ZUDEMA

12015 December 01

I was doing something on the southern side of the long table in the large room. I seemed to be near the southwestern corner of the room, where a door led out. Other people were around the table, doing things that seemed like crafts. I moved to the western end of the table, talking with someone. $A666 was at the table to the east of me, working on something. I chatted with him for a moment, but then i focused on something that i was doing on the table in front of me. I seemed to be looking at the papers on the table. I was talking about the costumes that we were doing, thinking about a character that i was supposed to play. I told the person that i wanted to do a rock show in a leather skirt. I was actually thinking of a kilt. I tried to picture what the character would look like. I imagined that i would have to wear a light jacket without a shirt under it. It seemed like a nice character. The man to the east of me then moved forward and kissed me on the lips. I was surprised and back up a little. I looked up to see that it was $A667. He looked at me as if trying to figure out what i was thinking. It was strange that he had kissed me, and i wondered why he had.

12015 December 02

I was jogging to the west across the grassy yard. I had been this way before, and i remembered the scenery. It felt good to be here, but i also felt tired. I paused at the road, which ran from the north-northwest to the south, separating the large grassy yard that i had crossed from another grassy yard. I knew that i had to got to the northwest. The road to the north would take me to the other main road, which would then take me west, but i knew that it would be shorter to cut across the yard across the street from where i was. I looked at the small stone church that was directly across the street from me, to the west. The grassy yard of the church was narrow and ran along the western side of the road. A short chain-link fence ran along the road side of the yard, and trees filled the view on the western side. The yard was crescent shaped, curving along the edge of the drop-off to the west and southwest. I looked across the grassy yard to the northwest, seeing that i could run close to the trees and head directly toward the road that headed west. I wanted to do it, but i was not sure that i could get around the fence. I noticed that the southern end of the fence was just past the church to the south. I could go around it, but i did not want to. I then noticed a gate in front of the church. I could have easily gone through the gate. I thought about this, wondering why i did not want to cross the church yard. I focused on the direction that i should take. The area behind me now seemed to be a grave yard. I looked to the north west, at the green grass. It was a bright sunny day, but it felt cool. I crossed the road to the west, but i was now jogging down the main road to the west. I felt as though i had a long way to go, and i felt very tired. I suddenly realized that the land around me was different. The land seemed forested on both sides, with bright green trees. A side road ran to the south just ahead of me. The steep hill to the south now seemed to be farther from the road, and i thought that the forested land to the south was wider here than it had been where i was. I had jogged very far already, and i wondered how much farther i would go. I then realized that i would have to turn around at some point. I could not continue to the west because i had started somewhere back to the east. I continued jogging to the west anyway. I thought that i had ridden my bicycle here before. I then remembered that i had also turned to the north somewhere. I wondered where i had done that and hoped that i had not passed the road to the north. I then noticed a traffic light ahead of me. It must be the road that i should turn on. I headed toward it and quickly approached it. As i approached the intersection, a large truck started turning to the north. It had come from the west, and it looked like a tractor-trailer with a metal quarry bin on the back. The front of the truck seemed metal and sturdy as well. I felt annoyed that i would have to follow the truck on the other road. It slowly made the turn in front of me. I now noticed that buildings were on the northern side of the road around the intersection. It reminded me of a small country town. I followed the truck down the road to the north. The road ran through a forested area similar to the one i had been in before. The tall trees were clustered very closely together at the sides of the road. Their tall skinny trunks ran straight along the sides of the road. The road went over a slight rise. As i descended the shallow hill on the others side, the truck was no longer in front of me. I also recognized this area from before. I had returned to the college area. Apartments and dormitories were on the sides of the road around me, scattered among the trees. I had already made it back to where i had started. I was surprised that i had been this close to the area. I then saw the map of the peninsula. The ocean was to the east, and the river or bay reached into the land, curving. The land was black on the map, and it seemed that the peninsula was a bulge of land protruding from the northeast into the narrow bay. I must have followed the curve of the river to the west and then northwest such that, when i reached the long straight road, i was actually curving back to where i had come from. I looked ac the area around me. The buildings were spread out on the hilly landscape. The low hill rose to the northwest, curving around to the west and north. A road ran to the north of me, meeting the main east-to-west road. The buildings around us were mostly modern and seemed to be of simply construction. The one just to the west of me was made of cinderblock. It looked like a firehouse, but it was actually a fraternity. A two-story white apartment building was on the hill to the west, and several other houses were on the hill to the northwest and north. I started jogging again, heading north. I had to get to the house where i lived, which seemed to be to the northwest of me. I looked in the large opening in the eastern wall to the west of me. I could see several metal racks arranged around the room. The place looked like a gym, but the racks also seemed to be for equipment storage. No one was inside the room, and the room looked very clean. I continued to the north, but thought that the people in the fraternity might chase after me because i had looked into their house. I felt a little nervous about this. I thought that i could hurry to the north and get around the corner before they could come after me. I hurried to the north. I headed to the west and then turned south into the front door of the fraternity house where i was living. The people from the other fraternity would have to get on their bicycles to follow me, but it would take them time. I would should be indoors before they could find me. I carried the things into the entryway of the house. The corridor continued to the south of me, where the hallway opened up to the east into a larger room. A doorway in the western wall of the entryway led into another room. I stopped near the white cabinets, which were along the eastern wall of the entry way. I had been carrying several small things, and i pulled open one of the drawers and put things in it. The items seemed to be toys. I had to put them away before something happened. I then noticed the small football dolls on the counter to the east. People were in the room to the west watching sports, and the purple and yellow football dolls were moving. The dolls were made of a glassy plastic, and they moved slowly as if playing the game. The dolls talked about the play that they were making, but something about their movements and their tight-fitting clothing seemed sexually suggestive. I grabbed the dolls, which now seemed to be made of a plasticine-like clay, and put them into a drawer to the north of the one i had opened before. I also put some other toys in the same drawer. I heard the others talking suddenly in the room to the southwest. They must have been responding to a play on the television. I closed the drawers. A woman was then to the north of me. She had some toys in her hands that she was trying to hand to me. I took the two model ships, which were ships from the old Battlestar Galactica series. One was a Cylon Raider and the other was a Viper. I looked them over, and mentioned to the woman that i already had my models and that i had put mine in the drawer. I opened the northernmost drawer to me sure. I then pointed out to the woman that her model of the Viper was white, while mine was gray. I showed her the one that i had put in the drawer. She seemed excited by the models. She then looked at the second ship, asking what it was. It was rounded in shape, and i knew that it was not as recognizable as the Cylon Raider from the newer series. I told her that it was a Cylon ship as she took it to look at it. I then noticed that the ship had four wheels that extended from the sides. The tires were large compared to the ship. The wheels were for rolling the ship around on the floor, and i realized that they changed the shape of the ship, making it harder for the woman to recognize the shape of the Raider. I pointed this out to her, saying that it had been modified for playing. She looked them over. I then heard the band playing in the room to the southeast. I spoke about the music with the other person. The band had been good, and i thought that the fraternity actually had a big band playing for them. The band was old, so no one really remembered them, but the fraternity had booked them to paly, and everyone had enjoyed them. The band was Guns ’n’ Roses. I was surprised that such a big band would end up playing at a fraternity house. The house also got an older rock-and-roll band to play for the house. The person was also a popular name, and he seemed to be someone like Jerry Lee Lewis. Several other lesser-known bands were also there. I talked to the other person about this. I then turned to chat with the brothers of the house, who were to the east of me. $F11 was there. It felt good to be talking with these people again. I talked about the band that would be playing here again. I then turned to the west, thinking that there was something special about this event. I knew that i would see the bands here again, I walked into the basement room of the house. No one was in the room anymore. The bands had played on the western side of the dimly lighted room. I moved to the west until i was in front of a shallow alcove in the northern wall. This had something to do with the bands. I wanted to mark this place because it was special in some way. I moved my hand in the air, writing the word “band” in large tall yellow letters. The letters formed across the opening of the alcove. This was a way of marking the area for later. I then said something to $F11 an i walked back to the east. I could hear music coming from somewhere. The others had already moved to the east and were now gathered on the porch on the southern side of the lawn. The porch was a wooden structure that did not seem to have a house to the south of it. It was just to the south of the street that i had walked down. The grass in front of the porch was bright green and reminded me of the church area i had run past before. $F10 was sitting on the western end of the porch, holding an acoustic guitar in his hands. The others were chatting to each other on the porch, but $F10 was trying to learn a song. He said that he was trying to learn the Guns ’n’ Roses song. I recognized the melody he was playing, and i told him that the chords to “Paradise City” were actually rather easy. I added that it was more complicated to play the riffs from the chords. I was referring to the main part of the guitar that slid from one chord to another. I talked with $F10 about playing the song, mentioning the chords G, A, and D. Others from the porch were listening as i described the sliding on the fast part of the song.

