12001 November 01
I walked to the east, across the short lawn of the house. It was dark out. The lawn was small and rose up hill slightly toward the sidewalk to the east. The grass was thick, though i knew that it was late in the autumn, and there were three small pine shrubs in the middle of the lawn. I noticed the bowl of leftover candy from Halloween sitting just to the east of the middle shrub. I stepped over the shrub and picked up the bowl, thinking that i would have a lot of candy to get rid of now that Halloween was over. I then noticed that there were several other pieces of candy on the lawn. I turned to the north to pick them up. Just to the west of the northern shrub was a square silver package of candy. I reached down and picked it up. It was a package of Peppermint Patties. I realized that it was not a package of candy that i bought, but i emptied it into my bowl anyway. I then decided that i really did not like Peppermint Patties, and thought that i could always give the candy to someone else. I continued to the north, picking up other items which had been dropped on the lawn. I then turned to the west and noticed some things on the ground near the house. The front of the house had a small room off of it, which seemed to be an old porch that had been closed in. The walls of the porch were large glass windows. It seemed that the drapes inside had been pulled closed. The house seemed dark. There was a square slate tile just off the northeast corner of the front room of the house. It was under the white aluminum downspout from the gutters. There was a green apple in the middle of the tile, with a candy bar in a bright metallic wrapper to the north of it. I thought that i should pick up the candy and put it with the rest. I wondered who had thrown the candy across the yard. As i approached the square slab of stone, i remembered that the apple had been mine. I left it in the house on the counter. I looked down and noticed that there was a candy cane to the southeast of the apple. The candy cane was really a pretzel shaped like a candy cane. I wondered how these objects got here. I knelt down to grab the apple. As i reached for the apple, i felt a dull pain along the right side of my upper nose. My head turned to the left and i started to fall backward. I realized that someone hit me. I thought that i had to get back up in case they tried to attack me again.
I stood on the north side of the road. This seemed like the intersection on $P111 just before the first bridge. There seemed to be construction work on the road, though there were several vehicles driving down the road. I watched a bus pull out from the road to the south and turn west. I looked down, noticing that the shoulder of the road near me had been dug out. There was a sharp drop off at the edge of the road. The front tire of the bus ran along the edge of the road, and i thought that it might fall off the edge. The bus rounded the corner quickly and turned onto the bridge to the east, where it came to a sudden stop. The road was blocked by construction workers. I seemed to be standing on top of a short hill right at the north edge of the road, looking down at the people on the road. The bus backed up and started to turn back to the south. I watched its front tires again as they came very close to the edge of the road. This time, they rolled over the edge. The buss tipped to the side and fell off of the road, landing on the grassy hill to the west of me. A concerned construction worker rushed to the side of the bus and tried to prop it back up. He pushed it back onto the road. I moved to help him, mentioning that i had been worried about the bus driving over the edge of the road.
12001 November 03
I walked into my bedroom. I felt very sleepy. It seemed as though i was sick and needed to get some rest. My parents were in the house. I could hear my mother doing something outside my bedroom door. The sound moved to the east. I then heard a vacuum cleaner in the small room to the east. She was cleaning up my house again. I turned to walk toward my bed when two people walked into the room. $A319 was carrying something, and he was followed by $A212. I felt happy to see them. I greeted them as $A319 walked past me and placed something on the bed. I sat on the western edge of the large bed and spoke to them as they did something. I felt as though i wanted to talk to them about something personal. I felt depressed and wanted to be with friends with whom i could relate. I turned to look to the south, back toward the door. $A212 was carrying something in his hands. I noticed that he was wearing a black sleeveless vest. My view of him was fuzzy, as though i was looking at an old dirty photograph. I could see sweat on the skin of his shoulder as he carried the object toward me. He was looking down at the square thing in his hands. I thought that he had a nice build. I thought that he must have been exercising lately. I thought about hugging him, but remembered that he was too religious, and would probably disapprove of physical contact. I watched as he passed. I then turned around to look at $A319, who was placing something on the other side of the bed. $A319 looked much heavier than he used to. I stood up and started to talk to others in the room. I realized that there were many people from $P55 here. They walked around my bedroom as i spoke to various people. I thought that they might like the decorations in my room. I then noticed that $A295 was standing under the web which i had hanging on my ceiling. She seemed to be playing with the black threat. I thought that the thread had been pulled down from the ceiling. I suddenly felt worried that the people were breaking things in my room. I walked over to where the thread was hanging and tried to fix it. I then spotted one of the children pulling the pictures from my wall. I scolded him and he ran away. I walked over to the pictures, which were still on the wall, but which had been moved so that they were all crowding each other. They were small pictures cut from cardboard and held onto the wall with Funtack. I pushed the pictures on top back up the wall, trying to space them out again. I felt annoyed with the people here. I turned and made a comment to the young boy who had messed up the wall.
