i could see out over the city in the valley. It was a wonderful view, and i thought that this would make a great place to set up the tent. I dragged the tent and a sleeping bag to the northeast, across the paved surface of the lot. I looked down at the dark ground, noticing that there were many small pebbles of broken asphalt on the old pavement. I knew that i had brought a sleeping pad, but i wondered if i should have a cushioning pad to go under the tent as well. I would have to go back to the west to grab the rest of my things for the tent once i had set it up. I thought that i did not really have all of my sleeping stuff with me. I stopped in front of the small light-coloured cinder-block building that was on the northern side of the lot. The building seemed to be a small lab of some kind. It was closed now, and i walked along the outer wall, looking at the ground for a nice place to set up the tent. There was a thick metal cement-filled pole coming out of the ground near the front of the building. It was painted light brown, and i thought that i could use it to tie the tent to. I wondered if i had to secure the other parts of the tent so that they did not blow away. My father said something about the tent as he stood with the other man to the west of me. I looked around the area, trying to figure out where i could tie the tent. The man then pointed out the gardens near the building. I looked to the west, along the front of the lab building, and noticed several thick white stalks growing up out of the ground. There seemed to be a wooden frame around the small garden. Several colourful plants were growing there, most of which seemed to be large mushrooms or fungi. I turned to the south, saying that we could set the tent up in the middle of the parking lot. The man pointed out that there were some gardens there as well. I looked at the tall plants in the garden in the center of the lot. They seemed like some kind of tropical fern, with a tall cylindrical yellow stalk and pale green shoots coming off the top. There was a crown of brown just below the shoots where older shoots had been attached. There were also several shorter bulbous plants that were yellowish white. Most of the area now seemed to have small gardens in it. To the north, the man said something as he placed a small plastic tray on the table, which was part of one of the gardens. The tray had remainders of lunch in it: some bits of light brown and a few red bulges, which seemed to be raspberries. Everything in the tray was covered with a gray film of mold. The man said that he was adding to the garden, and i realized that most of the garden was an experiment in fungi, so it was encouraged for people to add their own fungi to it.

12008 January 07

We were flying in the small airplane, heading to the west. It seemed that $A446 was flying the small plane over the shoreline. The land seemed to be to the south of us, and i watched the small off-shore island hills pass under us. The others seemed to be standing or sitting to the north of me as i stood facing south. I was near the western end of the group, who were all gathered in a small rectangular area that seemed to be the seats of the airplane. Out the window to the south, i noticed another airplane moving to the northwest under us. It was moving slowly, and seemed to have its nose tipped down. I knew that it was going to crash into the water, but it seemed to take a very long time for it to tip downward and descend to the water. As it did so, i noticed that the fuselage of the plane was very narrow, and the tail and wings rather wide but thin. He prop on the front of the plane also seemed to be oversized, and i realized that this must be a drone aircraft. The plane tipped downward and plunged into the water. I mentioned to $A446 that the plane had crashed, and he seemed surprised, so i clarified that it was a toy airplane. I looked out the windows to the south, noticing that there were several other toy planes flying over the tan beach. There were several rocky mounds sticking up from the water and the sandbar, but i could not really see much of the area. A red circular plane flew to the east along the beach. It was disk shaped, with a ridge running down the center for a fuselage. It had thin metal braces in a tripod under the plane for landing. A small white propeller pulled it forward. As we continued down the length of the beach, or over the dry land, i noticed several other toy airplanes flying, all of different designs. I then looked forward, realizing that we were driving in a slow convoy over the country land. The road ahead seemed to have dense green pine trees on either side. We were being escorted to a special meeting, and the people around me were sitting in a narrow row on the top of the old wagon. I looked ahead again as the wagon started to turn to the north, onto a narrow road, which appeared to be dirt. We were being escorted to a special meeting with the president. I looked at the rocks that i had been carrying in the small plastic bag. They were some type of special rock, but i wondered why i was taking them to the president. I looked up the hill ahead of the wagon, to the west. The horses seemed to be struggling to tow the wagon up the steep dirt hill. There was an old white farmhouse on the western side of the road, just ahead of us. Several tall trees shaded the yard around it. I leaned forward, toward the front of the wagon, and tried to see what the horses were doing. They seemed to be struggling to pull the cart up the hill, and they seemed to be sliding backward a little. All at once, the horses collapsed onto the ground and the wagon rolled backward about a metre before coming to a jolting stop. I looked down to see that the horses had turned into a pile of old bricks and spilled over the front edge of the wagon. I felt bad about this and pushed over some of the ashen-yellowish-red bricks with my left foot. I then turned around and started to take the stones out of the plastic bag that i had been carrying. They were rounded, as if water worn. Their surface was mostly dark gray, but they had small white and black flecks on them. There was something special about these rocks, and i knew that i was taking them to the president. I then wondered why i would be doing such a thing. I looked at the rocks as i tried to pile them back up on the ground in the corridor-like area. I thought that i was actually bringing them here to have them put into the national museum. I stood up in the hallway with the cream-coloured walls. There seemed to be a doorway to the southeast of me that led down another narrower corridor to the south. I turned to the west and headed down the country road. It was dark out now, and i had to head back to the apartment to return something. I was carrying the objects in my hand. I walked into the small crowded room of the city apartment. There were tall windows in the western wall that seemed to look out over the street. Streetlights shined in though the windows, lighting the room. I moved around between the furnishings. $A447 was there, and she seemed happy to see me. I realized that she had thought that i had come to visit her. I had really just come to return things to $A448, who, i knew, was not in the apartment. I did not wish to stay and chat, but i felt bad for $A447, because she was lonely and had been happy only because she thought that i was there to see here. She was upset when she realized that i had to leave, and she started to feel sorry for herself. I walked to the east, crossing the city street. As i started into the street, i noticed the man in the second-floor window of the old apartment building across the street. The building had a wooden exterior that seemed pseudo-gothic. It was painted dark green, and there was a round column room on the northwestern corner of the building, which seemed to be just to the northeast of me. Through the window of the building, i noticed the man sitting with his back to the window. He was working at his desk, which was on the eastern wall of the small bedroom. I remembered the man from before, and i thought that he was quite attractive. I remembered being in the room once before. It was an apartment of college men, and i had been there for a party in the past. I remembered the pale green room. As i approached the side of the building, i noticed the gray metal bar of the exercise equipment in front of the window. I was interested in the man who lived here and watched him through the window as i crossed the street. I then turned back to the west and crossed the street again so that i could get a better look at the man. I was aware of two other men moving across the windows on the lower floor of the apartment, but i focused on the man in the white T-shirt in the bedroom as i floated across the street again, drifting toward the second floor of the apartment. The man had a nice wide back as he sat doing his work. As i approached the building, i looked through the window, which was facing southwest, on the southern side of the rounded column on the corner of the building. Once the man was out of view, i looked forward, passing through another window of the house. I came into the corridor. I had to pretend that this was my destination, otherwise it would seem strange that i had headed directly toward the building and not gone in. The door to the man’s room was just to the north of me. Just beyond it, there was a steep stairway leading down to the main floor of the house. The corridor continued to the southeast of me, where there were a few more bedrooms. I knew that there were other men in the house, so i thought that i should leave before someone asked questions. I turned to head down the stairs, noticing the blue wooden pull-up bar that was across the top of the stairs. I followed the stairs down into the narrow living room at the front of the building. The stairs ended near the front door. I looked to the southeast as i opened the door to go out. There were two men in the kitchen, which was on the other side of the living room. They were both facing away from me. Neither of them were wearing shirts, and i could tell that they were both very nicely built, with wide V-shaped backs. They had mixed themselves some drinks, and i knew that they were drinking protein shakes after their workouts. I watched them for a moment, but knew that it would be awkward if they spotted me in their house, so i stepped out the front door and pulled it closed after me. I did this quietly, but i did not manage to pull the white wooden door all the way closed. It did not latch, and it started to swing open, back into the house, again. I felt annoyed and stepped back into the house to grab the door by the knob and pull it shut. I wondered if the men would see me. I thought that i would have to tell them i was just here for a moment, but i knew that i would not explain why i was here. I pulled the door closed, trying to get the latch to catch.

