12004 April 01
I was in the car with my parents as we drove to the east. My father was driving the small can, and i was in the back seat, looking out the front window. We seemed to be driving through a very hilly country, but it was so foggy outside that i could not see exactly where we were going. I knew that we were traveling along the northern slope of a steep forested hill. For a moment, it seemed that we were traveling on an old dirt trail, and i wondered whether we might get stuck on the road. I knew that it had been raining out, and i thought that the weather might have made the roads bad. I then realized that the road ahead of us was single lane. I thought that the cars coming from the other direction might be driving on another section of the road on the hill to the north, but then i noticed that the northern edge of the road on which we were traveling had a ragged edge, as if the road was torn down the center. I could still see parts of the yellow line in the center of the road on some of the ragged pieces of the tear. The left side of the road was actually washed away. The bottom of the hill, which was below the road, must have been eroded by the heavy rains. I worried that the road on which we were traveling might give away and fall down the hill as well. I felt very nervous as we continued. I hoped that we did not fall over the edge. I thought that the rains must have caused the rivers between the steep rounded hills to rise quite high in the valleys. We came over a hill on the broken road, and i could see a small city ahead of us. We were just coming out of the dangerous area. I felt relieved that we would not have to drive on the bad roads, but then i realized that my father would want to drive on the roads to get back home. I felt very uncomfortable here.
12004 April 02
I walked around the northern side of the small restaurant, which seemed like a small grocery store. This was my first day working here as a waiter, and i felt excited. I moved through the small round tables in the room, wondering what i could do. $F15 was the main waiter in the room. He said something to me as he stood on the southern side of the room. I walked to a table in the northwestern corner of the room. Two of the three people at the table had just stood up to leave and the third was getting ready to get up. The man still sitting at the table had black hair and was wearing a dark-blue jacket. As he stood up to leave, i looked at the dirty dishes on the table. I would have to clear them and put out the new dishes. There were some new people standing just to the southeast of the table who were waiting to be seated. I then remembered that i had to clear some dishes from the table to the east, near the large glass entrance door of the store. I told the people who were waiting for the table near me that i would have to get some clean dishes for them. They started to set their things on the chairs of the dirty table. I walked to the south, through the swinging wooden doors and into the kitchen. There was a large wooden table in the center of the kitchen with many things piled up on it. Under it was a white shelf with several dishes. I looked through the dishes, but could not find a set of dinner plates for the tables. I asked the woman near me where the dinner plates were, and she told me that there were no clean plates left. I picked up a plate from the shelf, rhetorically asking in it would do. As i lifted the blue dish, however, i realized that it was large and oval, with raised edges. The man near me said that it was a serving bowl. I looked up at $A116, who was on the southern side of the wooden cutting-block counter in the center of the room. He was the cook. He complained about something to me as he leaned onto the counter with both hands. I turned to the west wall to see the woman pushing dishes across the stainless-steel counter. She said that she was still doing the dishes in the dishwasher. She was not finished with the plates yet. I walked over to the northern edge of the metal counter and pulled some dirty dishes out of a deep sink, asking if i should just wash them myself. I started to wash something in the soapy water, but then realized that i should have cleared some of the dirty dishes from the table. I walked back out into the dining room and stopped in the middle of the floor. I could not remember what i was supposed to be doing. I tried to think, but i could non remember. I suddenly felt that i was not doing the work that i should have been doing, and i felt suddenly worried. I should start clearing the tables. I wondered suddenly why i had not been doing the work.
12004 April 03
My mother drove the car to the northwest, across the flat area which seemed like an old factory yard. The road was made of cement, but it had not been taken care of, and there were strands of grass growing up between the cracks. Young trees and weeds grew on either side of the road, and there seemed to be a tall metal chain-link fence to the west of us. We had just come from some place to the southwest and were now leaving. There were a couple other cars traveling in the same direction as we were. The sky seemed grey. I thought that there was something special about this area. The grounds seemed to be part of a government installation. Several freight trains were moving around the northern side of the factory yard. My mother stopped the car as we came to a railroad crossing. There was a dirt area to the west of the road which seemed to be a place where cars could pull off the road. We had to get around the trains if we wanted to leave the area. I felt that we should get out of this place very soon. We turned a corner, heading more directly north, but the road ahead made a right hand turn to the east. The road now seemed to be made of packed dirt. As we rounded the corner, i could see part of a truck in a small parking area just off the north of the road. The white piece seemed to be the roof, front roof braces, and hood of a pick-up truck. They were floating in the air, as though the truck was still under them. I thought it was strange and wondered whether the rest of the truck was bending light around it to mask itself. There was something spooky about the truck. As we continued to drive through the area, though, i noticed a few more trucks which were partially invisible. We then seemed to be traveling on the main road to the north-northwest, away from the area. A friend of mine was driving the car, and he turned the car to the northeast, onto the road which led into the college. I had not been paying attention to where he was going. We seemed to drive down the road fairly quickly. I was aware that the main road continued to the west of us, running almost parallel to the road on which we were. There seemed to be a large grassy field between the two roads with several small buildings scattered along the western edge of it. Some of the buildings seemed to be old wooden barns, but others seemed to be fast-food restaurants and a bank. We were riding over the top of a wide rounded hill, and the college seemed to be entirely to the east of us. We came to the intersection where the campus road met back up with the main road. I wondered why we had bothered to get off of the main road if we were just going to get back on. $A348 was driving the small van that we were in, and i asked “Wouldn’t it have been easier to stay on main road?” He replied that it