12001 November 04
I left the group of people and started to drive through the city streets. The old stone buildings around me were several stories tall, and the sky was bright blue. I had just left $A42 in the building, but i had to return to him. I looked around at the streets as i passed. I knew that i would have trouble returning because there were so many one-way streets in the downtown area. I tried to remember the way back to the apartment. I knew that i had to turn to the left and start heading west. The city around me felt comfortable. It was an older city, but was not too populated. I then noticed the white street sign over the intersection ahead. The crossing street was Albany Street. I thought that the name was appropriate as i turned left onto the street. I recognized the streets around me. $A42 had given me directions from here before. I realized that i was simply retracing my steps to his house. I slowed down, though, as i remembered that there was a trick to the directions. I was on the left side of the three-lane one-way street. There was a small park ahead and to the southwest of me, on the left side of the road. The left lane of the road curved to the south in front of the park. I remembered that this road led back to the house, but it was a one-way street heading toward me. The instructions which $A42 had given me led me to the west and around the park. I remembered that it was a complicated route to bypass the one-way street. I also remembered that $A42 had said that there was a way to turn at the intersection, but that it was very complicated to describe. I pulled off to the right side of the road, just beyond the intersection. I could not figure out what to do. I looked back at the intersection, noticing a small road just before it. I wondered whether i could have turned down that road and made it over to the next street. I was unsure whether that was the correct way. It seemed an easy enough way to describe, so i thought that it could not be correct. There was a woman standing across the street from me. She turned around and started walking over to my car as i stood looking at the intersection to the southeast of me. I commented to her that the road is now one-way. I made it seem as though i had not been here in a long time and that the road had been passable when i used to come here. She smiled in acknowledgement. I was then in a long room talking to the woman. She was one of the people in the house. I joked with her, feeling pleased to talk to her. I then walked to the east, down the corridor of $F1’s house. The walls were light green. I passed $F1 in the hall as i moved. We were getting ready to go somewhere. As i came to the end of the corridor $A320 walked out of a room from the south side of the hall. He was getting ready to go with us as well. He looked as though he had just come out of the shower and was still getting dressed. $F1 walked into the room to the south behind $A320. I spoke to them, feeling excited to start on the trip. I then noticed that $A320 was well built. He had nice detail around his shoulders and upper arms. I was interested to go on the trip with him, thinking that i could get to know him better. I then felt uncomfortable here and started walking to the west. $F1’s father seemed to be in the next room.
I ran across the narrow bedroom, heading to the west. The house seemed dark. I came into the stairwell at the west end of the building and turned to the north to head down. I then noticed water dripping from the ceiling. There was a puddle of water on the landing between the two sets of stairs. There was also a steady trickle of water falling down on the lower end of the black wooden railing. It had been a long time since the house had been repaired. I stepped around the drips and headed down to the first floor. This place was $P19. I thought that it was still in pretty good shape, even though it had been abandoned so lone ago. I felt as though the world in general had been abandoned, as though people had fled for someplace else. The rooms of the house were dark and draped with thin cobwebs. I passed quickly through them, heading to the east across the first floor. I thought that the older buildings were still holding up, even though no one was around to take care of them. As i crossed the dining room of my parents’ house, i spotted my grandmother sitting on the couch in the back room. She was waiting to leave. I stopped and turned into the back room. I flew over the floor to the couch. She seemed sleepy, but i asked her some questions. I felt impatient and wanted to leave, but they were not ready to leave.
12001 November 05
I walked through the first floor of the house, heading to the south. The house was small, and seemed to have only one room on the lower floor. The small room had white walls, and was crowded with old worn furnishings. This seemed to be my apartment. There was a large screened-in porch to north of the room and a smaller front porch to the south. I looked out the front door of the house and noticed a large brown bear lying on the grass right in front of the house. It seems to have been staying there several nights. I thought that it was dangerous to have a bear staying so close to the house. I had to get it to move. I tried making noise. I looked down at it through the window on the side of the house, holding open the white curtains as i did so. I made a noise to spook the bear, but the bear woke and started to growl. I ran back through the house and came out in the back patio. The patio was surrounded by screens, which were held in place by the white support beams of the ceiling above. I saw the large brown bear lying on the dirt ground to the west of the door back into the house. It was asleep, but stirred as i made noise. I felt annoyed with my self, thinking that it was my own fault that the bear had gotten into the house. I must have left the back door to the patio open. The bear came in seeking shelter. The bear looked at me over its shoulder, surprised at my presence. It stumbled up suddenly. I ran back into the house. I was afraid that the bear might attack. I closed both doors of the house, aware that the bear was still waking in the front yard. I wondered whether i could make loud noises to scare the bear away. I then wondered whether i could get a loud ultrasonic speaker. The noise might be annoying to the bear but not bother others in the neighbourhood. I walked to the west as i thought. I wondered how i was going to get the bear out of the house. It had been living under the foundation. I could see the metal beams crossing above the dirt basement. The bear was sleeping on the south side of the long rectangular pit. It woke and started to growl at me. I walked across the metal I-beams, trying to stay out of its way. The dirt basement of the house was flooded with water, and the bear was trying to swim. I had to move across the beans to the west to get out of the building. I wondered whether the bear would be able to swim, or whether it would be trapped in the water. I then fell off the rusted beams and ended up into the water. I quickly reached for the beams and pulled myself back out of the water. I thought that the bear would be able to pull itself up as well, but it simply splashed in the water to the southeast, trying to reach the beams and come after me. I ran to the west and came out into the unfinished kitchen. The floor of the kitchen had been torn up, and the walls seemed to be covered with bare age-darkened wood. I realized that the counters in the kitchen had been moved around. The peninsula, which used to be on the eastern end of the kitchen, was now on the western side. It crossed most of the length of the kitchen from the north wall. In the center of it was the sink. I thought that there should be a lot more counter space on which i could cook. It would now be more convenient to chop vegetables on the counter and then toss them into the garbage disposal in the sink. The eastern end of the kitchen also had more floor space now that the counter was moved from the center of it. I walked around the south side of the peninsula, looking at the silver counter-top stove along the