12015 December 04

I was watching the new Star Wars movie to the north of me. The action was taking place on the western side of the area. The movie had started off with a plot about the family. It was more of a family story. I then saw the ships moving through space for a space battle. The movie seemed to be over very quickly, and i did not think it was as interesting as i had hoped it would be. Nothing really happened in the plot. The movie just set up some ideas and relationships. I was disappointed in it. I moved around the southern side of the hotel room. I seemed to be somewhere in Europe, visiting this area for some event. I looked at the people in the room to the east. $F45 was with me, but i felt uneasy with him here. I recognized the others in the room as friends of $F45. They were the people that he went on tour with. They wore brightly colored clothing, and it seemed to be a long time since i had seen several of them. I noticed a woman with orange hair in the tall way to the east. I was standing near the southern wall of the room, and the hallway ran flush with the wall to the east. Something was in the room to the north of me, but a partitioning wall separated me from it. I was standing just to the south of the eastern end of the partitioning wall. A curved structure formed a wall to the northeast of me, creating the entrance to the hallway. The wall curved in a semicircle from the north, and a corridor ran down the eastern side of the curve, forming a hole in the northern wall of the hallway. The woman with the orange hair had come out of the eastern passageway and was now standing just to the east of the southern-most part of the curve to look at a poster on the northern wall. She wore black clothing, which had a powdered crinkly look to it. I told $F45 that i recognized her, but he told me that he was not sure that i had actually met her before. I wanted to talk to many of the people in the room, but, because they were friends with $F45, i felt that i could not longer keep in touch with them. I was not comfortable here, and i wanted to leave. I did not want to be around $F45 anymore. He was here with me, but he had been ignoring me. I turned to the south, thinking that i needed to shower. I stepped into the bathroom, looking to the east for a towel. The shelfs to the north of the bathtub were empty, and several blue towels were bunched up on the floor. The shelfs were wooden and seemed to be cheaply constructed. They were painted white. It looked as though all of the towels had been used up. I realized that $F45 had used several of them. He was in the bathroom to the south of me now. I felt annoyed with him. I continued looking around the bathroom for another towel. I moved to the south of the tub, where another set of shelfs stood. These shelfs were also made of wood, but they faced to the south, away from the tub. I spotted a yellow towel folded up on one of the shelfs. I grabbed it, but realized that it was a towel that had already been used for something. $F45 was standing to the south of the shelfs getting something from one of the lower shelfs. He was wearing a towel around his waist. I felt upset with him that he had taken the towels for himself and not left any for others, even though he knew that i had to take a shower. He looked up at me for a moment and then walked past me and headed to the northwest. I headed to the south, feeling upset. I was outdoors now, and the land around me seemed sandy. I followed a trail to the south, and the dense vegetation to the east of the trail was dry grassy weeds. People were swimming in the lake to the south and southwest. My father’s mother was with me, saying something to me. She seemed cheerful about being in the area. She seemed very young, and she grabbed my right arm as we walked, learning on it as she chatted. She then referred to the other women in the water to the south of us. My father’s mother seemed old, even though she looked young. I looked to the south at the woman that she was talking to. Three old women were fooling around in the shallow water near the beach. One of them was the sister of my father’s mother. The three women pushed each other as they laughed, getting mud over their bodies. My father’s mother complained about it, but did not seem to mind that they were fooling around like they were. She just seemed to consider it childish. I was surprised that the women were playing like young girls. I was also surprised that my father’s mother seemed to think this was regular behavior. I then turned back to the north and started back up the path, away from the beach. I immediately noticed a long line of people walking up the path. The function must have just ended and many people were leaving at the same time. The path dipped a little ahead of me and then ran up a long shallow slope, which rose about a meter from the low point. I noticed that Chewbawca was walking with the crowd. He was halfway up the hill. I then noticed an Ewock walking a ways behind him. Several other characters from the movie were just leaving, and i thought they must have just left part of the filming. I remembered seeing the movie before, and i remembered that i did not like it much. I had found it boring because nothing much had happened. The story just showed what people were doing without having any direction.