was quicker to take the campus road, and i smirked at him to let him know how predictable his answer was. On the northern side of the hill, the trees around the road started to get taller, and the land sloped down suddenly. We were traveling down a very steep hill. The road curved to the west. The trees to the east of the road were tall and deep green. They seemed to be pine trees. There was a wide grassy shoulder to the road on the eastern side, with a deep drainage ditch right off the shoulder. I then remembered that $A348 lives around this area. We were heading to his house. At the bottom of the hill, i could see where the road curved back not the northwest. The land at the bottom of the hill opened up into a small valley, and it seemed that the road curved to the north as it headed back up the other side. Right at the bottom of the hill, on the north side of the road, was a small resort. I spotted the large blue oddly shaped pool in the front of the lawn first. Then i noticed the small brown sign with yellow and light blue letters which displayed the name of the resort. The wide lawn of the resort was spotted with small pine trees. $A348 had described where he lived, and i remembered that the pool of the resort was one of the landmarks that he used. The house was just beyond the entrance to the resort. I looked at the small patch of houses beyond a tall line of pine trees, trying to see if i could recognize the house from before. We turned into the housing area, and i remembered being here before. $K5 had just bought a house in this area. They had gotten a good deal on an old house with a small cottage near it. As we drove down the dirt road, heading to the east, i looked for the large white house with the square tower. I spotted it on the north side of the small village. The house looked run down, but the wall white wooden tower was very noticeable. I was here once before, and i remembered how nice the house seemed. The house had a nice interior, even though it was in need of repair. I pictured the decorative trim which was all around the inside of the house. I remembered talking to someone about the previous occupants of the house. They had lived in the tower of the house. It seemed like an old ghost story. I walked around southeaster corner of the dull-yellow house, and i pictured the roof of the house as though i was floating over it. I could see where the tar shingles of the roof had worn away and there were holes in the crest. The decorative wood trim just under the square towers was rotting, and seemed ready to fall down. I was then inside the house, moving down the center of the tower. I looked at the faded wallpaper and dingy walls. This place was very nice, but it needed a lot of repairs. They were very lucky to have found this house and bought it when they did. I was then back outside the house, trying to remember what the small cottage by the lake looked like. It was part of the same property. I remembered that it used to be a small store. $K16 had shown me the shack before, and i remembered that it was right on the southern shore of the small lake. I walked to the east of the house, down the dirt driveway. There was a large red barn just to the east of the driveway. The bar old wooden barn had white trim and belonged to the house to the east. The dirt driveway must have been on that property at one point. I walked around the side of the barn and spotted the small shack. There was a large green pick-up truck at the end of the driveway, right in front of the cottage. I thought that the truck might belong to $K16, and i wondered whether $K16 and $K5 were both here at the moment. I enjoyed this house and thought that it was a very nice deal. I wished that i could have bought it and wondered if i could own it.
12004 April 04
I sat on the floor of the narrow office, leaning against the northern wall of the narrow room. I felt somewhat sick, but i was here trying to do some work. I felt as though i had been sleeping late, and i did not want to wake up. There was a yellow writing pad in my lap, and i was trying to do some work at the office. The door in the western wall of the room opened and $A14 walked into the room. I felt suddenly worried that he would see me working here. I did not want anyone to think that i was trying to get out of work. As i looked at $A14 standing in the open doorway, however, i noticed that he had a walking stick in his right hand. He seemed to be blind. Something seemed strange about this. I still thought that he knew that i was here. I moved closer to the north wall as he passed through the room, saying “Hi.” in a very quiet tone. He turned to the south and headed into the next office. I pulled the wool blanked back over my shoulders, feeling sick. I had to do something about my work, but i did not feel as though i would be able to work well as long as i was sick. I stood up and walked to the east, into the next room of the office. This was my office at $P126. I looked around and realized that my desk had been moved out while i was away. I felt concerned and walked to the south, into the next office. My things had been moved to a small desk just inside the office door. To the east, $A366 sat behind his grey metal desk, looking at me. I could tell that he was unhappy that i was here. I thought that they moved me to this desk so that everyone could watch over me. I felt that they did not trust me. I then realized that i was arriving at work late. It was sometime after ten o’clock now, and i should have been in by eight. I suddenly did not care that i was late, and felt angry with my bosses. I felt out of place here and thought that i should be doing something better than this. I opened one of the drawers of the small desk were i was supposed to sit. It seemed that most of my things were missing from my new area, and nothing that was here was set up properly. I looked around and noticed that the white box, which held all of my files, was missing. I started looking through some of the things, pretending that i was looking for something. I did not feel like being here and wanted to leave. I grabbed something from the desk and headed back out of the office. I thought that i should go back to bed. I thought that i would wrap myself up in the dark-blue and white blanket and write some more. I still thought that i was sick as i headed to the west. Just outside the office, i spoke to $A166. I complained about this work place. I told him that it did not feel right for me to work here. After a moment of talking to him, i headed back to my desk. As i entered the office, though, i noticed that the desk had been moved against the west wall. I felt that $A366 did not want me to be in front of his desk. It seemed that he did not want me here at all. I thought that he had turned my computer against the side wall so that i would have my back to him. I looked for my things again around the new desk, but noticed that only my computer monitor was on the desk. The west wall of the room was covered with tall grey filing cabinets, and my small square desk was pushed up against them. The desk was only big enough to fit the monitor on top of it. I looked around again, but could still not see my files. I then realized that my computer was not here. I started to feel upset here and wondered what i should be doing. I felt that i no longer had anything to do here. I felt depressed and wandered why i was still here.