western wall. I then wondered whether the sink was still hooked up. I remembered that the people had simply lifted up the long tan counter in the center of the room and rotated it around to form the peninsula. I thought that the pipes of the sink might have been loosened. I imagined the silver gasket turning with the rotating counter, unscrewing itself as it rotated. I looked under the sing at the tan plastic pipe that ran from the drain to into the ground. It looked as though it did not fit well where the metal part of the sink fit into the dark grey plastic tube from the floor. I grabbed the two pieces and moved them against each other. I realized that the joint between the two pieces had been broken. There was a tan piece of plastic pipe around the joint which had cracked unevenly around the width of the pipe. I noticed that the top pipe had been punched to the right a little. I thought that the counter must not be centered perfectly over the pipe. I would have to buy another tan piece of plastic pipe to join the top half and the bottom half, and the pipe would have to be at an angle to make the fit. I looked up to the north end of the peninsula. I could see where the white counter had been pushed against the wall. The length of the counter between the sink and the north wall was just a little bit too long, forcing the top pipe to the south. The counter could not be moved to the north any further without being cut against the wall. I turned to the east and looked down at the object that i was carrying with me. I seemed to be dabbing paint onto the board in my hand. The woman asked me about the kitchen, and i told her how i was redecorating it. I then moved to the north wall and started dabbing the white paint onto the grey surface. I showed the woman how i had made the splattered designs with the brush as the older woman watched. I told them that i once had an art teacher in high school who had made a similar design by gluing pieces of canvas to a cabinet that the students had been painting on. When he had pulled off the canvas, the artwork had come with it, creating rough images on the canvas. The younger woman asked what she could do to help with the house. I told her that i was an artist and that i could do just about anything. I then pointed to the large grey canvases which were hanging from the north wall, indicating that they had to be painted. I looked across the small yard to the west, which had several canvases hanging in it. There was a large red canvas draped over the front of the old barn to the northwest. The older woman wandered the yard between the billowing canvases. Several colourful canvases lined the south side of the yard, fluttering to the northeast as the wind blew. I thought that i would be painting those canvases soon. The woman to the west then started talking about the colourful tie-died tapestries which were hanging over the wooden beams of a small kiosk on the north side of the yard. They billowed in the wind as she grabbed the end of one. They seemed to be made of a light-weight cotton, which seemed to be like a bed-sheet material. I told the woman that the tie-died tapestries were not my designs. I wanted to redo the house with my own tapestries and with new decorations. I turned to the south and walked into the large room of the house. There were several people putting things together again, rebuilding the house. There was a large white grand piano being finished in the wide part of the room to the east. The floor of the room was made of polished wood. I wondered whether this building was part of the college cafeteria. I walked toward the piano, climbing down the flight of nicely polished wood stairs. I thought that i might be able to play beautifully on the new piano. I knew that i could not play piano, but i felt hopeful that what i played would sound good on the new instrument. I then noticed the people to the east moving some items. There was a drop off just beyond where the people were, where the floor had not yet been finished. I hoped that they did not drop anything over the edge. I knew that there was nothing below except the support girders of the building. Farther below that was the water of the indoor pond. $A321 was working on something in the south wall of the room. He was wearing a dark-grey shirt and had a leather utility belt around his waist. I turned bark to the west and started to move to the other side of the room. I then heard the sound of a hand saw cutting through wood. I looked down at he wooden bench which was along the north wall. The boards under the bench were bending downward. Someone was cutting the boards from below. They were trying to remove the boards so that something else could be put in their place. I bent over to get a better view of the polished wooden floor boards under the bench as they were removed from below. A called down to the man, asking him what he was working on. Someone then said something from the south, and all attention was turned in that direction. There was something urgent, and the mood in the house felt suddenly tense. I looked to the south, across the wide wooden floor of the room to see a cluster of small white snakes all over the floor. The snakes were slithering in my general direction. We knew that, if everyone in the room froze, the snakes would not come after them and bite them. I realized that the snakes were coming right for me, however, so i moved slowly to the east. The snakes watched me as i moved out of their way. Once i was out of their direct path, i stopped so that they would not come any closer. The person to the south was saying something urgent. There was something happening, but i was afraid to move for fear that the snakes would attack me. The snakes turned suddenly to the northwest and started to collect in the narrow part of the room, just inside the doorway to the next room. As i watched them, there seemed to be many small white things on the floor other than snakes. There were all sorts of animals. Most of them were tiny white sheer with black heads. I thought that the people in the room should be careful of them. They should not step on the small sheep. I then realized that they were really white bugs, and they were flocking to the northeast. I felt confused. Someone must do something about this crisis.
12001 November 06
I looked over the map as i moved to the east, walking to the north of my mother. We had just arrived to this area. We were in a foreign land. I felt slightly uncomfortable here. I remembered that there was a great deal of hostility toward Americans in this country. I wondered whether it was really safe for us to be traveling. It seemed that we were in Egypt. I looked ahead of us to see one of the large pyramids standing to the south of us. It was made of a dark, almost black, stone. There was a man standing in front of it, wearing a white robe and turban. He watched us as we approached. I remembered that the pyramids were supposed to be very large, and thought that the size of the structure should make it seem impressive from where we were. I looked up at the dark stone and thought hat it did not seem to be that tall. I then wondered whether we were simply too close for it to seem impressive. We turned and started to walk to the northeast. We had to get to the place where we could see the pyramid. My mother walked to the west of me, looking over the map. I told her that this was the correct way. The road on which we were walking was dry tan dirt and had small green dry grass growing on either side. Farther down the road, there seemed to be taller trees with green leaves. There seemed to be a main paved road running to the north of us. Someone else was with us as we discussed the route on the map. There was a fork in the road ahead of us. It seemed that both roads curved slightly to the west. I pointed to the road on the left side of the fork and told my mother that it would lead directly to the pyramid. I also said that the other road would lead there in a little while. I wondered how both roads could come out in the same place when they seemed to diverge from the intersection. I said again that they both eventually led to the pyramids.