12015 December 05

I was with my relatives in the apartment. I seemed to be visiting this area, which seemed to be very nice. The apartment was on the top of a hill and seemed to be expensive. The hill descended to the south and seemed to overlook a city. I felt upset, thinking that i was sick. I felt depressed and hopeless about being sick. My relatives said something as they moved to the east, heading out to the porch of the house. I stepped out onto the porch, which was a balcony that overlooked the valley below. A low ridge ran east to west below us on the walleye floor, and it was covered with tall city buildings. A fog had rolled in from the ocean to the west or southwest. It colored the valley with bluish- and purplish-grays, but the buildings were reflecting the orange and yellow sunlight. The view was beautiful. Someone agreed. I wanted to take a picture, but i had left my phone inside. I hurried to the west to get it, hoping that the light did not change too much before i got back. The cell phone was sitting on top of a tall dresser. I grabbed it and ran back to the east. I turned it on and tried to activate the camera before i got outside. I stepped back out onto the porch. People were still gathered there, looking at the view. I tried to aim my camera in the direction of the buildings, but someone else was standing in the way with a camera. I felt annoyed. I moved and took a few pictures, but i could not tell if the pictures were good. I felt frustrated. I stepped forward but realized that the small balcony was swaying. The balcony was actually a small platform at the bottom of a set of stairs. The gray wood of the platform had a white metal railing on the edges. I had descended the stairs and was now on the landing with several other people. I realized that too many people were on the landing, so i took a step backward up the stairs. The landing rose again, lifting the stairs up with it. Someone seemed confused about what was happening, so i told them that the weight of the people was making the landing sag. I thought that it would fall down the side of the mountain, but then i looked down to the ground to the south as i stepped back onto the landing. The landing sunk again. I could see a hill descending toward us. The slope ran up steeply to the house, but then descended toward the house just a little way from us. The main part of the house ran to the west of us, extending down the slope a little way. The balcony was actually falling toward the ground, so it i said that it would not be a big deal if we had to jump off. I watched the dirt ground approach, and i stepped off of the balcony onto the ground. The balcony quickly ascended, and i realized that i would not be able to step back onto it. I felt annoyed, but thought that i would be able to climb back up the slope. I started climbing up the dirt slope, stepping over the heavy rots that were now on the ground. Tall trees stood just to the east of me. I pulled on the branches of several of them, climbing up a little. My father was then on the balcony above me. He had followed me and he was now reaching for the upper branches of the trees. He pulled himself off the balcony, and i worried suddenly that he might fall. He seemed very high off the ground. He was holding on to the chains that ran down from a horizontal wood beam that spanned between two trees. I worried that he would fall, thinking that he was too old to be climbing around in the trees. He lowered himself on the ropes, but did not seem to have the strength to hold his weight. He slipped quickly down the chains, and i was afraid that he would get hurt. He landed on the ground to the north of me, and i was relieved that he was safe. I asked him how he was, and he seemed to be okay. I then headed to the north, looking at the rough slope that ascended toward the house. We would have to climb back up it to get to the porch again.

I turned around and headed to the north, into the building. I was following the man, who seemed like $A520. I had been following him, though he was not aware of me. He walked down the long hallway inside the building, and i hurried to catch up with him. I had to talk to him about something, but i felt hesitant to do so. He turned to the west and headed into the darkened room, which seemed like a nightclub. It was actually part of the college, and it seemed like a place where the students gathered to hang out. I reached the northern end of the hall and turned to the west. I headed south into the room, entering through a doorway in the eastern end of the northern wall. The room was very dim, but i could see that it was crowded with students. They sat around the walls and down the low wall that ran to the south from the northern wall, just to the west of the door. I felt uncomfortable here. The students were watching me, thinking that i was some kind of authority figure. They felt this way just because i was so much older than they were. I felt that i had to find the man. The police were also looking for him. I realized that the students might think that i was trying to catch the man. I walked through the room, feeling uneasy because they were all watching me. I could not see where the man had gone. I wondered if the students were hiding him from me. I then turned to the north to see a police officer near the door. I tried to move into the crowd so that he did not notice me. I wondered where the man was. I spotted him for a moment to the north of me, in the center of the room, but then i could not find him. I then noticed that the police officer had started questioning someone who was standing along the eastern wall. He seemed to be distracted, and i thought that i could tell the man that he could slip out. I had to get close to him, but i felt that the students were trying to keep me from him. They did not understand that i was not who they thought i was. I wanted to tell the students that the man had to get out of here before the police found him.