12004 April 05
I was in $P19 with the others. Something seemed to be wrong outside. We were gathered in the room on the second floor, in the southeastern corner of the house. I sat near the eastern wall, looking to the south at some of the other $G3. I could hear the rain falling on the windows along the eastern side of the room. It was raining rather heavily outside. I felt that there was something wrong, and then i could hear the wind blowing the rain against the glass. The wind sounded strong, so i told the others that we should probably get out of the room and away from the windows. I said that we should head into the basement. As i started to move toward the door in the northern end of the western wall, to the west of me, i heard the wind hit the building with a sudden force. I could feel the floor tip down to the west, as though the house were tipping. There was a flash of lightning from the storm, followed by thunder. We had to get to a safer part of the building. I was then walking down the stone stairs to the basement, heading west. There were several other people gathered in the basement already, and a few more were descending the stairs with me. I seemed to be soaking wet, and i had a wool blanket wrapped around my shoulders. I looked around at the others gathered in the room. Many of them seemed to be here for the alumni event. I headed to the west, toward the grassy area on the northern side of the house. It was sunny here, and we were outside. Many of the alumni were gathered around this area. I turned around as someone to the south said something to me. I turned to see someone that i recognized from high school. He had just come up the stone steps after i did. The steps descended to the east, into the ground. I said hello to him, aware that someone was tapping my right arm. I turned to the north again to see $A275 standing near me. She did not look like someone i recognized, but i knew that it was her. Her face was oval and very plain, and she chin-length blonde hair. She was disappointed that i had turned around to hay hello to the other man before i had said hello to her. It now seemed that she had tapped me on the shoulder before the man had said hello to me. I said hello to her, but she still seemed to be frustrated with me. I then noticed that $F18 was standing to the north of me. I said hello to her. As i spoke, i looked around at all of the people here. There were so many people that i recognized from before. I turned to the south to see a familiar face talking to someone near the top of the stairs. There was a short stone wall running along the northern side of the stairwell, and several people were either sitting on or against the wall. I noticed that $F14 was sitting on the western end of the stone wall, her feet straddling the wall as she faced east, talking happily to someone. She was wearing a dark-coloured horizontally stripped button-up sweater and dark-blue denims. Her thick black curly hair fell down to her elbows, and she sat with a slight hunch. I looked farther down the wall, to the east, to see $F30 talking to someone else. I would have to say hello to everyone. I was glad that they were all here.
12004 April 08
I looked down at the script in my hand. It was a play that we had done quite a while ago, but we were supposed to be practicing it again. I could not remember the words to my part, and i started to worry that i would not be prepared for the performance. I read over some of the lines as the woman stood in the room near me. The word “OK” was highlighted near the top of the page, and i had a few lines highlighted near the bottom. I remembered this scene. I should be sitting with an old laptop computer in my lap. I would be hunched over to type something on it when the other person spoke to me. We would be performing this play soon, and i did not know the lines. I felt that i could have been studying the lines, but i had not read them since we did the play the first time. I started to feel very frustrated as i moved to the east in the room. The performance of the play was for a class that i was part of. I could not concentrate on what i was doing. I felt as though i should be reading the play to try to memorize the lines, but i was not doing so. It just kept getting later and later until it was near the time for the test. I flipped through the pages of the script, but realized that i only had the scenes in which i had a part. I would have to go home to get the other parts of the play. I started walking to the south, down the western sidewalk of the city street. Large brownstone apartment buildings stood to the west of me as i read through the pieces of the play. I then remembered that i could not stay here for the test. I was supposed to perform the play this evening with $G11. I climbed the stairs into the dining room of $P19, stopping at the top of the stairs and looking out into the room of round brown wooden tables. There were several others from my class sitting at the tables. I asked “Is anyone else besides $F39 part of $G11?” $A168 was sitting at a table in the center of the room. She said “Oh. They have a play tonight.” I stepped into the dining room and turned to the west, heading into the kitchen, where the teacher of the class was. I stopped just inside the door where i found $A48 standing near the table. I felt nervous about telling him that i could not take his test, but i told him that i had a performance on the play this evening and that i could not stay here to take the test on the play. He acknowledged me and i turned to the north and started walking, thinking of all the things that i would have to pick up at home before i headed to the theatre. I followed the woman to the north, across the snowy ground. We seemed to be in the country, where there were thin leafless trees ahead of us. There seemed to be a small creek to the west of us as we headed along path. I looked over the edge of the small cliff down to the creek, thinking about the lines. The snow was frozen on the side of the cliff in a thick sheet. I pushed against the sheet, and it fell over into the water. The woman looked back at me in surprise as the sheet of ice crashed into the ground. I walked a little farther to the north and pushed the pole into the ice there, prying a larger sheet off of the cliff. The ice broke free in a large sheet, pulling some of the ice from farther up the trail with it. I stepped back from the cliff as the woman continued on. There was a thin piece of rock which had been exposed once the ice had fallen off. I looked at the smooth grey rock. It was pulling away from the rest of the cliff itself, and i thought that the ice from winter must have pushed the thin piece of rock away from the rest of the cliff. I pulled on the rock, and it started to bend away from the rest of the cliff, pulling the rock farther up the cliff with it. I thought about the script that i was supposed to memorize, and the rocks seemed to have something to do with the stuff that i had to get for the play. I pushed on the rocks and they fell over onto the dry golden grass of the field to the west. There seemed to be a large barn to the west of us now. The woman was farther ahead of me on the trail. I She stopped and looked back for a moment before continuing on. Once the thin rock had fallen back, the trail seemed to be nothing more than a thin mound of rubble which ascended to the north. It now seemed easier to climb with the rocks out of the way.