12001 November 07
I bent over the cash register in the store. It seemed as though the store was about to close. I had to clean out the cash register for the evening. I was on the east side of the room. There was a wooden cabinet along the wall, just past the aisle of registers. I carried my register over to one of the openings in the cabinet and placed the machine down. I pulled the piece of white paper from the top of the machine, thinking that i would have to save the receipt for accounting. The paper tore from the left side of the machine. I then realized that there should be a second roll of register receipts inside the machine on the right side. I wondered whether i would have to open up the machine and remove the roll. I tried to remember what i had done before. Some people moved around me. They also worked for the store. I looked to the south to see a man standing in the parking lot just outside of the building from me. There seemed to be a large opening in the wall to the south. The man was dressed in light-blue overalls and was pulling a hand cart from the west. He said something to me and i chuckled at the joke. I continued to pull the second roll of tape from the register. I stood up and looked around the gravel lot around me. I was standing to the east of the building, in a small area covered with grey gravel. It seemed like the back lot of the store. There was a tall wooden fence surrounding the lot, though it seemed as though there was an exit to the south. I looked to the northeast to see a green car in one of the small stalls against the east wall. I then wondered where the rest of the cars were. It seemed as though the lot should be full of old cars. The cars were from the sixties, and were in good condition, but there should be more in the lot. I remembered that the man in the overalls had been moving the cars from the store into the lot. I pictures him standing just outside the garage door to the south of me as he towed a red and white coup across the lot. Something seemed wrong with my memory, though. I thought that the memories were inconsistent. I tried to remember where the cars had gone. I turned to the north and started walking down the large hall of the school. I thought that i might have simply dreamed about the man towing the cars. I knew that the cars should be here, though. I decided that i should head back down the stairs and back to the south side of the building. I turned to the west and started down the wide wooden stairs. They were made of polished light-coloured wood and descended quite a way into the ground. I thought that all of the other people were probably still on the south side of the building. I passed a small landing in the middle of the stairs. There did not seem to be anyone else in the corridors of the building. I wondered whether i would get stopped for not belonging here or for not being in a classroom. I remembered being in a building like this before. This situation felt familiar. I came to the lower floor of the building. The stairs had descended down the center of a long atrium. The walls were made of dark stone and were nicely polished. Everything about the building seemed new and clean. I headed to the west, through a square doorway and into another corridor. I should get back to the others.
12001 November 10
I was in the back seat of the large automobile. $F12 was with me as we moved down the road to the south. It seemed that we were traveling again. I remembered that we had been driving before. I felt as though i had just woken up. I turned so that i was facing the front of the car, still lying down across the seat. $F12 was looking at something on the front dash of the car. I watched the highway approach us. There seemed to be a curve ahead. The road was turning slowly to the southeast. I remembered that we had traveled this way before, but it seemed a lot easier to go now. I felt relaxed and thought that we must be coasting down the road. The area around us seemed to be on the outside of a large city. There seemed to be many businesses around, and everything seemed to be different shades of tan.
12001 November 11
I was fooling around with the group of men. It seemed that they were in some kind of contest. The others watched us as we joked. Then one of the directors pointed out a few of the men. The tall thin director with the black fuzzy hair pointed to me and said that i they wanted me in the group as well. I was surprised that i was chosen to be in the new boy band. It did not seem likely that i would fit in with the others. I knew that i could do the music, but i did not think that i did not fit the image. The director then told us to get together so that he could take a picture of us. I felt uncomfortable here. The other four men knelt down to my right. The director told me to get closer to them. I crowded into the edge of the picture. The director then told me to look to the left. I realized that my thinning hair could be seen if i looked directly at the camera. I turned my head to the left, but realized that you could see less of my hair loss if i turned the other way. The director then told me to turn the other direction. I did, looking at the man next to me. He said that it was better. I leaned against the man to the right and waited for them to take the picture. I felt out of place here. I knew that i was older than the rest of the men. I thought that i might be too old to fit the image of a pop singer. I rested my chin on the shoulder of the man next to me while waiting for a picture. He was wearing a bright blue shirt. I glanced out the window to the south as i kept looking to my right. I could see the small buildings of the crowded city.
I leaned forward from the back seat of the car. My parents were in the front seat. We were traveling on the country road, trying to get back to someplace. I felt somewhat impatient and wondered when we would get there. It seemed that we had been traveling for a long time. I stepped out of the car as we paused on the side of the road. I thought that i would head back to the cabin. I imagined flying to the west. I passed over the green trees of the thick forest and landed on the brown dirt near the small house. I seemed to be in a narrow valley, with steep hills on the east and west. There was a thick forest growing to the north. I looked up the winding road which came out of the forest to see my parents’ car driving around the corner. I had beaten them here. My mother was surprised to see that i had made it here before them and wondered how i did it. I knew that i had been able to fly. I turned and quickly walked into the small single-story house which sat on the east side of the road. This was the hotel where we had been staying. I felt very stagnant here and had a strong desire to get out. I was eager to get our bags and leave. As i approached the back door to the house, i saw $A16 coming toward me. She owned this place. I walked into the small bedroom from the west and looked around for my bags. I felt very agitated and wanted to leave as soon as possible. I remembered that i had to get my car from the back lot of the house. I was then out in the driveway again. I turned to the west to see me father backing the small Volkswagen into the driveway near the house. I thought that they could pack their things in that car while i would take my things to mine on the other side of the house. $A16 then asked how we would get the car out in the snow. I remembered that it had snowed a lot over the last few days. I wondered how i was going to get my car around the house. I wondered whether i had driven it on the back lawn to get it there. I then remembered that there was an old dirt road which ran through the woods from the east of the house. I thought that i would never be able to move the car in the snow, but i was determined to try. I had to leave this place.