12015 December 06

I turned to the south and headed down the dirt road, which ran between the low wide buildings, which seemed like warehouses. The buildings were simply constructed, with wood sides and metal roofs. It was a bright sunny day, and i had been inside at a conference for a long time. I thought that i should take the afternoon off. The sky to the south seemed very blue and bright. I had come to this area for the conference, and i now wanted to see what was here. I had been working most of the weekend, and it was now Sunday, so i thought i could justify wandering around to see the sights. I wandered through the building, thinking that it was a market place. I felt excited to see this area. I then focused on the green grass to the south. I was talking to someone, who was to the west of me. I was now sitting on a bench, and the man was sitting next to me. I did not know him that well, but he seemed very affectionate. I spoke to him as we sat on the bench, admiring the green plants to the south. The bench seemed to be on a porch now, which was set into the side of a building. I had been in the room on the second floor, but the bench was to the south of the room. He leaned against me, and he felt very warm. He seemed like $A668. I put my hand on his leg. He was wearing shorts, and i could feel the warmth of his thigh. He was quite a bit older than i, but something about him felt very comforting. I looked out at the lawn to the south, focusing on a patch of reeds. They were to the southwest of us, just before a shallow hill. The tall thin dry pale-tan stalks had fuzzy tops. I said something about them to the man. A path ran east to west under us, and it seemed to run just to the north of the grassy weeds. A second path ran to the south, to the east of the weeds, and the man pointed out a tall green plant that was growing just to the east of the path, near the intersection. The plant looked like a round metal rack with multiple green stalks. I noticed bulbous fruit growing on it. I looked closer and saw that the plant was inside a metal rack, and that the fruit was peppers. As the man looked at the peppers, i noticed a second rack of plants just to the east of the first. It seemed to have bananas on it. As i talked about them, they seemed to be red berries. We then noticed a cluster of other racks to the west of the walkway to the south. Someone was growing plants in special containers. It must be from the store that was in the next building to the west. I was swinging now, rotating from the south to the west, out over the balcony. The man seemed to be swinging me as we looked at the plants. As i swinged out, i could see the store to the west. I then thought that i might fall off the balcony, and i moved a little. The man released me, and i stepped down onto the sidewalk below. I had not been that high off the ground. I headed back upstairs. The wooden stairs led up to the north, running into the building from the southern end. They did not have a door covering them. As i reached the bedroom at the top of the stairs, i was still listening to the music. The song i had been listening to stopped, and another song was starting. I had been listening to The Beatles, and the song that was starting was “Sgt. Pepper’s Reprise”. The song was different than i remembered it, and i thought that it was an alternate recording. I had been listening to a song that was not the song before the “Reprise” on the album. I thought that these songs were being played on the radio as a special selection of alternate versions to Beatles’ songs. This version was different in some way. A voice then came on at the end of the song. I stopped on the wooden floor at the top of the stairs, just to the southwest of the small single bed with the long thin white spread. The voice said that the song was from the live musical. I could hear the audience clapping behind the voice. I had not realized that they had recorded that song at a concert. I had also not known that The Beatles had a musical when they were together.

12015 December 09

I sat on the northern side of the table in the kitchen, talking to the others. Several people were gathered here. The kitchen was rather large, and stretched to the east. This was part of my new house, and i felt good in this place. I stood up and headed to the east to get something. Someone asked me a question. Many counters and cupboards ran along the southern wall. A sink seemed to be near the eastern end of the southern wall, in the old cupboards. The house seemed large and old but in good shape. A dividing wall extended from the southern wall, separating a small area on the eastern side of the kitchen. Someone motioned to the machine that was just to the north of the wall, against the northern wall of the kitchen. I put my left hand on the counter to the north of me as i headed toward the machine. I said that it was a dishwasher, but that did not seem quite right. It stuck out a little beyond the level of the countertop, and it seemed to be in the way for people walking around the northern end of the dividing wall. I thought that i would have to remove it, but i did not want to get rid of a dishwasher. I said something to the others, who had come to see my house. I then realized that the dishwasher was in the eastern wall, just to the north of an entry door. I pointed it out to the others, and then referred to the machine near me as something else. It seemed to be a trash compactor. I felt better about removing the machine near me, thinking that i really did not need it. I looked to the south, along the eastern side of the dividing wall. Counters ran on the southern and eastern wall of the small area on the eastern side of the kitchen. A large metal refrigerator stood against the eastern wall, flush with the northern end of the dividing wall and just to the south of the entry door. It seemed an inconvenient place to get food from the refrigerator. I then noticed the deep sink in the southern wall, just to the east of the dividing wall. This must be the staging area for parties. Things could be taken from the refrigerator and prepared here before they were brought out to the main part of the kitchen. I opened the metal door of the refrigerator to get something. As i headed back to the west, i looked at the clock on the southern wall. The clock seemed to be at the end of the dividing wall, which was now wide. I tried to read the dial of the clock, but it did not quite make sense. I said something about the dials to the other person as i tried to read them. They were actually two semicircular dials next to each other. Both had needles in the center that rotated, and both needles were pointing to the upper right sides of the dials. A red liquid seemed to fill the arch from the left side of the dial. The needle quivered a little as i pointed them out to the other person, saying that they were really gauges for something. The two dials were now on the southern wall of the room, farther from me. I looked at them, wondering if they had something to do with the stove on the eastern side of the kitchen. I could not figure them out, but i tried.

12015 December 13

I stood on the road in the middle of the country area. The road ran to the east, and i stood on the southern side. A large grassy field stretched to the south of me. The field seemed to be bright green from grass. A low old barn seemed to be just off the road to the southeast of me. Someone was to the east, but i had to go somewhere. The road i was on seemed to end about thirty or fourty meters to the west of where i was. It seemed to end at a main north-to-south road. I had to find the others. I started running to the east, trying to catch up with the others. I felt anxious to find the others. I looked to the south, into the center of the Cornell Plantations. The other runners, who seemed to be part of $G4, had left the cars to the west and seemed to be heading this way. I was hoping to find them. I then noticed some runners heading up the hill to the south. The land to the south of me ran flat for a few hundred meters, and then it rose up a steep grassy hill in the Plantations. I watched the two or three runners. One was following a trail that ran diagonally up the hill to the southeast. Two more, one in a black jacket and black running tights, were following up the slope. I thought that they were $G4, so i started jogging to the south. I then thought that they might be headed to the landing on the eastern side of the park, where the bell was. I looked along the top of the hill, but i could not see any other people because the trees blocked my view. I came to the area where a field opened to the east of me. I thought about jogging across the filed to head straight for the overlook. Two young men were walking to the south across the field, chatting with each other. I noticed other people scattered in the field, some standing near the tall cement statues. I thought about heading across the field. I looked back to the south, now noticing people near the top of the hill. A larger group was on the eastern side of the top of the hill, most of them wearing gray sweatshirts. I They looked like $G4, so i started heading for them. They seemed to be heading to the east, but they were not moving that quickly. I could still cut diagonally across the Plantations to meet them at the overlook. I turned to the southeast and headed across a filed. The group of people was gathered near the top of the hill for the moment. As i started across an area of cut grass, i noticed a group of people very close to me. I realized that they were dressed in red hats and other running costumes. They were $G4, and they formed a semicircle that faced south. The people on the top of the hill must be the southern part of the circle. The group was much closer than i had expected. I headed toward the near end of the group, ducking down as i approached them, pretending to hide who i was. A few women near me looked over their shoulder as i approached. One called my name. I had been late for the group, and i was pretending to sneak in as if i had not missed anything.