I came to the bottom of the hill on my bicycle. I had just left someplace to the east of me, and i was now on the main road which lead north, along the eastern side of the housing area of the small city. I thought about the person with whom i had just been speaking before i continued riding my bicycle to the north. I know that the first part of the ride would be down a long shallow hill. I would only have to go up hill once i got to the northern part of the city. I felt tired, but i knew that the uphill part would not be that bad. As i sped through the city streets, the buildings around me started to change. They seemed to get old, and the ones in front of me were pinkish tan. The street also seemed to change colour, and i imagined that i would be transitioning to a foreign land as i passed through the city. I then noticed the two men it tan robes with guns. They seemed to be part of a foreign military, and i though that this place was the Middle East. I could not believe that i had actually shifted from one place to the other, but this place no longer seemed to be the same city that i was in. Something felt strange here.
12004 April 09
The man to the northwest of me complained about the things which were missing from the office. I looked out the large window, which took up most of the western wall of the small office. Black stone counters ran along the western and northern walls of the small lab. I knew that the samples were missing because of something that had happened, but i did not want to tell the man about it. I knew that his samples had been taken. Instead, i told the man that someone had switched all of the samples. I motioned to the tall wooden rack of large test tubes which was sitting on the counter on the northern wall. I quickly realized that my story did not sound convincing, though, because he would still be able to find his samples in the rack. I had only described how the samples were shuffled down a few rows, so his samples should still be in the rack if i was right. I changed the story a little, telling the man that “they” came in and shuffled the test tubes every day. I had started to say “They come in to switch them every Monday, Tuesday, . . .”, but i had decided that i would say that they were changed every weekday. I then turned and walked out of the door, which was on the eastern end of the northern wall. Someone mentioned that the lab would be my new office, saying that a partition would be put up to split the room in two. Someone, who seemed like $A261, said in an envious tone that i would have a window with a good view over campus. I pictured the large window in the western wall which looked out over the central section of the college campus. I knew that the office would be on the floor above my new work group, but still in the same building. They had been trying to get me an office in the building, so this was a step in the right direction. It was a nice office, i thought. As i walked down the hall to the north, i looked out the small window of the plane. The two people were not supposed to be on the plane, but they had boarded it. I tried to warn them as i stood on the cement landing platform, to the north of the plane. The plane was an experimental plane from the military. A small red plane-like object landed on the nose of the grey aircraft, and the small plane lifted from the ground. The red object was leading the plane to a secret place. I knew that the older man with the silver hair and mustache and the younger woman with him would be in trouble for being in the aircraft. I was then in the plane. I was the older man, looking at the red object on the front of the airplane, just outside the small trapezoidal windows. I could feel the motion as the plane started to descend over the large cement pad. The motion felt strange, and i knew that it was because the small object was turning and moving the plane rather than the plane moving under its own motion. I was the man, standing in a red short-sleeve button-up shirt, looking to the west at the grey airplane. I stood on the eastern side of the cement pad. Two long dark warehouses stood on either side of the pad, to the east and west. This place was a secret military base, and i knew that this had something to do with extraterrestrial interaction. I turned to the north to see a small grey extraterrestrial looking at me curiously. He did not expect to see both of us there. I seemed to be near the nose of the aircraft, just to the northeast of the plane. The extraterrestrial hesitantly asked whether Officer Davis had been replaced. He stated his question as though he were assuming it to be true. I said something implying that there was a mistake. I was then farther from the plane, looking to the west. I knew that the government troops would be here to arrest us. I was aware of the approaching soldiers as i stood still in the middle of the cement area. I knew that there was nothing that i could do to escape, so i waited, hoping that they would not kill me. The men in military green uniforms and machine guns surrounded us from the south, and i started to feel dazed. I felt a thin mist on the left side of my face, and i thought that they were spraying us with some kind of chemical. They would have to deprogram us and make us forget what we saw. I was then lying on the ground. I knew that i would forget what was happening, but i was still conscious and fully aware of what was happening to me. I wondered whether the chemical was supposed to make me delirious. I was glad that they did not seem to want to kill us, and, for some reason, i felt that i would be safe. I seemed to think that i would be treated specially here. I was now in a room as the people walked around me. I was still on the floor, looking up. I could see the woman who had been with me. She was wandering around, confused, and being led by one of the officers. He was showing her things that would help her forget what was happening. Another woman then stumbled near me. She had medium-dark skin and long curly hair. She smiled widely as another officer led her past me, trying to confuse her senses and convince her that she did not see what we had seen. I stayed on the floor, hoping that the officers would leave me alone. I felt very lucid and hoped that they did not