12001 November 13
I traveled to the north on the winding country road. I seemed to be headed to the cottage at $P26. There was someone in the car with me. I described to them how i had come to the cottage a long time ago. I knew that i could still get there, thought he roads felt unfamiliar to me. It seemed that i was traveling through small towns and intersections that i had not seen in a very long time. The land around me was covered with farm fields, but there were many large dense patches of green trees. The leaves seemed dull green in the grey light of the evening. I turned to the west and started traveling down a road which would pass through a small town. I felt strangely uneasy traveling this road again, as though i was not really sure what i would find as i moved along. The road ahead seemed to be entering a shallow valley, with a small river running to the east. I was entering the valley from the east, on the north side of the river. The center of the valley to the west seemed to be a shallow lake. Though i could not see the water, i felt as though the east side of the valley was swampy, with thinning trees. I followed the road along the north hill, heading to the west. I knew that the cottage would be close, and i tried to picture what the road would look like ahead. It seemed that the road was abandoned or rarely used. I felt discomfort, as though there was something haunted about this place. I then turned to the south and started to cross the old metal bridge. The green crisscrossing beams formed arches on either side of the bridge. The bridge had been under construction, and was not drivable. There seemed to be a construction crew to the east of the bridge. I had a feeling that the bridge was derelict. We would have to cross on the large beans which ran along the outside of the main deck. I vaguely remembered having to do this long ago. I picked up the blue plastic clothes basket and carried it toward the left side of the bridge. I imagined that i would have to hold the basket against my body with my left hand as i walked on the beam. I would need my right hand to hold onto the bridge so that i did not fall into the water. As i started crossing the bridge, it seemed that i had just crossed over two bridges previously. This was just another bridge on the way to the cottage. I looked down at the shallow water on the near edge of the river. There was a window floating on the shore just below me. I thought that i should be able to place some weight on the window and use it to get over the water. I carefully stepped down onto the multi-paned window, which was in a red wooden frame, and tried to cross the narrow water to the gravel wash. After i reached the wash, i picked up the window, thinking that i could carry it over to the main section of the river and use it to cross in the same manner. I then realized that there did not seem to be any more water to the south of me. The river had been drained. I remembered something from a long time ago about the reservoirs getting drained. I wondered whether it was related. I had an image of walking out onto the dry ground in the middle of the reservoir with my father. I wondered whether it had been a dream. I looked to the south to see the cement wall on the other side of the riverbed. I was inside of a large cement tunnel. It was very dark to the west, but the light from the grey sky shined in from the east. The narrow stream of water seemed to be coming from the east as well. I walked away from the metal bridge, which now seemed to be within the tunnel. I was surprised that the level of the river had been reduced so much. The land outside seemed dry. The land was higher than the riverbed, with steep dirt cliffs where the water had eroded the soil along the eastern bank. The river made a sharp turn to the north as it left the tunnel. There seemed to be a large tree right at the top of the small cliff to the east, its roots exposed where the soil had eroded around the corner. I looked up stream, to the north to see that the riverbed continued to curve to the northwest. I noticed a small house along the edge of the riverbed. It was not at the level of the land around us, but at the level of the river. I thought that it was new. The people must have built it after they drained the river. I wondered whether they realized that the river could still flood. Their houses were in danger. I then noticed other houses around the area. There seemed to be a group of people setting up a small forested community. I rested the window on the ground and asked someone whether they realized that they had built their houses on a flood plain. The man nodded that he knew. I did not understand. It seemed that the houses would inevitably be flooded when the river rose again. I then moved over to the northeast, near the river bank where a young man in a dark blue shirt was standing. I asked him about the people who were building the community. He told me the name of the church to which they belonged. I felt slightly uncomfortable knowing that they were a religious group. A woman to the west walked over to the edge of the narrow stream of water and bent over. She also seemed to be wearing a blue shirt with a darker blue skirt. Then a man came up to me from the west. I was still standing next to the first man. The man who had walked up was older, and he asked me about the door which was standing next to my right leg. I looked down at the old door, which i had carried out of the tunnel. The white paint on its surface was bubbled and cracked with age. I told the man that i was going to use to door on my house. I could repaint it and make it new. It seemed like a nice door. There seemed to be walls around me as i spoke, as though i were in a room in a small house.