12008 January 09

I was on the stage with the band, and they were playing music. I looked across the stage from the back to see some of the audience to the north of us. I felt uncomfortable here. I was playing guitar with Led Zeppelin, but i did not really know any of the songs that they were playing. I remembered doing the songs better before, but, right now, i could not recognize the music that they were playing. The song started out slowly, and i could hear the part that the other guitarist was playing, but i did not know what it was. I tried to play some chords, but they seemed out of rhythm. I felt bad and turned the volume down on my guitar so that it could not be heard. I tried to play the chords again, but i did not know what the song was. Suddenly, the musician stops the show and walks across the stage in front of me, heading from east to west. He seemed upset. The lights seemed to dim, and the music stopped. Slash, who had been standing on the eastern side of the stage, walked up to me. He tried to console me, but i told him that i did not really do a good job. I said that i was simply not practiced enough to play with them. I felt very bad.

I walked into the large bedroom on the south side of the building. This place seemed like some sort of camp, and the bedroom was big enough to sleep many people in the various bunk beds that lined the walls. I had to use a toilet, and i looked around for one that was private. There was a small bathroom in the western wall of the room. I walked into it as the other people came into the bedroom. A woman and some children were behind me as i walked into the bathroom and closed the door. I started to lock the door, but one of the children was trying to open it behind me. I held onto the door knob and kept turning the lock closed so that the children could not get in. as soon as they stopped playing with the knob, i turned around to use one of the toilets in the bathroom, but i noticed that there was a young boy already wandering around in the bathroom. He had sneaked in, and i was annoyed that he was here. I would not be able to use the toilet because he would be trying to use it. I walked back out into the large bedroom, looking around for another toilet. There were several toilet stalls around the room. I knew that there were several in the eastern wall, but i remembered that some of them were unclean and i did not want to use them. There was one off the southern end of the eastern wall that did not have a working sink, so i did not want to use it. I decided to use the toilets that were set into the wooden bench that ran along the northern wall. I walked toward it, but, as i got near to the toilets, the small boy who had been in the other bathroom sat down on the toilet. He first sat near the western end of the bench, but, as i moved to the east to sit in one of the other toilets there, he shifted over so that he was in my way. He did not seem to be getting in my way deliberately, but i could tell that he wanted to be wherever i was. I felt annoyed with him and complained, scolding him by saying that he should make up his mind. I walked back into the center of the room and looked around. There was a small plastic shed against the eastern wall that looked like a small greenhouse or shower booth with a tinted plastic door. This was the one in the women’s section of the room. I thought that there was no sink in there, but i decided that i could use the toilet anyway. I walked into the small glass room and closed the door behind me. There were two stalls on the southern end of the enclosure, and i walked to the one on the western side. Everything in the booth seemed very nice and clean, with decorations. The towels were folded nicely and there seemed to be lacy ornaments around the room. I hoped that i did not smell too much when i defecated, because i did not want to mess up the women’s area too much. I opened the lid of the toilet and noticed that there were triangles of black and red lace around the sides of the toilet bowl, and a few pieces of lace in the water of the bowl. I felt a little unsure about thin, wondering if i should take them out, but then i decided that they were meant to be left in. I would use the toilet as it was, so i started to sit down.

12008 January 11

I had been walking through the large room where the others were eating breakfast or lunch. It seemed that i was at some kind of conference, and i felt good here. I ran into the woman in the center of the room and started talking with her. I recognized her and realized that she was Laurie Anderson. I was interested in talking to her and felt surprised to see her here. As i spoke to her, i noticed that she looked quite different off stage. She looked much older, and her face seemed rounder. She had wavy straight gray hair, and her face seemed to sag around her chin. I thought that this is what she looked like without makeup. I then realized that the makeup might make her face look younger, but it would not make it look thinner. She had a very thin face on stage. I spoke to her some more, noticing that there was a paler section of skin under the left side of her mouth. It was thumb-nail shaped and seemed to sag more than the other skin. This seemed strange.

12008 January 12

I walked into the door on the northern side of the house. The house seemed small, and i came into a short corridor that had a washer and dryer on the eastern wall. This place seemed to be my parents’ house, and i had come here after a long bicycle ride with several other people. The ride seemed like a race, but i did not feel that i had competed in anything. I turned to the east and walked into the room on the north side of the corridor, immediately to the west of the short entry hall i had come down. The room seemed to be a bedroom. I was gathering things while the others gathered outside. There seemed to be a set of stairs leading up to the west just to the south of the entry corridor, and a corridor leading to the west down the first floor. I wanted to arrange things here, but i was worried that my parents’ might not like having so many people in their house. I knew that it would be good that they were outside gathering for the event. My parents’ would probably not like so many people coming into the house. I hoped that not to many of them did. I felt that the main group of bikers was to the northwest of the house, rear a shed or barn. $A34 was in the house as i collected some things from the small bedroom. I said something to him and then motioned him out the door to the north. My mother was upstairs still, and she did not know that $G4 had come to the house. My mother was then on the stairs to the southwest, asking something. I assured her that everything was all right and that the people would not be coming into the house too much. I then noticed the young man in the bathtub to the west. The door to the small blue tiled bathroom was open, and the surprised man looked back out at us from the white footed tub. He had short red hair and a young freckled face. I was annoyed that he had left the door open, so i pulled the white wooden door closed and said something else to my mother. I then turned and headed back down the stairs to the main floor. I had to fix things so that the people would not be a bother to my parents.