know how much i remembered and saw. I rolled to the east so that i could see the dark-skinned woman walking away from me. The officer introduced her to the tall woman in the red dress, who was dancing across the floor. The officer introduced her as Queen Elizabeth. I knew that Queen Elizabeth was dead, so i knew that she could not be there. They were introducing the woman to the fake queen so that the woman would not be able to distinguish reality from what she had seen here. She could not tell people what was real because she would not be able to separate the details in her head. This was a surreal treatment. The officer was then confronted by another officer. I sat up slowly as i heard them yelling. They were in a small office in the northeastern corner of the room. The officer who had been with us had his back to the door when i heard the gun shot. I saw the officer fall in the door, and i started to worry that the older officer would be harder on us, possibly killing us rather than reprogramming us. I know that we could not let the other officer take control of us. To my surprise, the other officer then put the old pistol to his head with his left hand and shot himself. Both of the officers were now dead. We had to get out of this area. I thought that we should try to escape while no one was watching over us. I grabbed the others who were with me and led them to the north, out of the small room and through the crowded hanger. We would have to find a way to get off of the base and escape into the nearby city. We ran toward the door in the northern wall, where we could see sunlight shining in. Once outside the door, we turned to the west. I let the others run ahead of me down the side of the building. There was as small lunch area just to the west of the door that we had exited. It was fenced in on the east and west by a tall chain-link fence, which had brown plastic strips in it. As we passed the opening in the middle of the fence, i noticed the red-haired man sitting on the near bench of the small wooden picnic table. He was taking a sip from a styrofoam coffee mug as we passed. I recognized him form before. He was one of the officers. I did not remember seeing him before, but i knew that he was one of the people who had been in charge of us. He seemed startled by us, and started to his feet. I quickly ran to the west and around the corner of the building, heading down the long hall between the building and the next. There was an automobile garage to the south. The others were ahead of me, and one of them shouted into the garage, asking if there was a truck that we could use for an emergency. There seemed to be a large black pick-up truck right by the door, and i thought that we could take it. Cosmo Cramer was standing in the garage, just inside the door. He turned to one of the people who was in the garage and said “Remember that dream you had with the butterflies?” The person, who seemed to be Newman, nodded in response, uneasily looking at us. Cramer nodded to him, saying “This is like that.” It was part of a comical line, and i knew that the audience would laugh at it. Newman turned and ran to the driver’s door of the car as everyone else got in. The others acted panicked because it would be funnier to the audience. I watched from the garage as we drove off.
12004 April 10
I sat at the front of the classroom, listening to the teacher to the north of us instruct us. Something seemed to happen, and the teacher was upset with me. This place seemed familiar, and i remembered that i had said something that the teacher did not understand, so she got upset with me. I felt confused, but told the teacher that i was not doing anything. I then felt very mad and frustrated as i sat back down in my seat behind an old wooden flip-top desk. I told the teacher that i was not sorry for what i had done, and then i accused her of belittling her students. She seemed suddenly shocked that i had stood up for myself. She then scolded me. I knew that she was just being defensive because she no longer felt that she was in total control of the situation. I was too angry to back down, though, so i stood up and started collecting the clothing that i had on the side of the desk. I was going to walk out of the classroom. I felt that i had to stand up for my beliefs, and i was too angry to be polite.
12004 April 11
I walked to the north, into the large modern building of the college. This place seemed like $P41. I was attending classes here. As i walked across the large atrium of the grey building, i realized that i had left my lunch at home. I suddenly felt anxious and angry. My mother had already left, so i would have to buy a lunch from the cafeteria in the atrium. I was now standing to the north of the brown counter. I had just been dropped off, but it was already the middle of the day, and i was buying a lunch. The woman at the cashier was sitting on a stool on the southern side of the counter. I had just paid her for a sandwich, but i could not remember what i had just ordered. I felt confused, not sure what was happening. I looked at the brown paper sandwich bag which was in my right hand as the woman took the money from me. She was putting it in her drawer and getting some change as i decided to pull the sandwich out of the bag to see what i had ordered. I opened up the white paper that was wrapping the sub sandwich and looked at the open edge of the bun. I could see the sliced contents of the sandwich, but i could not tell what they were. They looked like sliced fruit. I said something to the woman at the counter as she handed me back my change. She told me that they were slices of eggplant. I remembered that the sandwich was like eggplant parmesan. I started to push the sandwich back into the bag, but i could not get it to fit. I still felt agitated and upset about not bringing my lunch and started to feel frustrated that i could not get the sandwich back in to the bag. The edges of the bread started to tear as they caught on the sides of the paper bag. I became suddenly angry and threw the bag down onto the counter. I started tearing the sandwich apart and yelling. When the woman spoke harshly to me, i yelled back at her, unable to control my anger. I stormed away to the south, into the center of the room.