12001 November 15
I got out of bed and walked down stars. I was in my house. I felt anxious and thought that there might be something wrong. As i came into the living room, i noticed that there was a light on in the hallway to the other rooms on the first floor. I became suddenly nervous and tense. I tried to walk quietly as i moved through the corridor. I wondered whether i had simply left the light on myself. I turned off the light, but felt as though there was someone else in the house. I wondered whether the person heard me coming and simply hid. I turned the light off in the small room and continued down the hall. There was another light on ahead of me. The cellar door was ajar, and i could see the light from the other side spilling onto the floor. I felt tense again. I knew that i had not been in the cellar the night before. I could not have left the light on. I was worried that there was someone in the house. I cautiously opened the cellar door and started quietly down the stairs. I turned to the right and walked into the main room of the cellar. There was no one there. I wondered whether the person might still be in one of the small rooms along the side walls. Some of the doors were open, but none of the lights were on. I could not tell whether there was someone in any of the dark rooms. I walked to the south, across the brown and yellow tile floor. There was someone walking through the room with me. We spoke about the person who had been in my house. I then seemed to be in the living room of a community building. The walls were cement, and it seemed that the room was partly underground. There were small rectangular windows on the upper part of the west wall. The woman told me the man’s name. I pictured the words in my head. I could see the name typed out on the white card that i was now holding. I glanced over the first name but noticed that the last name was complicated. It did not seem like a real name. I noticed the “kth” in the middle of the name and suddenly realized that i had seen this kind of name before. The name ended with “kthikst”, and i wondered how the trailing syllable would be pronounced. I said it a couple of times, stumbling over the last part. I looked at the name again and spoke it. The card said “Maukrenkthikst”. I knew that he was the man who had come into my house. He was a very bad man.
12001 November 16
I jogged through the forest slowly, heading to the south. There was a man approaching me from the south, running along the narrow dirt trail. He had two dogs on leashes. The dogs seemed like golden retrievers and were both running on the west side of the trail. As the man approached, i noticed that he was actually in a small truck. The dogs were ties to the bumper and were running along behind. I wondered what the dogs would do if they wandered too far from the trail and found themselves on the wrong side of a tree from the road. I watched as one of the dogs galloped away from the truck. The dog was dark brown with light tan on its underside. It had a boxy snout and seemed as though it were part bloodhound. The dog walked around the west side of a tree. The rope pulled it suddenly back across the tree as the truck continued forward on the road. I thought that it was cruel to drag the dogs across the bark of the trees. They could get injured by the force of the truck, which pulled them around the trees before they could figure out how to walk back around themselves. I felt sorry for the dogs.
12001 November 17
I walked through the empty corridors of $P7. It seemed that i was visiting this place again. I walked to the south, down the north wing of the school. As i passed several of the empty classrooms, i glanced in at the chairs and desks inside. I started to notice that there were books sitting on various desks. All of the books were similar. They were paperback, and seemed to be packets of letter paper bound with a coloured cover. I noticed a yellow book in the first classroom on the south side of the hall. In the next classroom, there was a red book sitting on the teacher’s desk. I thought that these books must be part of some standardized publication. There were different publications for each subject and grade. I was curious about the books. I then found myself walking to the east, down one of the corridors which ran along the side of the main auditorium. I glanced into a large office on the north side of the corridor. The office was nicely decorated, but had few furnishings. There was a desk at the back wall of the office. I realized that the man sitting behind it was $A186. I stopped in the doorway and said hello. I did not expect to se him in the school. I knew that he had left the school a long time ago. I asked him what he was doing back in the school and said that it was good to see him. I felt slightly uncomfortable, though, finding someone that i knew in the building. I walked into the office, aware that there was a young woman to the south of me. $A186 asked me how i was, and i told him that i had been doing well. I said that i was just wandering around the school. I then mentioned the books that i had seen on the desks. I wondered what they were. He asked me about the books, and i described them to him. I wondered whether he already knew about which books i was talking. I told him that i had noticed the books because of the cover that was in a teacher’s room. I started to tell him the teacher by saying “Mister . . .”, but then paused as if i could not remember the name. I finally said $A48’s name. The woman looked at me as though she did not trust my answer. I told them that the book had seemed so interesting because if the design on the cover. I told them that it had a nice picture of a Fourier transform. I moved my right hand in the air as if tracing out the wave form i pictured. She did not seem convinced, so i went on with the conversation.
12001 November 19
I was on the large stage, trying to play some music. This was part of a performance, but i knew that someone did not want me to play. I felt desperate to play, and defiant of the people who were trying to prevent me from playing. They had sabotaged my earlier attempts to make music. I walked to the east, across the front of the stage, strumming the guitar as i went. I could hear the sound through the amps, which were on wither side of the stage. I felt as though i had to perform. The room suddenly became silent. I realized that the people had turned off the power. I felt frustrated and tried to think of a way to get around them. I knew that i had been able to elude their influence in the past. I thought that i should be able to do as i pleased this time, but i knew that they were more powerful than i was. They could stop me if they wanted to. I felt upset that i was not able to play music.
I ran into the small room at the back of the house. I was very upset. The others had stopped me from doing something, and i did not want to obey them. I felt enraged and no longer cared what the man in the room with me thought. I knelt down on the floor and shook my fists. I was bending forward, and my mouth was open as if i was shouting. I then realized that i might vomit the pills that i had been taking. I could feel them moving in the back of my throat. I realized that spitting up the pills would have a dramatic effect to the man who was near me. He would be concerned with my actions. I felt as though i had to do something drastic in order to be free of the influence of others. I gagged and spit out the small pills, which seemed light green. They fell into the small doctor’s bag which was on the tile floor in front of me. I then stood up and started shouting. I felt as though i should simply do, without thinking. I swung my arms around furiously and yelled to no one in particular. I was then floating over the ground in the room. I could tell that the other people around me were startled and confused. The ground under me seemed green, and i thought that i had moved out over a gold course. There was an old man walking toward me as i drifted over the green. I swung my arms at him as i passed, leaving him startled and bewildered. I yelled in his direction as i hovered in a circle around him. I knew that he was trying to help me, but i did not want any help from anyone. I wanted to be defiant.