I looked to the east, down the corridor in the old library building. There seemed to be steel I-beams supporting the ceiling at regular intervals. Behind the I-beams, to the south of the corridor, were metal shelves of books. They appeared to be old, and seemed to be painted with silver paint. There was a set of switches on the end of one of the set of shelves. They seemed like old metal leaver switches, and i flipped some of them on. They kept popping back down. I knew that they ran the pumps in the room to the east, so it was important that they stayed turned on. I flipped the switches back on a few times to keep the pumps running. I then imagined that i was on a large ship. The metal walls around me looked like bulkheads, with steel girders arching over the southern wall for support. As i flipped the switches, i could hear the pumps start in the room to the east. The design of the walls reminded me of Battlestar Galactica, and i imagined that the ship was under attack. I then realized that if the attack was in space, then a breach in the hull would remove oxygen from the large pump room to the east. This seemed like a strange idea. I walked to the east, through the metal rooms. I then noticed the large talking plant to the south of me. I backed to the north, into the alcove that was to the east of the large glass room. I remembered this scene from somewhere before. The plant was actually threatening the people here. The others stood to the southeast of me, listening to what the cone-shaped head on the long green stalk of the plant was saying. I had seen this scene before, and knew that the plant would be dangerous. It would start killing people soon. I watched the head of the dragon as it lifted above the people. There was something different about the speech that the dragon was saying. It was similar to the last time i had seen it, but the dragon was using harsher language. This version of the television show was less family friendly that the last one. I mentioned this to the man near me. I then ran into the glass room to the southwest. The door was on the eastern end of the northern wall of the room. The room looked like a small greenhouse that had been placed within the larger glass-roofed room. The dragon would start attacking soon, and i wanted to be safe, but the dragon ate the people to the east and then turned to look at me through the dirty glass of the ceiling of the room. I wondered if he could get in. I felt that i should be safe here because the dragon did not notice the person in here last time. I then felt slightly unsafe as the dragon craned its neck and moved closer to the glass, to get a better look at me. I imagined that i could electrify the metal frame around the room. This might stop the dragon.

12008 January 13

I was at $P19 again. It had been a long time since i had been here, and i felt that i was too old to be living in this place. I walked down the hall to the north. There seemed to be rooms on either side of the wide corridor, and the corridor opened into a larger room to the north of me. I adjusted the orange cowboy hat on my head. It looked like a strange hat, but i thought that it would help cover up the fact that i was loosing the hair on my head. I walked out into the main hall of the building, coming from the room to the east. I turned to the north. The hall opened up into a room to the north, and there were several people standing around. They were all much younger than i, and i felt too old to be here. I started to feel self conscious about the hat, wondering if people would think it out of place. If they asked about the hat, i would tell them that i got it from $G4. They knew that i was part of $G4, and they knew how strange the people there were, so it would make sense that i would have gotten such a silly hat from there.

I followed the people down the hall, to the west. They were going into the bedroom to speak with the others. I followed the two of them into the small room to the north. They suddenly realized that they were interrupting the two people who were in the room, lying on the bed to the west of the door. $F55 and $F56 were on the bed copulating. $F55 was reclined on the bed, wearing a long white sarong over his legs, and $F56 seemed to be under the sarong. I could see her struggling to pull her upper body out from the skirt as she realized the others were in the room. I felt bad for interrupting and left the room. I looked down suddenly, in the small room, noticing the cats that were walking around in the old room, which seemed like a kitchen. There seemed to be many cats in this house, of all ages. Several kittens hopped across the floor in front of me. I then dropped the carrot that i had been chewing on. A white kitten with black spots hopped out from behind the counter to the northeast of me and grabbed the carrot, trapping it with its paw and biting into the top of it. $X11 was standing to the east of me, and she had seen what the kitten was playing with. I knew that she would be jealous and watched to see what she would do. She lowered her head for a moment, stalking the kitten. Then she lunged for the kitten, grabbing part of the carrot in her mouth and running back to the east with it. She ran under the counter.

12008 January 14

I felt sleepy and leaned back against the southern wall of the room. I was in a cafe, which seemed to be the front atrium of a shopping center or student center. The floor and walls were made of white stone. The northern wall was made of glass, and looked outside. There was a doorway on the northern end of the western wall, and the doorway to a store in the center of the southern wall. I felt as though i was nodding off periodically here, waking up from time to time to see the changes in the people around me. I suddenly decided that i should get up and leave here. I looked around, noticing the people moving through the white atrium. I was standing against the western end of the southern wall, on a narrow balcony a few metres from the ground. There was a thin black metal railing around the edge of the balcony. I started to gather my things, realizing that it was already after eight o’clock. I had already missed my class, and i felt bad about it. I looked around at the other college students moving through the small round tables of the cafeteria. The store behind me, to the south, seemed to be a bookstore. I looked around cautiously at the people, still trying to wake up. A young oriental man with a long smooth face sat to the north of me, on the northern side of one of the tables against the western wall. He was reclined slightly in the black metal chair as he looked into the room. He wore a clean white long-sleeve dress shirt that he started unbuttoning. He was trying to be seductive to other students in the room by showing off his well detailed body. I gathered my things from the floor near me, hoping that i was not embarrassing myself as i slept. I glanced at the attractive features of the man’s chest as he opened up his shirt, and i continued to pick up my things. I knew that the man would not be interested in someone like me, so i turned to the south and stepped across the bookstore, eventually heading to the north and exiting the building. I came into a small empty courtyard that was surrounded by tall brick buildings. It seemed cold out, as though it was early winter and all the plants had dried up. I was holding the garden hose that i had picked up from the western side of the entrance. The alley ran across the northern side of the courtyard, heading east and west from the square. I dragged the hose toward the western exit. The man who had been coiling up some of the hoses said that they would reach the apartments. As i tugged the hose down the street and turned up an alley to the north, i wondered if the hose would actually reach our house. The house seemed to be about eighty metres away, on the western side of the street. I pulled the hose all the way and walked into the small house of the city area. The house seemed more like a rental cottage than an apartment. I crossed the house and come into the bedroom at the northwestern corner of the building. I was sleepy and wanted to take a nap.