12004 April 18
I was traveling to the north on $P109. I had just come from someplace where my parents were, and i knew that they were behind me in the car. As i drove up the shallow hill toward $P110, i noticed that there was something wrong with my car. The lights on the dashboard were not working. I reached for the switch with my left hand and turned it to the on position. I realized that the lights had already been on, but the power in the car was not working properly. I wondered whether the battery was dead. I remember that the battery had died before, but i thought that it had done so on my grandmother’s car, not mine. I was concerned that there was something very wrong with my car. As i approached the intersection at $P110, i realized that my brakes were not working properly. I managed to stop the car at the intersection, but i was worried that he engine might stall. It sounded very strange, as though it was having trouble running. I cautiously started to the north, thinking that i could coast a little ways from the intersection to let the engine generate electricity for the battery. Something was wrong, though. I realized that the brakes were not working properly at the intersection. I tried to stop, hoping that there were not cars coming from the other directions. I slowed to a stop to the north of the intersection, just outside of $A292’s house. I felt a sudden bump as the small yellow car behind me ran into my back end. He could not stop in time. I thought that he must have come over the rise too quickly and did not have enough time to stop. I had stopped so slowly that i should not have surprised him. My car rolled forward a little, so i turned it to the west, thinking that i could drive off of the road, into $A292’s driveway. I thought that i should go to the house to ask for help. I could not get my car to stop, though. It kept rolling slowly to the north. I finally managed to stop it just north of the driveway, but then it started to roll back ward. I pulled the emergency break, but the car still crept to the south, passing the driveway and falling into the ditch with a sudden bounce. The car came to a rest in the ditch, and i got out to see what kind of damage was done to it. The yellow car, which had been behind me, was still sitting in them middle of the road, the man inside it watching me as i walked around the western side of my car. I looked at the red Jetta sitting in the ditch. The rear driver’s side tire was bent inward at a strange angle, and i thought that it was permanently damaged. I walked around the back of the car and could see the outside of the tire facing the center of the car. My father seemed to be near me. He said something about the car. He was then carrying the bicycle over his shoulder as he rounded the car. I had been riding the bicycle. I was then riding the bicycle to the north, on the main road. I had to get to my parents’ house so that i could do something about my car. I came to the end of the road and stopped at the intersection. It now seemed to be sunny out, though the sky was grey and hazy. I looked down at the road in front of me and noticed that there were puddles of water in the dirt path. The heavy rains must have washed away some of the road. Three was a woman walking to the north, on the grass of her front lawn. I turned to the west and looked down the long steep hill which led to my parents’ house. I thought that i could coast down it to recharge the battery of my car. As i started down, though, i noticed that several sections of the road had been washed out and still had puddles of water over them. Someone had set up a line of small logs along the north side of the road where one of the puddles was, forming a path that people could travel. I let my car roll straight through the puddle on the side of the road. It seemed that i was not supposed to do this, but i did not think that it would harm my car.
I ran to the west with $Z, through the bare wood door of the old cottage. The door was on the northern end of the western wall of the small building, which seemed like a train car or trailer home. It was a grey day, and the forest to the north of us seemed mostly to be composed of tall pine trees. There seemed to be a shallow creek just to the south of the cabin. The shore on which the cabin sat was part of the wash from the river, and the land seemed to be made of small rounded pebbles which were covered with tall thin green blades of grass. It was dark in the house, and i felt as though i was out of breath. There was someone following us, and we had to get away. As i moved through the long dusty halls of the abandoned cabin, i started to feel nervous. We were in an empty room on the northern end of the trailer. The bare wood walls were worn, and the air inside was thick and dusty. I knew that people still lived here, and i felt that they were hostile to outsiders. They seemed to be hill folk. I was worried that they would find us in their house, and i thought that we had to get out of here before they came back. We moved again and then stopped in a room in the middle of the house. The house was narrow north to south, and all of the rooms seemed to have windows in both the north and south walls, through which the hazy light from the grey sky shone. I was nervous here and knew that the others were after us. They would be here soon, so we had to leave.
12004 April 19
I walked to the north with my parents, looking at the three tall mountain peaks in front of us. This place was part of a theme park. The mountains seemed to occupy a very small area, but i knew that they were very tall. I told my father that i wanted to climb up the central peak, even though i knew that my mother would not want to do anything strenuous. I mentioned the rainforest, which i knew was up near the top of the peak. As i spoke, i remembered how high the peaks were, thinking that they were high enough that the air would be hard to breath. We would not be able to hike up the mountains in a single day. It would take a while. I felt disappointed that i could not go climbing like i wanted to. I hoped that i would be able to come back here sometime and go hiking. We started to walk to the northwest, along the front of the three small peaks. I started to imagine teleporting to the top of the peak. I imagined i could focus field energy and move myself through space until i was on the mountain. It would be like traveling through the earth gates, but i would be creating the holes myself. I then focused on the tall man to the north. We were now walking across the stone floor of the grand hallway. The walls were made of dull-yellow stone, which was polished. This palace was part of the tourist park. The man to the north was dressed in pale-yellow robes, and he wore a tall triangular hat on his head. He was flanked on either side by men in darker robes and pointed hats. The three of them seemed to be related to the three peaks of the mountains, and the man in the center was the czar. The czar removed his light hat and traded it with the man to the east of himself. This scene was from a movie. I knew the plot already. As the czar wandered through the court, the others could not recognize him in a different hat. I watched the others in the court meet the czar with puzzled looks on their faces. This was an old plot, but it was retold in this story. I turned and headed to the southeast, down the wide stone staircase. I was heading into the lower levels of the building to change my hat. I was the counterpart to the czar. I could pretend that i was the czar for a while, but i would have to change hats.