12001 November 20
I looked to the east as i drove down the road which descended from the mountains. I seemed to be near the ocean, and i thought that this might be California. It seemed as though i had just crossed the railroad tracks, coming into $P3 from the park, though. There was a large wooden house to the east, along the south side of the tracks. It sat in an empty lot, which seemed to be a gravel driveway. I thought that building might have been part of one of the old factories. The roof of the building was made of old green roll tile. I thought that the building would make a nice house if it was redone. I then thought that it would be a very large construction project to actually convert the old factory building into a house. I was then inside the house, looking over the rooms. The thin boards of the wooden floor were covered with dust, and the flourished wood trimmings were dingy, but i thought that they could all be redecorated into a very nice house. I walked through the large empty rooms, heading to the north, the others in the room ahead of me. I would have loved to buy the house and fix it up. It was a very nice building, and would make a great house. I then thought that i could probably make a profit by fixing up the house and then selling it. The small rooms on the bottom floor could be converted into stores. I thought that this place might be made into a fancy shopping depot. I looked to the east as i approached the door on the north end of the room. There were several pieces of debris on the floor just to the east of the door. I thought that they might have been left from the factory. I then spotted the pipes running up the east wall between the large wood-framed windows. They would have to be decorated so that they did not seem so out-of-place. The people in the room to the north of me then said something about the clocks in the old factory. I looked down at the debris on the floor to see several of the paper clocks. They had two red hands which could be positioned to different times. I thought that the clocks were used for medical therapy. I remembered that Alzheimer’s patients used clocks to determine the level of their condition. I told the others that this place must have been a medical office. I walked to the north end of the room and headed up the stairs to the third floor of the building. The large room of the third floor was very bright, with large windows on the north, east, and south walls. I could see the wide blue ocean to the south and the rugged coastline to the east. There were many small white stucco houses scattered along the shore. The mountains to the north stretched an arm to the ocean to the east of me. The brown and tan rocks of the ridge seemed beautiful, with small mansions scattered on the upper surfaces. This building had a nice view of the surrounding area, and i thought that it would make a very nice house. This place felt very comfortable to be in, but i still felt very anxious here. I walked back down the stairs and into the tan room which was the doctor’s office. There was a large metal cabinet on the east wall, its doors open. The dusty medical supplies from the cabin had been strewn on the floor, at the foot of the cabinet. I commented on the small paper clocks that were scattered in the supplies on the floor. I made a comment to the others about the clocks. I told them that my grandfather had used the clocks to help with his Alzheimer’s disease. I then noticed the white letter-sized envelope that was on the floor. I picked it up and read the front of it. The postmark said that the letter was from Arizona. I realized that this place was in Arizona and thought that i could probably not convert this building into a profitable building. A small mall would not work in Arizona because the people there were more likely to go to the city centers. They would not go to small fashionable malls. I remembered what it was like in Phoenix. All of the people went to modern places rather than the nice old ones. I thought that they did not respect the old buildings.
12001 November 24
I left the house and started to drive to the east along the city street. There were short buildings around me, and many cars moving. I thought that i was supposed to meet up with my mother at a relative’s house on the way home. I then realized that the relative’s house was to the west of where i was. I seemed to be in $P3. I felt frustrated that i had not realized this before. I came to the traffic light where the main highway crossed the road i was on. The road i was on had curved to the north to meet the highway. I turned to the west onto $P88 and thought about how i was going to get to my relative’s house. I wondered whether i really knew how to get to it. I remembered that it was on a side road which turned to the north off the main road just on the other side of town. I pictured a blue house as i drove. I was then walking. I walked back into the large lecture room where i had been before. The people were still gathered there. I walked along the south wall of the room, where the lecturer had been talking. I felt confused and tried to remember where the house was. I realized that it was on a side road of a small town. I wondered whether i would be able to recognize it once i got there. I knew that it had been a long time since i had gone to their house. I was having trouble picturing it in my mind. I was not sure that i would be able to find it. I pictured a set of large blue houses on the east and west side of a small country road with trees all around. I could not remember where the road was in relation to the main road though. I came to the end of the room and stopped in front of an old metal-framed window. This place seemed to be the bottom floor of an old school building. Two young women had been talking as i walked toward them. They looked at me as i looked around on the west wall. I was trying to picture where the road to the east was, but i could not remember. One of the two women asked me if i needed any help. I felt uncomfortable, realizing that i must have seemed confused in the way that i was staring blankly at the window as i approached it. I told the women that i was looking for something. I turned to the north and headed through the doorway. I found myself in a stairwell, still trying to think of something to say to the women. They watched me as i moved. I stuttered a bit as i thought of the words, but finally said that i needed a map. I tried to remember whether there was a map at the entrance to the building. Someone seemed to be explaining that the old buildings had maps by the door so that you could see where you were in the building. I realized that i needed a map of the town, not of the building. I looked at the pale-green staircases which ascended and descended to the northwest of me. I could not concentrate on what i should be doing. I thought that the corridor to the west led down the stairs and out of the building. I knew that the map on the wall near the door would probably not help me. I turned around and started to head back into the main room. As i turned, i noticed a large map painted on the wall to the west of the doorway. It was blue and green. I looked at it but realized that it was a decorative map with little detail of the town. I continued back into the main lecture room of the building. We were on the lower floor. Someone still seemed to be talking to the students along the south wall of the room. I turned to the north in the center of the room and started walking through the empty chairs of the audience. People were standing around in small clusters talking. I noticed several of the young men who were laughing in small groups. There seemed to be something familiar about them. I stopped at the north end of the room and turned around. I kept watching the groups of people as i walked. Some of the men caught my attention as i passed. I then spotted one young man. He had short dark hair, and he was wearing a black sleeveless tee shirt and white pants. He looked back at me as i started to walk to the south. I then realized that he was standing with some other men in the crowd. One of the other men walked behind him and wrapped his arms around the man. The man smiled at me as the other man caressed his chest from behind. I thought that i had missed something that the group had done in the lecture. I felt that i was not a part of this crowd and would not be able to say anything to the man. I turned back to the south and continued walking.