12008 January 15

I wandered through the upper floor of $P7, talking with $Z about the situation. There was something that we had to go do, but i was not interested in doing it. Someone wanted us to do this thing, but i did not feel like spending the time on it. I headed down the stairs, which descended along the western wall of the room, going down to the south. The staircase turned to the east at the southern wall of the large atrium and descended to the lower floor of the lobby. $Z followed me down the stairs. I noticed $A53 and $A153 on the lower section of stairs, and i stopped to speak to them. They were descending as well, but stopped and turned around to talk to me. I mentioned the thing that we were supposed to be doing, and they said that they were not so interested in doing it either. I decided that i wanted to leave this place and not worry about the thing that we were supposed to be doing. I walked across the lobby, heading to the southeast. There were people gathered here around the long cafeteria tables. The southern wall of the lobby was made of glass, with tall metal supporting frames. As we rounded the southwestern corner of one of the picnic tables and turned to the east, to head for the exit door, i was looking at the newspaper i had in my left hand. There was something in the newspaper that seemed interesting, and seemed related to the thing that we were supposed to be doing. There was a young man sitting on the southern side of the table, his legs resting on the bench below. He smiled at me as i passed, and asked me for the newspaper. I was finished reading it, but i did not give it to him right away. I handed it to him, but then pulled it back when he tried to grab it. I made a joke about not wanting to give up the paper. It did not seem that this man was a friend of mine, but i recognized him and knew that he was one of the school’s wrestlers. He was rather attractive, having a wide face and high cheekbones. He had chin-length curly brown hair. He smiled very nicely at me as i handed him back the paper and let him take it. I then felt that i was flirting with the man because i did not really know him that well. I continued to the door, which $F45 was now holding open for me. I had been following $F45 out of the building. As we exited, i talked to $F45 about the man. I said that i thought that he was cute.

I had woken up early and was now lying in bed. The bed was against the eastern wall of the small white room. I knew that i should be doing something, but i did not feel like getting out of bed. I looked to the west, noticing that $F12 was in bed with me. I knew that he was here simply to sleep, and that there was no sexual relations between us. I felt comforted to have him in the bed with me. I joked with him about something, and then started to get dressed. There were people to the northwest of us, in the next room. We had to get dressed and leave the apartment to do something.

12008 January 16

I moved around near the side of my parents’ house, where the basement door was. Some people were on the lawn to the north of me. They seemed to be $A135 and $A26. I felt good chatting with them as $A135 sat in a lawn chair on the slope of the hill to the west of the house, but something felt wrong. There was a woman there who seemed to be telling me what to do. She was running this house, and i did not want to listen to her. I felt upset and ignored what she was saying as i looked to the west, down the slope of the roof. I was now standing on the roof of the house, and the woman was to the northeast of me, in a lawn chair. She had ordered me to get something, and i thought that i could shock her by jumping off of the roof. I knew that i could fly, and i remembered floating back and forth from the ground to the roof previously. I would have to float up from the roof first, though, to make sure that i could still fly before i jumped off the tall part of the room and floated down to the western side of the house, where the table was. I turned back to the house, which was to the east of me, and thought about ordering lemonade from the stand in the small dirt drive that led into the side of the house. $A135 seemed to be on the side of the house, and it was good to see here, but something was distracting me. I looked to the north to see the creek running under the road that i was standing on. The ground on either side of the creek was covered with snow and had no trees or shrubs. The brown water of the creek was smooth, but i could tell that it was flowing toward me quickly. My parents’ house was to the northeast now, and my father said something to me from the east. I looked back at the creek, noticing that the water was rather high. I mentioned this to my father. He said that the snow from the slopes was sliding into the creek. I noticed that the bottom part of the eastern slope was bare, and told him that some of the snow seems to have rolled into the stream. He agreed, saying that the sliding snow tends to break off the trimming on the roof. I was confused for a moment, thinking that the creek was too far away from the house to cause any damage to the roof of the house. I then remembered that there was a small shed by the water and i asked my father “You mean the pump house?”. He said yes. I started to ask him a question, but there was loud music that started, and i could not hear his reply. I looked at him. He stood to the southeast of me, on the other side of the road from the house. The music was coming from a house across the field, which i thought was on the other road. I could see the front deck of the modern brown house clearly. There was a man fooling around with something that looked like a small black speaker. The volume dimmed a little as the glass door of the house closed behind the man, but increased again as he put the speaker onto the ground. I listened to the classical music for a moment. The house was much closer than it had originally seemed. It was now in the middle of the filed on the other side of the road. It must have been a new house. I tried to say something to my father, but the music was still too loud to hear anything. All of the sudden, my father turned around and started yelling at the man, telling him to turn off the music. He threw his beer can at the porch and ran toward the house. The wife, who had come out of the house behind the man, gasped in shock as my father ran toward the porch. I was surprised at my father’s reaction. It was very unlike him. He seemed manic, screaming at the man. I tried not to notice the situation, feeling embarrassed. I looked back to the north. I was still standing in the road to the south of my parents’ house, and there were now cars parked along the northern side of the road. The car in front of me looked like a large dark-red station wagon from the early 11970s. The man who had been at the house was now approaching me, but i did not want to talk to him. I felt bad about my father throwing a fit. I moved toward the northern wall of the white corridor. Thinking that i should leave the area. I moved to the south, heading into the small elevator on the southern side of the hospital-like building. The elevator was cramped and barely fit one person. I pressed the button on the eastern wall and it lifted one floor. The elevator seemed more like a dumbwaiter, and i started to feel uncomfortable in it. I stepped out of the door on the top floor, and then stepped back in. I wanted to practice getting out of the elevator. After i got in, i hit the top-most black lever on the eastern wall with my foot and the elevator jerked upward. For a moment, i was afraid that i would be pressed down by the ceiling above, but the elevator did not move far enough for me to be hurt. I stepped out as the door opened. I was annoyed with myself for hitting the button, because i realized that i could have stopped at the floor below and still opened the door to get out. The floor below actually aligned the elevator with the door, so it would have been better. I stepped out of the elevator and headed to the north.

12008 January 18

I stood with the crowd on the eastern side of the street in what appeared to be a small-city area. The people around me seemed to be band members from a local music festival. I knew several of them, and felt comfortable here. My attention was then drawn to a couple that was walking along the western side of the street, approaching from the north. We seemed to be on $P129, near the parking lot. The people with me pointed out the couple, and said that they were not good people. Several others said that they did not like the man and woman. I wondered what was wrong with the man and woman that the people did not like them. The band members mentioned the people by name. I did not recognize the man and woman, and started to feel curious about them. $F41 was then just to the north of me. He had just arrived, and he told me about the people as well. He thought that they were not good people either. I told him that i did not know who they were. I felt uncertain about what was happening. I turned to the southwest and headed back to the wooden structure that was part of the festival grounds. The structure seemed like an old barn with no walls. It was made of bare wood that had been heavily weather worn. I walked into the western end of the structure. This was where i had been working for the music festival, but this part of the festival had not been too popular this year. I looked around at the inside of the barn. The uneven floor was made of packed dry dirt, and there were patches of old hay scattered around. There were red wooden gates running east to west across the room, separating the room into long aisles. These gates should have been taken out for the festival because they blocked the dance floor. I thought that we should have requested that the owner remove the fences before we started the festival here. As i walked slowly to the east, looking at the empty area, i realized that it would have caused a big argument with the owner to have the fences removed. I pushed some of the hay to the side with my foot as i walked across the floor. I came to the eastern end of the bark and pushed open the large barn doors. I had to fix this place up a little so that it was not a total loss to the festival. As i opened the doors, three young dark-skinned boys in dark suits and white shirts came running into the barn. I felt weary of them, thinking that they were trying to close the doors just to be obnoxious. I continued to the east as the boys ran into the barn. I was annoyed with them, but did not feel like dealing with their rebellious attitudes.