12004 April 21
I rolled over to look at the people to the west of me. I had been sleeping on the wood floor of the room in my green sleeping bag, but the others in the room had awoken me. I looked to the west and south to see $F26 lying on top of someone, his arms supporting his upper body. He was wearing something light blue as he moved his pelvis up and down over the woman. They made grunting noises as they copulated. I thought that this situation was rather strange, and i wanted to go back to sleep. I wondered why $F26 was copulating in such an obvious and noisy way. He must have known that others were in the room. I rolled back over and tried to ignore them. I then realized that the animals had come into the room from the south. They had something to do with the sexual actions. I realized that some of them were tigers, so i pulled the blankets back over my head. I could feel one of the tigers step on top of me, though. I tried to stay still, hoping that it would not realize that there was someone inside the sleeping bag. I started to feel scared, thinking that the tigers would get me. I then started to feel the points of the claws coming through the material of the sleeping bag. They pricked my left shoulder and back. I tried to remain still, hoping that the tiger would not realize that i was in the bag.
12004 April 25
I walked to the north, down the white polished hall of the school. I had come back to visit this place. There was a crowd of people sitting in the bleachers along the western wall of the large room. This place seemed like a gymnasium, and there was some kind of performance going on in the center of the room, to the east of the bleachers. I decided that i could sneak under the empty benches on the southern end of the bleachers, but as i started to crawl under the bottom bench, i realized that i could not squeeze through. The red dress that i was wearing must be getting caught on something. I tried to wiggle under the metal bench, but could not move forward, so i backed up and stood up at the end of the room. I decided that i would have to climb over the top of the bleachers to make it to the northwestern end of the room. As i walked over the benches to the north, i was really walking across the surface of the round dinner tables. They were set up in the gymnasium for the reunion event, and several alumni were sitting around them in formal suits. I hurried across the room, feeling that i did not care what they thought of me for climbing over the tables. I exited the room through the door in the western end of the northern wall and continued down the white hall to the north. The hall seemed to run to the south behind be, along the western side of the gymnasium. I peered into the windows on the doors of the rooms as i passed, looking for the karate class. I knew that they had come here for a special class, and i wanted to see them practice. I saw several other classes in some of the other rooms as i glanced into the rooms to the west. The doors to the rooms were recessed into the wall of the corridor. As i walked to the north, i was aware that someone was walking behind be. I glanced back to see a man walking up the corridor to the south of me. I felt that he was watching me. Maybe he was suspicious of the fact that i was wandering around the building looking in all the rooms. I looked into one of the rooms in the western wall and saw several athletes wrestling. I remembered this room. I was in the field house of my high school. It had been remodeled since i had been here, but i remembered the wrestling room. This was the last room on the northern end of the corridor, so i turned around and headed back to the south. I still felt interested in the wrestlers, though, and wanted to watch them practice. I remembered wrestling when i was in high school, and wanted to be a part of the sport again. I passed the corridor to the east, where i had come from after exiting the gymnasium, and headed to the south. Just past the corridor, i looked into a room to the west and saw the tae kwon do students practicing in white uniforms. This was the class that i had come to see, but i could not stop thinking about wrestling. As one of the martial-arts students with ear-length straight black hair passed me on his way into the classroom, i turned back to the north and headed for the wrestling room. I stepped into the door of the wrestling room and looked to the southwest, into the center of the room. There were two students to the west of the door wrestling in tee shirts and sweatpants. In the southwestern corner of the room, there were several more wrestlers practicing. I then noticed the coach lying on his stomach in the center of the mat. He was instructing the wrestlers to the west of him. One of the wrestlers had the other in a cradle lock, and the coach was giving him pointers. I was aware that the wrestlers to the west of me were staring at me. They were wondering what i was doing here. As i watched the coach, i felt disappointed that he was not $A226. I thought that $A226 might have left the school a while ago. I started to feel uncomfortable here, wondering what i would really do here. I did not just want to stare at the wrestlers as they practiced. I started back to the hall, thinking that there was really nothing much for me to see here.