I had to take a shower. I was in the new bedroom i had in my parents’ house. The bedroom was on the top floor of the western side of the house. I stood on the northern side of the room, thinking that i had to take a shower in the bathroom to the west. The room was bright white. I turned to the west to head into the bathroom, but i had forgotten something. I turned back to the east. The bathroom was at a higher level than the bedroom, and i had climbed a ladder to get to it. The ladder did not seem to be the best way to get to the bathroom, but it was all that was there at the moment. I tried to reach the top of the ladder with my foot, but i could not quite get it. The ladder then tipped to the south. I looked down the shaft into the room. The room was square and seemed to be almost ten meters below me. The tall ladder was leading against the northern wall of the room below me. I tried to get it, but it tipped to the south and folded up partly. It was a very tall step ladder. I felt annoyed. I could no longer reach it and i was trapped in the bathroom. I called down to my mother, whom i thought would be on the lower floor of the house. She did not answer. She must have been too far away to hear me shouting. I tried shouting again, but my voice did not quite seem to work. I felt annoyed and wondered what i should do.

12015 December 14

I turned to the south. I had just put my things near the northwestern wall of the room. This was my bedroom, and the large bed was against the northwestern wall. I had put down my bags to the southeast of it. $A645 was in the room with me. She said something as she placed something on the bed. She was leaving some of her clothes here. This seemed strange. I started to the south, and $A645 headed to the west to leave the room. I then realized that $A339 was in the room. she was dropping off some of $A645’s things. She said that $A645 was moving in to my house. I felt uncomfortable about this and did not want anyone moving in with me. $A339 put a stack of things down on the bed and walked back to the west to leave the room. I was not sure what to do. Unhappy, i turned to the south, looking at the dresser that was against the southeastern wall. Several things on top of it were not mine. I started to feel stressed and uneasy.

12015 December 15

I had left the house and walked to the west, down the darkened road. I was on the northern side of the road, where a wide pull-off ran for about fifteen meters. I picked up a branch from the side of the road and tossed it to the south. It arched over the road and fell down the steep slope to the south. I could only see the tops of the trees on the southern side of the road. I heard the branch hit something. It sounded as though it hit a window, but did not break it. I felt suddenly uneasy. I did not know that a house was down there. The owner might be upset that someone was throwing things at his house. I turned to the north and started pacing around at the eastern end of the macadam pull-off. I would have to wait here to be picked up. I then lifted into the air, wondering if i could hide in the darkness in case the man decided to see who threw something at his house. I floated above the trees for a moment. I thought that my mother would be driving here to pick me up, but it seemed as though i had been waiting a while. I wondered where she was. I paced back and forth on the side of the road, thinking about things. I wondered if the bus would stop at this place. I then saw a car coming from the west. I started moving to the west, wondering if i could head toward the house. I then thought that my mother might not see me an the road. I could call her and tell her that i would be walking, though. My father was then near me. The yellow car passed me. I told my father that i wanted to jog back home and said that i would meet him. He did not think that it was a good idea to jog back. He seemed worried about me. He said that i should stay no the sidewalk. It was now daylight, and the road curved to the northwest. I was jogging on the side of the road. I could see a sidewalk to the northeast of me. Someone was moving on it. I did not understand why my father was so worried about me. I then thought that i should not be on the sidewalk because it was too uneven to run on. My father told me again that it was unsafe to jog home. I moved to the western side of the street as the street turned to the north. It would be heading across the campus, which seemed like Cornell. I wanted to go faster, but i felt exhausted. I decided that i could just fly. I jumped into the air and started flapping my arms. I quickly started to feel exerted. I concentrated on flying, thinking that i would have to make it over the gorges that ran on either side of campus. I flapped my arms, but started to feel very tired. I was not breathing quickly, but i felt the strain as i pulled down my arms. I was still flying, but i felt it was too much effort to continue. I landed again, wondering what was wrong.

12015 December 16

I jogged through the forest, looking for something. The land rose up to the east of me as i followed the trail. I had been setting the tail earlier, but i was looking for something now. I noticed the shiny silver thing to the north. It looked like a long strip of cardboard that had been bent. It seemed to have a ring on one end, making me think that it was one of several long strips. I started to jog past it, heading up a hill, but i stopped to head north to get it. It was on the ground among the trees. The others had already run the trail to the east, but someone was up the hill to the northeast of me. $F43 called out as i approached the silver thing. I was not supposed to let people know which trail was which, so i did not say anything. I tried to move out of the way before she could make out who i was. As i picked up the metal thing, i looked up to the north. She was down a trail from where i was. The sun was shinning from the south, and the bright light seemed to blind here as to who i was. I did not want to let her know i was here. I tried to disguise my voice as i said that she should follow the trail. She said that she was now sure where the trail was, but i knew that i had just come off of it, so she should be able to see the trail marks. I turned and headed to the south, saying that i would be back to help her. I was then with the others. I realized that it had been a long time since i had been on trail. I was back at the camp, just to the south of the old wooden cabin. I remembered suddenly that $F43 was in the forest to the west. I was supposed to have helped her get out if she was not out already. I felt worried about her, and i thought i should go find her. I hoped that i could find the spot on the trail where the trail crossed the road. I would be driving on the road. I was in my car not, which was on the grassy slope to the south of the cabin. The others were still under the tent to the northeast of me. The land sloped steeply down to the west of me. I would have to be careful backing up my car. I did not want to back down the hill all the way, so i thought that i could turn my car around and head southwest to get to the road. I started backing up, turning to the north, but the car started slipping. The hill now sloped steeply toward the cabin as well, and i slided quickly toward the building. I hoped that i did not ruin my car when i hit the wall. To my surprise, my car crashed through the outside wall of the building and went partly into the structure. I felt upset. I was worried about $F43. I should have gone to get here before. I worried that she was still lost in the forest.