12001 November 25
I watched the people to the east of me as they fought in a mock martial-arts battle. Spectators gathered around on the outside of the fight to watch. Some of them were from the media, with cameras and tape recorders. This was part of a movie set, and the fight was being filmed. I spotted Brad Pitt in the middle of the crowd. He was one of the actors in the fight. I thought that this fight might be part of the movie Fight Club. I turned and walked into the small room to the west. Brad Pitt was standing near me in the crowd. I stood by the desk on the south wall, thinking that i was not really part of this crowd. I felt excited to be here, but i did not feel as though i should talk to the others in the room. I then noticed that Brad Pitt was standing near me. This situation felt awkward as he leaned on the desk, placing his arms on either side of me. He was trying to act threatening, and i wondered whether this was part of the movie. I felt attracted to him, but i tried to act casually. I thought that i should not act too close to him. He then leaned against me, and i thought that this situation was getting very strange. I started to wrestle with him, trying to throw him to the ground. He slipped behind me and tried to grab me in a choke hold, but i managed to slip below his arm and push him backward, bending him back over my knee. He flipped over me and landed on his feet. I thought that it was a good move as i continued to wrestle with him. I wanted to try the move again, but i would have to hold his feet down the next time so he could not simply flip over.
12001 November 27
I watched the man step out of the elevator. The corridor around him seemed large, with polished brown stone walls. He was wearing a grey business suit, but there was something wrong with him. He stood, looking at me with his head bent slightly forward. There was a large yellow symbol over his chest, as if painted onto a picture of him. It was the Eye of Horus. I realized that the man was sick. I had some kind of cold in my chest. I could feel the discomfort as i watched the man, who was really me, walk back into the elevator. The symbol was important. I moved toward the man, whose long thin hair hung across his face. The silver elevator door closed in front of me. I tried to focus, but there seemed to be several other people moving around. I could not focus on the images in front of me. I knew that they were important and that they had something to do with my sickness.
12001 November 28
I walked to the southwest, along the sidewalk on the city street. I was walking with someone who seemed to be collecting money for charity. I knew several of the people in the houses, and seemed to think that i could get them to donate. I felt as though i might be taking advantage of the people though. Since the people in the houses knew me, they might feel pressured into donating money. I walked through the front door of a small house. It seemed small and confining inside. The colours of the room were very dark. There was a staircase to the southwest which descended from the second floor to the living room, where i was standing. The old woman, who owned the house, was slowly coming down the stairs as i spoke to her. The other person, who was collecting the money with me, stood behind me, in the doorway of the house. The doorway was on the southwest side of the northwest wall. I wrote something into a checkbook that i held in my hand. It seemed as though i was in control of the woman’s bank account. I knew that it was part of my job. I realized that i could sign checks for the charity no matter what the people in the houses said. I wondered whether i should be bringing the person around to the houses to ask for money. I turned to the east and started to walk back down the corridor of the office. There was a desk in front of me. I walked around the north side of the desk and started to look over the papers that were sitting on the top of it. I had been left to run the office. I knew that the real manager would be back within the week. I started to wonder whether i should be doing my job rather than trying to get the other people to donate. I felt that i could simply get all of the work done at a single time. I remembered that i was supposed to hire some helpers to do some of the work. I remembered interviewing them earlier. It seemed that $A221 was one of the people whom i interviewed. I thought that i should just hire him, because i knew that he wanted the job. I then wondered whether it would seem strange that i hired someone whim i knew. I then thought about hiring several people. IO wondered whether i would be able to make all of the decisions within a week. I felt confident that i could get the people working before my boss returned, but i wondered whether i could easily choose whom to hire.
12001 November 30
I spoke to the others as i stood in the small room of the building. This was part of the play, but i felt uncomfortable because i was not sure of my lines. I worried that i would not be able to do the play. I thought that i should have spent more time studying my lines. I tried to remember what my lines were, but i could not remember what i was supposed to say. I thought that i should go out to my car to get my script. I was then on the curb outside the building, standing at the back of my yellow car. I searched through the many books in the trunk of the car. I felt rushed. I could not find the script that i needed to do the play. I was then it the room with the others. They were actors from the play. One of the young men sat to the right of me and started talking to me. I could tell that he was interested in me, and i talked to him. We spoke for a few moments. He seemed interesting, but i did not want him to think that i was interested in him. I knew that he was interested in me sexually, but i had no such interest in him. I did not want to make him feel bad, however, by simply ignoring him. A second actor then came into the room. I could tell that he was suddenly jealous of me. He was interested in the young man who was talking to me. I wanted to tell him that i was not really interested in the young man, but it would have been awkward to do so. I felt humoured by the situation, but also uncomfortable knowing that the second man was so upset.