12004 April 28
I was lying in the bed in the middle of the room. The head of the bed was against the western wall of the room. The walls of the room seemed dark blue and worn, but i could not see directly because my eyes were closed. I was aware of $F12 coming into the room from the door in the north wall. He sat on the edge of the bed near my feet. I felt comforted having him there. My mother then stirred. She was in the large bed with me, to the south of me. She was concerned about $F12 and did not think that he should be in the room. I was annoyed with her needless concern and tried to ignore her. I shifted position slightly, moving my left hand out from under the covers to reach for $F12. I felt that he wanted something from me, and i wanted to offer my comfort. He grabbed my hand and held on to me. I felt comforted, but was aware that my mother was upset. She thought that he was being intrusive, and i started to get angry with her. I did not want to deal with her worry. I turned to $F12, purposely ignoring my mother. $F12 asked me if i wanted to go out for a walk in the moonlight. I remembered that it was a clear night, and it would be very easy to see in the moonlight. I felt excited about getting out in the night. I got out of bed and started getting dressed, but my mother kept nagging at me from the bed. She was concerned that i was leaving with $F12. I felt angry with her and decided to just head out the door. I was still not wearing any warm clothes, and i complained that it was her fault for driving me out of the house. I stepped out the door that was in the northern end of the eastern wall and came out onto the old metal fire escape. $F12 was already heading down the stairs to the east, along the side of the brick building. I was interested in being with him. As i started down the stairs after him, though, i realized that there was another group of people climbing down the fire escape. I let them pass as i tried to climb over the railing to get down to the next level. There seemed to be two ways to descend the stairs. I had taken a different route that $F12 had. I stopped at the end of the wide step of the circular staircase. The ceiling over the step was very low, and there was a railing bowing across the rounded end of each stair. I would have to hop over the railing to get down to the next level of the stairs. This seemed to be an inconvenient design for stairs, but i tried to climb as quickly as possible so that i could catch up with $F12. The family in front of me then stopped in the middle of the staircase. I was in the process of climbing over one of the railings when i realized that there was no place for me to step on the next stair. The family was crowded below me, blocking my path. I had to catch up with $F12, and i started to feel agitated that i could not reach him. I felt stressed as i looked out into the dining room of the restaurant to the north of me. The metal decoration on the stairwell ran along the eastern wall of the room. $F12 was already sitting at a table on the western wall of the narrow room. He seemed to be waiting for me, and i felt tense and frustrated that i could not reach him. He had bypassed the others by taking the other set of stairs. I started to feel so frustrated that i could not think anymore. I wanted to be with $F12.
12004 April 30
I walked to the north, through the curving corridors of the museum. The museum was closing for a special occasion, and we were walking with the crowd of people who were trying to get to the exit. We came out of one of the exhibit halls and into a long wide corridor on the northeast side of the building. The northwestern wall of the corridor curved to the east on one side. We headed to the east, where there was a narrow passageway which led through four turnstiles. The crowd had been exiting through the waist-high turn stiles and heading to the southeast for the exit. However, as we reached the turnstiles, the man in the blue uniform stopped us. I thought that it was now late, and the museum was actually closed. I wondered whether they would let us out of the museum. If held us with the excuse that we had come to the exit gate too late, i thought that i would argue with them and make a scene. The man motioned us against the north wall of the corridor as a group of children started to file into the museum through the gates. I thought that the man was purposely holding us at the gates because we did not get out of the museum soon enough. He allowed the children to enter, and was not going to let us out until he felt we should go. I was annoyed with him and turned to head back down the corridor to the west. I know that there were emergency doors on the north wall, and i thought that we should use them. I did not care what the people of the museum thought. I turned to the north and found myself in a side corridor of the museum where there was some construction going on. Clear sheet plastic hung from the ceiling over the entrance to a small room. The room had no outside wall separating it from the corridor, and its floor was made of dirt and debris. I crossed through the unfinished room to the door on eastern end of the northern wall, thinking that i would be heading out to a side alley. Instead, we walked through the large glass doors of the museum and came out onto the side street to the northwest of the building. The museum was in the middle of an older section of the city. The buildings around us seemed boarded up, but not abandoned. The grey stone building right across the street, to the northwest, had cinderblock walls in the large archways of its old windows, as though it had been converted to a factory or work space. The street in front of us ran to the northeast, where it joined the main east-to-west street on the north side of the museum. We were on the opposite side of the building from our car, so we walked to the north and then rounded the eastern side of the building. I recognized the main street to the north as we walked a short distance down it. I was then heading to the southwest, into the gravel parking lot which was nestled in a corner of the building. There was a large silver can in the center of the parking lot. I remembered that the old man had given us the old car, and we had driven it to the museum. The car was large and rather expensive. I felt that the old man was trying to provide us with expensive things so that he could be our benefactor. As i approached the car, i noticed that two teenagers were standing near the back of the car. I felt suspicious of them and thought that they might be trying to steal something from the car. As i came close to the car, they ran away, making me think that they were up to something. I looked over the back of the car as i opened the trunk, trying to determine if the had done anything to it. Nothing seemed to be wrong with the car. I put my things in the trunk and closed the hatch. This car was a Silver Phantom, a Rolls Royce. It felt strange to have such an expensive car, and i considered selling it so that i could have enough money to pay for my art. I walked to the driver’s door and stepped into the car. I then realized that $F1 was in the back seat, under a sheet. The back of the car now seemed like the inside of a hooded truck. $F1 was trying to make out with a woman under the sheets. I wondered if the teenagers knew that they were in the back of the car. $F1 must have come out of the museum ahead of me. I turned around to drive the car home, but the woman who was with $F1 jumped in the driver’s seat and started driving. I felt annoyed with her forwardness. I then realized that she did not respect the quality of the car. She started driving very fast down the street, making sharp turns around other cars. She was treating the car like something that had to be shown off, and i was annoyed with her. I told her that the car was very expensive and that she should drive it more carefully, but she ignored me. She continued to drive the car quickly and erratically. I became very angry with her and tried to stop the car, but she resisted. I grabbed her and threw her out the driver’s door of the car. I did not care if she got hurt. I then closed the door and started driving the old car myself.