12015 December 18

To the north of me, thick metal poles stuck up from the water. They seemed to be pilings for a dock. They stood about three to three-and-a-half meters tall. I had moved along the northern side of them, but now i was to the south of them. I said something to the others, and then i turned to the south. Two people passed me and walked to the edge of the fountain. They were joking around, and they jumped up onto the low cement wall on the southern side of the water. They froze for a moment on the wall in a sexually explicit pose. They then started moving their hips back and forth toward each other, simulating humping. I thought that it was inappropriate that they were simulating copulation in the public area. They lost their balance and fell to the north, over the edge. I felt concerned for them, and i moved to the wall to look for them. They were on the short wall below. They had fallen on purpose. They now seemed to be muppets, and they moved with sudden jerky motions. They ended up with their hands and legs spread out into the air. The man on the east wore tan corduroy pants, and he stood on his right leg with his left in the air to the west of him. The other muppet seemed to be a green or blue furry monster. It stopped with its left hand on the ground and its feet in the air to the west. They froze for a moment, and then they had their legs crossing over each other’s. They pressed their crotches together and simulated scissoring. I thought that they were actually having sex. They rubbed into each other for a moment, and then fell to the south, over the side of the wall. I looked down to see them below. The man in tan pants stood up. He now seemed like $A669. The woman stood up and walked to the northeast, toward the sidewalk that i was now standing on. $A669 was on the sidewalk to the east of me, and he smiled at me as he walked to the west. He said something about the scene. The woman reached the sidewalk. I watched her as she headed up the slope toward the walkway, noticing the patch of white goo on the top of her head. She wore a black coat with lighter-colored vertical strokes on it. It looked very plain and hung vertically from her rounded frame. She seemed overweight, with a wide face. She looked like Auntie Mimi from Magical Mystery Tour. Her fuzzy black hair was parted in the middle and stuck out to the sides. The white gel was on her scalp in the middle of her part. She reached the sidewalk and headed to the west, smiling discretely. She seemed a little embarrassed with the stunt they had done. I looked at the white blob on her head, wondering if it was seaman and wondering whether i should tell her about it.

12015 December 19

I watched the dark scene to the west of me. Hermine Granger was standing to the west of me, looking down. The scene seemed very dark, and Hermine said something about the man who had died. I remembered his death from earlier in the story. She was illuminated by a faint light to the south. Someone near me asked about the man who was killed, and i told the person that he had been the character from before. My mother was suddenly very close to the south of me. she seemed angry, and her face was very close to my head. She said that the man did not die. I knew that he had died in the story, and that he was the one Hermine was talking about. I then looked at the screen again. It seemed to be showing the older part of the story. A red-headed man was standing just to the northwest of Hermine. He said something and then turned to walk to the west, down the center of the narrow corridor. The corridor was actually a narrow gorge, with uneven shale walls on both sides. Hermine stood, staring to the east. She had told the man not to go, knowing that something bad would happen. The man reached the intersection of the two gorges. A yellow flash came from the south, and i heard a static sound. I knew that the energy beam had hit the man. The scene then turned up a little, showing the man standing in the intersection. He turned back to the east, looking surprised and distressed. He had a boxy face and bright red hair. He now seemed attractive. I also noticed that he was not wearing a shirt and that he had a nice muscle build on his smooth chest. He tensed and fell backward. As he fell, i noticed that he had huge chest muscles, which bounced as he hit the ground. I knew he had died earlier, and i felt justified in telling the other person this.

I looked at the computer screen to the south of me. Something was wrong. The screen had been displaying strange scenes, and i knew that it should not be doing so. I tried to shut the computer down, but it was not responding properly. I restarted the computer. The screen went blank. I now seemed to be in the back room of my parents’ house, on the southern side of the room facing south. The computer was in front of the stairs. I walked to the north, into the room to do something. When i turned around, i noticed that the computer was starting up. I had to stop it so that i could figure out what was wrong. I started toward it, but someone was now to the east of me at the door. I turned to see the man standing in the entry doorway to the house. I said something to him. I felt distracted and annoyed. When i turned back to the computer, i saw that the screen had changed again. It was doing something that it should not be doing. Someone must have hacked into the computer. Frustrated, i restarted the computer. I would have to catch it at the right time to disable the invasion. The screen then came up again. I felt stressed. I could not get the computer to do what it should. I wondered why i had not been here when it was restarting. I then remembered that the man at the door was distracting me. I had to focus on the computer and not the man.

12015 December 20

I watched the man to the southeast of me as the train started moving. The man was near the front of the train car that i was in. He seemed to be a conductor or the person driving the train. The train rolled down the tracks, and i looked around at the flat landscape around us. A few old crumbling buildings were to the north of the tracks, and tall grass was growing on either side of the tracks. This place seemed like an old warehouse area. The train then turned a little to the southeast, passing through a gate in a tall chain-link fence. I looked ahead of us, noticing that we were driving into a large empty paved parking lot. The train was not actually following tracks. It must have been riding on wheels. I wondered if it could run on both tracks and flat ground. The train then started heading down the long asphalt path that ran to the north of the large low brick factory building. I watched the area ahead, noticing another narrow gate ahead. The land on the other side of the gate seemed to lead down hill. I started to feel nervous, thinking that the train would start rolling quickly down the hill. I watched as we passed through the gates, and i could see the long straight road ahead. We seemed to be in the third of fourth train car. The conductor was still a few cars ahead of us, standing up. The cars did not seem to have any walls or ceiling. I then noticed that the car we were in was not attached to the car ahead of us. Looking ahead, i could see that several of the cars had separated and were now rolling down the hill independent of each other. The car ahead of us drifted to the north, riding along the northern side of the track. I started to worry that the cars would not be easily controlled if they were not together. As we reached the end of the road, i could see that the track again passed through a narrow passage and then seemed to drop in elevation. The gate this time was more elaborate. It had vertical sides, but the top was arched and seemed to be very stylistic. It was light purple and looked like wavy swashes, with a swash on top that lifted up to the south. As we passed through the gate, i could see down the ramp to the east. The path looked like a slide, with three or four curved chutes. The decorative roof ran the length of the slide, and it was colored in various shades of purple and blue. This seemed more like a carnival ride, and i started to enjoy it. As i passed smoothly down the slide, i looked at the vertical poles and colorful trimming.