12008 January 20

I was facing north, but i turned to the east as the young man approached me. The field around me had dry broken corn stalks lined in rows east to west in the dry dirt. The sky was bright, and it seemed very warm out. The man felt very friendly, and he asked me if he could sleep the night at my place. I realized that i did not know him and wondered if i could trust him, but something about him felt very nice, so i said “Sure.”. I was still a little uncomfortable about letting him stay in my house, but i thought that there was not very much he could do. I would simply have to make sure all of my valuable things were safe in case he tried to take them. The man was a little shorter than i, and seemed to have rounded features. He could tell that i was a little unsure about letting him stay, so he said that he would sleep with me as trade for staying in the room for the night. I felt suddenly uncomfortable, and told him that he would not have to sleep with me. He stood to the north of me now, in a brown long-sleeve T-shirt. He had a rounded face and short straight dark-blond hair. He seemed somewhat attractive, though a little out of shape. There was something very sweet about him. We agreed that he would be able to stay, and i headed to the east, saying that i had to get some things done. I thought about the class work that i had to do as i approached the street. I was at an intersection where a road from the east came into the main north-to-south road that i was about to cross. I had been thinking about letting the man stay the night. I was still uncertain about it, but i had already told him that it would be okay, so he was going to show up later. I had already told $F45 that someone would be staying over. I wondered how i would tell him that i had only met this man a little while ago. $F45 would be uncomfortable with a stranger like that. I could tell him that i had been chatting with this man for a while, but he would find out that i had just met him. There also seemed to be someone else that would be staying at my house. It seemed like a friend of mine. I wondered if the two people could be confused with each other. As i walked across the street to the southeast corner of the intersection, i noticed a man walking to the west, on the northern side of the street from me. He had short light-blond hair and a sharp jaw. He noticed me and started to come over to talk. At first, he seemed like the friend of mine that was going to stay with me, but i realized that he was really the young man i had just met. He was on his way back to my house. He was not wearing a shirt as he turned to look at me, and i noticed that he was actually nicely built. He was more attractive that i had thought he was. We spoke in the middle of the intersection, and i thought about the things that i had to get done before the evening. He told me about what he was doing, and showed me a small white business card. It had the date “June 25, 2005” printed in the center of it. There was something significant to that date.

12008 January 22

I was jogging quickly to the west, over the broken and crumbling pavement of the park trail. The tail ran up the eastern side of the steep hill, with small steps every once and a while. There were trees and bushes on both sides of me, thought the land seemed to slope down steeply to the south toward the main valley of the park. Runners were coming from the opposite direction every once and a while. I passed over the narrow rounded peak of the hill and started back down the steep slope of the other side. The path leading down to the west had similar stairs to the eastern side. The stairs had cement beams along the front of each step, with worn blacktop covering the flat part. I was careful as i jogged down the steps, trying not to move too fast. The hill was very long, and i did not want to get hurt. I noticed some of the runners passing me from the other direction. I also noticed that there were small patches of what looked like a red powder on the ground every few steeps. I wondered if there runners were following a trail, and i wondered if they were part of $G4. As i approached a female jogger, who was coming up the hill in a light-red sweatshirt and black stretch pants, i called out “On on”. I wanted to see if she reacted to the call, but she did not seem to respond. I was still not sure if she was with $G4 or not. If she was, she should have known what the call meant and acknowledged me. I continued running to the west once i reached the bottom of the hill. The trees around me seemed to be tall and green, and the sun seemed to be shining from low in the northwest sky.

I stopped my car on the southern shoulder of the road, just before the driveway, which wound up the hill to the south. There was snow on the open ground, but most of the area around me seemed to be thin forest. To the east of me was a dark-blue car, parked with its front facing me. It was my mother’s car, and i noticed that she had parked it close enough to the entrance of the driveway that it was on top of a skinny shrub. The shrub had only a few long shoots of branches reaching up through the snow, but the front of the car was over them. I felt annoyed, not wanting to damage the bush. I backed my mother’s car to the east and tired to turn it around. I pulled it out of the driveway and tried to park it on the shoulder of the road just to the east of the driveway. As i pulled it to the south, i wondered how far i could go before i started to sink in the deep snow. I did not know how wide the shoulder of the road really was. I then thought that i felt the tires sliding in the snow, pulling the car toward the ditch. I did not want to get the car stuck, so i pulled it forward a little. I stopped and looked at the back of the car, thinking that it was still in the road too much and not on the shoulder enough. The tire tracks behind the car seemed to have skids in them, as if the tires were having a hard time getting traction. I did not want the car to get any further in the snow, so i decided that it would be okay to leave it here.

I headed to the east. I was uncertain about the area around me, but there seemed to be an open field ahead. I was thinking about something and feeling that something emotional was missing. I remembered feeling something before, but i could not get the same feeling again. This distressed me a little. I wanted to feel the happy feeling again. I then started muttering “give it back”. It seemed to be a lyric that repeated several times, but it was not from a song that i knew. I then realized that this feeling is what $F43 must be feeling all the time. It was the feeling that one could not get back the happiness and serenity that was there before. I started to feel tense, wanting to reclaim that good part but frustrated that i could not. I kept repeating the lyric. It was a good lyric, and i thought that i should write it into a song. I thought that it would not be part of one of my old songs, because $F43 would know what the song was about and would realize it was of a later time than my old songs. She would also know that the song somehow related to her and $F44. I repeated the lyric again, singing it as if screaming. I realized that it reminded me of the song “When the Leave Breaks” by Led Zeppelin. This disappointed me for a moment because i thought that i could not use the lyric without it being related to Led Zeppelin. As i sang it, however, i realized that the melody and words were different enough. It was not that closely related to the older song. I could use it for my song.