12015 December 24

I jogged with the others to the east, following them through the corridor of the building. We were following the race course, which we would be running tomorrow. It seemed that we were going slowly so that we could see where the course ran. The walls of the building were dark and seemed to be covered with glossy tile. I was excited about the run tomorrow, but i was a little unsure about doing the entire course today. We moved slowly down the hall, turning to the north and heading up the stairs, which ascended to the east along the northern side of the corridor. The stairs were set into the main northern wall of the corridor. I remembered that the race course went up to an upper floor of the building and ran a loop around the gymnasium, but, when we reached the second floor, i was surprised to see that the course now continued up the stairs. I felt that this was too much to do the day before a race. I knew that the course had a long loop for those running a farther distance. I did not really want to do this run today. $A670 was running ahead of me, and he turned to the north, starting up the second set of stairs, which ascended to the west along the northern wall. I followed him. When we reached the top, we turned to the south. I realized that the stairs did not go all the way up to the landing. They seemed to end in a short corridor just below the landing, but i knew that the race course went along the landing. It seemed that we were supposed to climb over the railing of the landing and pull ourselves up. I stopped under the green metal railing and reached up to grab it. $A670 was standing to the east of me, reaching up for the railing. I thought that it would get very tiring to pull ourselves up over the railing during the race. I then thought that it was actually unsafe to do so during a race. Someone was standing to the east of us, watching as we reached for the railings. I thought that it was a race official, and i told him that i thought the missing stairs seemed unsafe.

I turned back to the north and walked across the western side of the small living room. I seemed to be in $F4’s house. His brothers were to the north of me. I had been asleep in the house a little while ago, and the house had seemed empty. It felt good to be here, but i thought that i had to go somewhere. I did not really want to leave, but i thought that i should. As i reached the northern side of the room, several people came from the west, entering into the corridor to the north of me. The corridor ran east to west along the northern side of the room. The people seemed like $F4’s brothers and sisters. They were gathering to do something. I wondered if i should join them. I said something to one of them, thinking that i would have to get my things together.

12015 December 25

I was at the top of the long steep hill on the southern side of the region. Others were with me. The slope descended to the north of us. Several others were with me. It seemed that we had rided a gondola to this place. We now stood on the very narrow peak of the building. The square tower had a tall roof, and we were standing on the edges of the roof. I was on the eastern roof, leaning to the west. I felt a little uncomfortable on the roof, thinking that we might slip off. The others smiled as we all looked to the east, toward what seemed to be a camera. I thought that we would have to get back to the north. The others would be taking the gondola back. I moved to the south, crossing the eastern side of the small room. The room was empty now. The others had already moved to the south to catch the ride. I had to get a few things. I felt a little sad leaving this place. I then noticed $X14 on the ground to the north of me. He was lying on his side, watching me. I felt worried about him, thinking that he was sick. I had to take him back with us. I started to gather some of my things from the floor. The room seemed old and run down, and the walls were pale green. I picked up several of my things, and then thought that i should carry the cat with me. I wondered if i could wrap it in something so that it did not try to get away. I looked around for a blanket or towel. I did not have anything with me, but i thought that i could find a towel from the apartment. I moved around. The room did not seem to have any furnishings, but it had several piles of objects on the ground. A mount of reddish cloth, like blankets, was in the southeastern corner of the room. I looked around, realizing that i did not see $X14 any more. I called to him, wondering if he would respond to his name. I did not want to leave him here. I call again as i looked to the east, through a doorway that led into the next room. I then saw him to the southeast. The southern end of the eastern wall seemed to be a screen, and i saw him move behind it. He headed south and then jumped through a hole in the street. He trotted toward me, and i picked him up. I held him in my arms, looking around to find a towel. I thought that one must be in the room somewhere. I headed down the hallway to the east. It was a very short hall, ending on a longer hall that ran north to south. A woman passed down the long hallway just before i reached it. She headed north. I thought that she had just come from the bathroom. I turned to the north and looked into the bathroom, which was to the west of the hallway. I thought that i would be able to find a towel here, but i was not sure that i should take one. This seemed like the part of the building where the permanent residents lived. I wanted to take a towel from the side where the visitors had been staying. I headed back, still holding the small cat in my arms.

12015 December 26

I moved around the long narrow room. The room was long north to south. Other people were gathered in the room. I felt interested in some of the people here and wanted to chat with them. A man was to the south of me with a few other people. I started chatting with him. He was trying to figure something out on paper. I asked him about the problem, and he described some of it to me. I was surprised to hear that the problem seemed to be a physics problem. I felt happy that i might be able to help the man, so i moved to the south of the table to listen to the problem he was trying to solve. The man leaned forward over the western edge of the table to read the tablet. A woman with chin-length blond hair was leaning over the eastern end of the table, looking at the tablet that the man was trying to figure out. The man read part of the problem. He had smooth dark skin, and i thought that he was very attractive. I tried not to pay attention to him and listened to the problem. The man was reading something that seemed to be in Old English. The man was now sitting on the eastern side of the table as i moved toward the high round table. He read the first line as “Where for are you...”. I looked at the text on the top of the page. It was written in yellow letters against a darker background. I was surprised that it was in Old English, and i mentioned to the man that “where for” translated as “why”. The man said that he knew that. I focused on the letters, noticing that each word was on the top of a round button. The man pointed to the words as he read them. As he reached the center of the line, i noticed that the words actually formed dots and short lines on top of the round pegs. I wondered how these dots could be translated into words. I started wandering around the building. The room now seemed to be a cafe. The people were standing around the tables. I felt a little uneasy, hoping that the man did not think that i was overly interested in him. I wandered to the north, down the center of the room. The others were gathered around the tables. I turned to the east and crossed into the other room. The room to the east ran along the eastern side of the building. People were sitting in booths along the western wall. I knew that the man was sitting in one of the booths. I was interested in him, but i did not want him to feel uncomfortable, so i turned around and headed back to the west, into the central room.