12008 January 23

I was in the forest when the men came to capture me. The ground was covered with pale coloured leaves, and the trees seemed thin and bare. I pushed myself from the men and ran to the north, rounding a large thick tree so that they could not hit me with their bullets. They started to shoot at me, and i stayed in the shadow of the tree. I stumbled to the north, hoping that i could find other trees to run behind, but there seemed to be a large open space to the north of the tree. I turned around and looked at the tree. I had pistols in both of my hands, and i started firing at the sides of the tree, hoping to stop the men from rounding the tree to take a shot at me. I backed away to the north, wishing i really had guns to shoot back, but i was just holding my hands up. I was surprised that the men were not following me or shooting at me. I turned around to the north, noticing the row of roughly square panels on the ground. I grabbed one of them to pull myself forward, and the red emergency handle lifted slightly. There was a row of flaps on the ground, and they all seemed to lift together as i pulled on the one. The row ran from north to south. It was some type of alarm system. I read the labels on the flat painted metal leavers. They mentioned reactor conditions, and i knew that they related to the atomic reactor. The leavers on the southern end were the least sever conditions, talking about leaks and contaminated reactor. As the panel ran to the north, the warnings got more sever, mentioning meltdown and reactor explosion. The last leaver on the north seemed too dangerous for what was happening now. I still felt very tense about the people following me. I pulled the second panel from the end up, but nothing really seemed to happen. I then noticed the socket under the panel that i had lifted. I would have to plug in the reel-to-reel tape recorder to get the warning speakers to work. This was a very old system and used the old equipment. I searched the ground around me for the correct type of plug. There were many quarter-inch speaker plugs, but i needed the right one. I looked at a short blue one that looked like a patch chord. There were several others coiled around me on the ground. I started to feel uncomfortable here, remembering that the men were still in the woods and would be looking for the young girl. I looked to the north. There was now a stone cliff rising sharply just to the north of me. Several metal girders held up the rock at the bottom of the cliff, where a walkway had been partly cut into the stone. The men were to the east of me, and i watched the young girl stand for a moment on the cement path that connected to the cement path that ran along the bottom of the cliff. She was scared and did not know what to do. We heard the sounds of the men coming from the east, and i remembered this from some movie before. The girl ran to the north and hid in one of the large girders. The girder was I-shaped, with one of the wide ends embedded in the wall. I pushed myself into the space between the wall and the other wide end. It hid me from sight of anyone walking down the corridor. I was doing what the girl would be doing in the movie because the men would not find her. After a moment, i ran to the south. I came to a small clearing in the dense green forest where stone ruins of a building stood. I had seen these ruins before, but they were different now. There was a small obelisk or square pillar standing alone in the area, just to the east of a broken section of wall. The stone of the wall and obelisk was yellowish tan. The other person stood to the south of the pillar, examining it. It was different now. He tipped the obelisk to the side, and i could see that the wooden piece had been removed from the center of it, leaving a space about two-thirds of the way up the small tapering column. The faces of the column seemed to be carved with decorations that looked Mayan or Incan. I realized that the new opening in the face exposed a secret to the column. There was some kind of mechanism within the column. A crank lay on the ground near the base, and i could see the square socket where the obelisk had fit into the ground. The man had tipped the obelisk to the southeast as we inspected it. I told the others that the obelisk was really a transmission and we could piece it back together and plug in it. I felt that it would reveal something special, but the others did not seem enthusiastic about the idea. I wanted to do something, but they did not seem curious or interested.

12008 January 24

I walked into the television room of my grandfather’s house on $P12. My father was standing to the south of me, in the living room, and he had told me to look at the books in the house in case there was anything i wanted to save. There were many books on the shelves along the northern wall of the television room, but i knew that most of the interesting books were upstairs. I turned around to look at my father, who was still talking on the cell phone with someone that seemed to be my grandfather. I headed up the stairs as my father mentioned the books again. I looked at the books on the shelves at the top of the stairs. These were the books that i did not want to leave behind. I felt uneasy about just taking the books, but i did not want the m to get lost. I then remembered that my grandfather was dead. We had to clean out all of these books, but something still disturbed me about taking books that were not in the television room.

12008 January 25

The cat had died, and i felt upset about it. I stood in a small room, and two cats walked near my feet. They seemed to be $X4 and $X5. Someone said that $X5 had died. I knew that they had been left here. The man said that the cat had been found frozen under the car. It had died of exposure to the cold. I wondered how it had gotten outside, and i realized that it had been left alone. I was mad that the cat got out, but i kept thinking about what it would feel like to slowly freeze to death. It seemed a hopeless pain, and i was upset that no one was here to comfort the cat as it died. I wanted to be here. The man said that $X5 had died. I then looked down at the other cat wandering around the small space near my feet. It seemed to be $X12. I wondered if $X5 really died, or whether the tortoise-shell tabby was really $X11. I knew that it was $X11 who had died.

The door of the house, which was to the east of me, opened, and the small gray kitten ran out. $K3 had let her out by mistake. I felt upset and turned to the south to see the kitten run under the SUV, which was parked in the driveway. There were people in the gravel driveway, which was to the west of the house. They were loading their things into the vehicle to leave. I tried to get the kitten, but someone was already reaching under the car ahead of me. The kitten got scared and ran to the south, down the driveway and into the road. A dark-gray van came from the west and came to a sudden stop. I was worried that the car would hit the kitten, but the kitten ran to the east, down the road. The van continued after it. I was very upset, and i told the people in the driveway that the kitten had been let out. I said that it had run into the road and ended up running under the van. The van did not run over it, but it almost did. I crossed the road and search the dry yellow field grass across the street for the kitten. The field was large, and i could not see the cat among the weeds. $K1 was then to the north of me. She had come to say goodbye, but asked why i was here. I told her about the kitten. I almost said that $K3 had let her out, but i simply said that someone had let her out as $K3 approached from the north. I did not want her to feel bad, even though i was very upset. I turned to the east and walked back into the apartment, closing the complicated door behind me. I then looked out the window to the south. There was an oval grassy median in the road below us, and i noticed the silhouette of the kitten on the edge of the median. I wanted to go down to get it before it got away again. I went back to the northern side of the room and turned to the west, pulling the objects out of the way of the door. There seemed to be two walls running parallel to each other, and there were several white objects between them. I pulled the small refrigerator out of the way, trying to quickly open the door. There were too many locks and strange things on the door, and it seemed to be hidden in the wall to the west. This seemed strange. I did not understand why the door to the apartment would have to be so complicated.

12008 January 26

We were in the car, traveling to the south. The man was driving us, and he said something upsetting. I thought that he might be trying to rob us, but i was distracted by a noise. The man kept telling me something, but i was distracted and looked to the roof, thinking that something had happened to the car. I then noticed the large tan animal clinging to the tree just to the southwest of the vehicle. As we passed, i though that it looked like a koala bear, but it seemed more menacing, as though it was a feline. It seemed to be hanging with its head down, and i realized that it looked like a kangaroo. I knew that kangaroos did not climb trees, though, so i said that it was some other kind of related marsupial. As we passed the animal, i watched it cling to the metal tent post. The tent ran to the west of us. It had a light-tan canvas over the top. There now seemed to be a building to the south of us, and the tent was attached to the northern side of the building. Through the back window of the hatchback car, i watched the kangaroo climb from the post to the top of the car. It was out of sight now, on the roof. The man kept trying to get my attention, but he was also distracted by the animal on the roof of the car. He started to say something to me again, but i heard the sound of water. I looked up at the roof of the car, wondering if the kangaroo was urinating on the top of the car. I could not see through the moonroof, so i pulled the visor back. I could see the face of the kangaroo as it chewed on something and stared down at us.

I was in $K28’s blue pick-up truck as it rolled slowly down $P1, to the east. I was in the cab of black leather interior, trying to control the truck, but it did not have a steering wheel. It rolled slowly down the slope of the street, and i tried to keep it going in a straight line. I felt stressed about the situation. As we reached the intersection with the avenue, the truck turned to the south, down the other road. I was worried that it would crash into an oncoming car, but there was nothing i could do to control it any better. It then seemed to turn around, and i tried to get more control of it. I walked to the east, toward the shed. The man was walking along the northern side of the small shed with a crowbar. He had to fix something. I remembered being here before. I had broken panel of the shed’s back wall sometime before and had repaired it crudely with wood. I was worried that the man would notice the damage and be angry with us fro breaking into the shed. He looked over the window, where the panels were set into the vertical supports. I felt bad for covering up the damage before. The man did not seem to notice, though. He used the crowbar to remove a covering of wood, exposing the patch that we had made, but he did not seem to be upset by the patched wood. He was now tearing apart the window, and it did not seem to matter that it had been previously damaged. I guessed that the man was not really thinking about the condition of the wood that he was tearing out.

I was with $F45 as we stood to the east of the bus. The bus was loading, but we were not sure whether we should be getting on. The woman was talking about the people that were on the bus. She said something about virgins, and realized that we had not copulated in the traditional way. “So you’re not really virgins?”, she asked. I knew that we had copulated and were not virgins, but it seemed the correct term for us in this context. I backed away from the bus, not wanting to be part of this crowd. The woman persisted in her questioning, and i was not sure what to say. I made a joke about how one becomes a virgin, asking her if she really expected us to become virgins. I said “What, do we have to put a penis up your arse?” as i started to wander to the northeast. I chuckled at this.

12008 January 27

I jogged through the woods, heading to he west. I felt a little uncomfortable here. I crossed the small bedroom on the second floor of the old house and looked out the western window. I was thinking about someone who seemed to be following me. The forest outside the window seemed dark and damp, as though it was evening in late winter. I looked at he tall tudor-style house next door, to the southwest of where i was. It had white plaster walls with dark-brown beams and roof. I could see the people on the balcony in the center of the eastern side of the house. The balcony was set into the roof a little, and seemed to be over the top of part of the house. There was something displeasing about the people there, and i felt that i had to be cautious of them. They reclined in chairs on the deck, and seemed grungy and primitive. They also seemed to have an orange colour to them. I did not want them to see me here. I moved again to the west, crossing the room on the second floor of the house. I was now moving through the forest. I thought about $G4 and thought that i should set part of a trail for them. The trees around me seemed unnaturally dark, and i was thinking about how i could set a trail for $G4. I thought that i should make some kind of a clue. I thought i could tell $G4 that they should be looking for Calvin in the rearview mirror. I knew that there was someone from $G4 name Calvin, so they might think of that first. I would have to get a mirror and put the name on it, though. I then thought that i could simply find one of the stickers portraying Calvin from Calvin and Hobbs and stick it to a mirror. I could see the small rectangular mirror with rounded corners to the west of me as i passed along the southern side of a small trailer. There seemed to be junk in the yard to the south of me. I was excited thinking about the picture on the mirror. It would be a good pun for $G4. I wondered if i could attach the small rearview mirror to the side of the house so that $G4 could see it. I then came to the top of the hill in the woods behind my parents’ house. There was a stack of boxes or crates on the ground in the center of the old road. I walked to the north of the pile, noticing that there were a few of the boxes that had been opened to the west of the pile. I stood to the northeast of the opened boxes, noticing that there was a warning on the sides of the large cans. The cartons were roughly rectangular, looking like old fuel cans. They were painted red on the bottom and blue on the top, with a white angular slash running across the center. The colours seemed dull, as thought the containers were fairly old. They had brand names in the center of the white area, as well as a warning. The boxes scattered on the ground seemed to say that the contents were dangerous and contaminating. I wondered why they would be spread through the woods. I then looked at the stack of cans to the south of me, thinking that these must be the fuel cans my father brought over. I wondered why they were here and what would happen to the forest if they were dumped. They seemed quite toxic. I backed away from the window a little when i heard a dog bark to the north. I looked northward, along the wall of the house. The white and brown dog had been sleeping on the ground just to the north of the trailer. I moved to the center of the empty trailer and made a sudden movement, shaking the trailer. I knew that it would attract the dog’s attention. I then realized that i should not have teased the dog, because it would now come to investigate the trailer, and i would not be able to get out the open southern end. I wondered what i should do. The dog had been guarding the stuff here. I thought about this as i moved around the area, wondering how this plot could have changed.

12008 January 28

I was heading west again in the car, down the rural road to the northwest of the city. I had come here a few hours ago to look at the apartment here, and i was now turning down the gravel driveway on the northern side of the road. The land to the north sloped downhill slightly, and the driveway looped across the large yard of a yellow wood farmhouse. The last time i had come, i remembered following the driveway all the way down to the bottom of the loop, but i knew where i was heading this time, so i cut across the loop on the other part of the driveway. There was a shed to the northwest of the house where i had gone before to start my laundry. I had put a load in a while ago and i thought that i should go pick it up. I wondered if the people in the house would be annoyed by the way i was driving behind their house to get to the garage rather than using the western side of the driveway, which ran directly to the garage, where the laundry machine was. I walked into the southern door of the building and over to the washing machine, which seemed like the trunk of a car on the eastern side of the large open room. The woman had shown me around here before. I felt awkward about the woman. She was trying to rent out the apartment here, but i only wanted to wash my clothes. It had been a long time since i put my laundry in, however, so i hoped that it was still okay. I opened the blue lid of the laundry machine, which was to the west of me as i stood near the eastern side of the room. I was disappointed to notice that other people had added their clothing to the laundry machine. The machine had a large horizontal tumbler in it that ran across the width of the machine, and i was looking down at the clothes that had been washed. My clothes were still in the machine, so someone had simply added their clothing to the machine and washed them again. I pulled out some of my sheets and shirts. I then noticed a green towel, which i thought was mine. As i pulled the small washcloth out of the machine, however, i noticed that it was covered with white flower patterns. I tossed it back into the machine and continued pulling the clothes out. I thought that i should put another load in. I hoped that i pulled all of my clothing from the dryer. I then bent down on the northern side of the machine to collect the next load i had, which i had left by the machine. There did not seem to be enough clothing on the floor to do another load, so i started collecting the dirty clothes, which seemed to consist of mostly dark socks and underwear. I took the clothes and started piling them into the truck of my car, which was to the west of me. The car had a hatchback, and the trunk was fairly empty when i started putting the clothes into it. I folded some of the white clothing i had and filled most of the trunk. I then picked up some of the dirty clothing from the floor and stuffed it into the trunk as well. The older woman, who was the landlord here, came in from the south with a younger man. She looked over the laundry that i had collected and commented on them. She then pointed out that my white running jacket was not quite dry. I looked at the plastic running shell, saying that it should by dry enough. As i lifted it, however, i noticed that it was still a little damp. The material was still stuck together a little. I told the woman that it was dry enough, but she seemed to press the point. I started to feel a little annoyed with her.

12008 January 30

I turned to the south, where my father was standing in the driveway, talking to the small group of people who had gathered outside the back door of my parents’ house. The sky was dark, but i had no trouble seeing the people around me. I then noticed that the large willow tree in the front yard of the house was starting no sway in the strong wind. A large branch tipped forward and i could hear cracking noises. I warned my father that the branch was falling down and told him to get out of the way. He turned to look at the tree as he backed to the north, up the driveway. I wondered if the branch would reach this far up the driveway when it fell. It did not seem likely. The branch turned to the east, across the northern side of the tree, cracked off, and fell to the ground. The entire tree continued to sway, though, and we knew that it was going to fall over. I looked at the large bulbous trunk as it started to tip and sway like a top about to fall over. It seemed like the trunk of a willow as it broke apart and fell over into the front lawn of the house. I hoped that the branches did not fall on the porch or any part of the house. I moved to the front room of the house and looked out the main front door, where i could see the upper branches of the tree. There were still small green leaves on the branches, which were now lying across the front lawn in front of the door. I wondered if the branches would start sprouting. Then we would have several other locust trees growing in the yard. I turned around and walked back to the north, across the white bedroom in the western side of the house. The bedroom seemed to be on the western side of a hall.

I walked out the back door of the house and noticed $F16 lying on the ground, face down. He had a cell phone to his left ear, and his head was facing south. He lay on the eastern edge of the stone patio, which was just off the northern side of the house. I felt suddenly worried as i stepped out of the door and went to turn him over. It was $F16. I stood up again, realizing that he was probably dead. He did not seem to respond. I knew that $F45 was inside the house, watching me, and i started to cry, but no tears really came out. I then noticed that $F16 had opened his eyes. I quickly told $F45 that i should call emergency and took the telephone. I tried to help $F16, but his lower body was partly buried in the pile of leaves on the side of the patio. The man on the telephone answered and i told him that we needed an ambulance. I could tell that $F16 was shivering. I tried to comfort him, but the man on the telephone asked me for the address. I gave him the address of my house on $P144. I then remembered that i was actually at my grandmother’s house. The man questioned the address that i had given, trying to figure out where i was. I told him that i had made a mistake and tried to remember the address here. I could not, and i turned to the south, calling for $F45 in the house to ask him if he knew what the address was. He did not. I felt frustrated as i bent over to help $F16. I tried to clear the leaves from his body so that he could get up. I took the telephone from my ear as i started walking down the driveway to the south, along the eastern side of the white house. My grandmother’s mailbox should have the number on it. I then put the telephone back to my ear and told the man that the address was 635. I then corrected myself and said it was 365. I should have known this address by now. I looked at the white sign in front of the house where the mailbox was. The number 744 was on the sign. I did not think that this was the correct address, but i told the person on the telephone that we might be at 744 on $P1. I felt confused and turned around, looking for numbers on the house. There seemed to be several numbers on the house and sign over the mailbox. I did not know which was the address. I thought that the 744 might be the fire number of the house. I wondered if emergency could find me from the signal on my cell phone. My grandmother was then at the cellar door of the house. I asked her what the address was and complained that there were other numbers on the signs out front. I had to tell emergency where to send the ambulance.

12008 January 31

I moved through the small white rooms of the house. This place seemed to belong to $A53. I had been visiting here, and i was not gathering my things to leave. Something felt uncomfortable here. $A53’s mother was then in the room near me. She said something to me, and i felt as though i might be imposing on her for something. I looked around the room as i walked across the southern wall, from west to east. The door to the room, where the woman was standing, was in the western end of the southern wall. I felt as though i might have taken something from the house, and i wondered if the mother was suspicious of me. I tried to think about what i had done, but i could not remember. I hoped that i did not steal anything from the house. I had to pack my things to leave here.

I heard the sound of someone coming as i stood to the west of my parents’ house. I turned to the west, feeling that i should leave this area. I stepped into the air and started floating. I knew that the men coming would not be able to fly the way that i did. I had been in the rooms on the second floor of the eastern side of the house, but then i moved into the western side of the house. These rooms seemed fairly new, but i was now flying over the roof of the western part of the house. I turned around and started heading back to the east, crossing the front of the house. I was fairly low to the ground, passing between the house and the three trees in lined up in the front yard. The trees seemed leafless, but the grass still seemed somewhat green, as though it was late fall. As i rounded the southwestern corner of the house, i noticed the man coming down the road from the east. He was not the threat that i had expected. He was a dark-skinned man, and he was wearing a blue Boy Scout uniform: short-sleeved shirt with long pants. I realized that he was Eddy Murphy, and it seemed strange that he was here. I continued to fly to the east as he stopped in the front of the house. He tried to get my attention, but i told him that i was not interested. I felt that i had to get away. To my surprise, he started flying as well. I was unaware that anyone else could do such things. He swooped across the front of the house and quickly caught up with me, flying just above me. I rolled onto my back and started hitting him to get him away from me.

I rolled over, looking at $F4, who was sleeping on the floor to the west of me. We were in the living room of the house. The walls seemed to be a medium colour, and there was a couch to the east of us and a table or chair to the south. There seemed to be an entrance to the room in the southern end of the western wall and another in the eastern end of the northern wall. I tried to get comfortable on the floor. I realized that i was sleeping close to another man. The man was just behind me, to the east. I was leaning up against him as i tried to get comfortable. I felt comfortable with him, and wanted to hug him as i slept. I wondered if $F4 would be uncomfortable with this. I thought that he might not know that i was homosexual and might be disturbed to find me sleeping so close to another man. I did not know the man that well, but i was very interested in him. I moved a little to the east, trying to adjust the small red pillows on the floor. I then pulled the large dark-blue cushions from the couch, which was just to the east of me. We seemed to have been sleeping on the cushions. The man did not move much as i tried to adjust things. I then pulled another small square pillow with dark-red fringe from the couch and adjusted it under my head. The other man might want one. He seemed to be wearing a dark blue parka that was unzipped in front as he reclined partially against the couch, leaning slightly to the south. I then got up, thinking that i had something to do.