12015 December 30

The others were still to the west as i started walking back down the street to the east. I was heading to $F45’s apartment. We had to get to the event that $F45 was having, and i was going to drive the others there, but i had to get something from the house. I felt uneasy being with $F45, but i turned to the north and headed down the short cement corridor. I remembered this place. It was a dormitory that i used to live in. $F45 was now renting a room on the eastern side of the corridor. I turned into the room. A set of cement steps led down into the apartment just inside the door. The apartment opened up to the north of the stairs and seemed to be a single large room. Others were doing something, so i stepped back out into the hall to look at the other rooms. The door to the east was open, so i looked in. This was the room that i had lived in when i was in college. A large bed seemed to fill the northern side of the room, and someone was lying on the couch, which was against the western wall. The person was covered with a comforter that was mostly yellow with thin brown shapes. I thought that he was sleeping. I headed back to the west, into $F45’s apartment. I stopped halfway down the stairs. I felt out of place here now. $F45 was in the room to the northwest of me, and i mentioned to him that i had lived in this building when i was in my freshman year of college. $F45 put a bag of something on the stairs just below me. He was going to take it with him. I asked him if he wanted help carrying it. $A671 was now near $F45, and they were talking and smiling at each other. I realized that we were supposed to be heading to their wedding. I felt uneasy having them be so close to each other. I asked $F45 something, but he ignored me. $A671 was standing to the north of him, and he turned to kiss $F45. I started to feel bad. I did not belong here, and i felt uncomfortable staying. I then thought that i should probably not be at the wedding. I would be out of place there. $F45 was wearing a fancy white dress shirt with a silver vest over it. $A671 was wearing a similar shirt with a gold vest. They were very well dressed, and they looked very good together. I had to leave, so i turned to the east and headed up the stairs. I decided that i should not go to the wedding. It would be too uncomfortable. I hurried out of the building and walked down the center of the street to the west. The others would be waiting at the car to the southwest, on the other side of the church on the next block. This seemed to be Paden Street. I felt very warm and uncomfortable, so i tried to take off my jacket. I was agitated, and could not easily get it off, so i tugged at it. A strong wind was blowing from the west, making me feel cooler. I wanted to get out of here quickly, and i did not think that i could walk fast enough, so i wanted to fly. I thought that i could just fly over the building to the southwest to get to the others. I then wondered what i would say to the others. I would no longer be driving them to the wedding. The wedding seemed to be someplace on the road to the southwest of where i was. I closed my eyes and concentrated on flying. I could feel the wind still blowing on my neck, but i wondered if i was actually flying. I wanted to open my eyes, but i did not. I wondered if i was actually off the ground. I relaxed a little, thinking that i would fall slightly. I then concentrated on flying again. I was not sure if i was in the air or if i was still standing on the ground. I held out my arms and concentrated on flying. I could feel something rushing out from the palms of my hands. It must be the force that was keeping me aloft. I relaxed and felt the pressure drop. I then forced the pressure out of my palms again, feeling my outstretched arms lift. This was how i would control the flight, if i was flying. I then turned and headed to the north, into the dormitory. I had just moved into an apartment in this building. My parents had just help me move all of my things into the room. It seemed strange that i would be in a college dormitory room again, but i was renting it as an apartment. It was on the eastern side of a short cement hallway. The apartment that i had lived in was to the north in the hallway, and $F45’s apartment was to the west. I walked into my small one-room apartment. Things still seemed cluttered from the move. An old white rounded refrigerator was against the southern end of the eastern wall, and a counter ran from the north of it along the wall. A television sat near the northern end of the counter. I was uneasy here, not sure what i should do. I felt that i should not have left my house and moved here. It seemed strange. I thought that the wedding must be happening at the moment, and i was still upset about it. I wanted to go to meet the people there, and i thought about $A448 and $A540. I nervously started putting some of the things in the room away. I then wondered why i was upset about the wedding. It did not seem logical. I then noticed the picture on the television to the northeast of me. I had been watching the news, but it was now showing scenes from the wedding reception. I could see two shirtless men dancing in the center of the screen. I could not see their heads or their waists. They were nicely built and sweaty from dancing. They swayed slowly back and forth on the screen. I thought that one was $F45 and the other was $A671. I felt uneasy watching them. I then wondered why they would be on the television. The local news must be covering the event. I looked at the people in the background. Many people seemed to be dressed in gold- and silver-colored clothing. Many of the men were shirtless. I did not want to watch the television and turned away. I started fussing with some of the things in the room, but i felt uncomfortable. I wanted to move out of this place. I then looked back at the screen to the east. A man was dancing shirtless in the middle of the screen. As he turned around, i realized that he was $A671. I wanted to see the detail on his chest, but he had moved behind someone and i could not see his body. I thought that he and $F45 were probably working out to look nice for the wedding. $A671 was then in the frame again. He was smiling widely and looking to the left of the screen. He was enjoying himself and easily expressing it. I wished that i could so easily enjoy myself. I wondered if that was why $F45 liked him. I watch $A671 dance with jerky motions to the music. I then noticed that $A672 was dancing to the left of him on the screen. She was wearing a white dress, and she moved with the same jerky motions to the music. They moved together for a moment, crouching down together at one point. The people then started moving around the room, passing in front of the camera. As the music ended, a woman leaned forward toward the camera, dipping her partner over just below the camera. She kissed the woman that she was dipping, and her long black hair hung over the woman’s face. The woman then looked up, and i realized that she was $A572. she backed away from the camera, leaving the other woman crouching down below the camera’s view. Her moves seemed artistic, and i thought that she had been posing for the camera. I then noticed the pictures of flowers on the wall on the left side of the screen. $A572 was standing near the wall, which had blue and white striped wallpaper. Behind $A572 was a screen door that led outside. I could see a tree through it. The reception was being held in someone’s house, and i thought that it was not really a grand affair. It was being done cheaply, but it seemed very nice. I thought that the house was in the rural area on the main road to the southwest of here. I felt bad and turned off the television. I paced around the room, wondering what to do. I was uptight, but i could not think of anything to calm myself. I wondered if i could get my parents to move my things out again. I would need them to bring a truck. I felt uneasy, thinking that i could not simply take all of my things and leave. I would have to abandon some things. I started to feel that i did not care about them. I just wanted to be out of here. I then looked to the east again. The television was back on. I wondered how it had turned back on. A man in silver suit was playing piano and singing. The man was facing right and the lid of the grand piano was on the right side of the screen. The lit was covered with glittery silver. The piano player must someone good, or $F45 would not have had him at the wedding. I could hear the music. The scene changed, and $F45 was now standing on a stage on the right side of the screen, which seemed to be the northern side of the room. The piano player was to the east of him. I thought that $F45 might be singing, but i noticed that he was actually undulating his torso. He was shirtless, and he sucked in his stomach a few times and rolled his chest forward and backward. He seemed rather detailed. He wore a pair of silver dress pants. I felt upset that i could not go to the wedding. I started pacing around the room again. I paced to the west. A section of the room ran to the west now, just to the north of the entry door, which was in the southern end of the western wall. I walked to the west, finding myself in a large room. A woman in a red business suit was to the north. She spoke on the telephone to someone, saying that she was from the housing office. I realized that this part of the building had been rented to one of the campus offices. A man in a yellow suit stood to the east of her. They both looked up at me as i stopped in the middle of the room. I said something in greeting to them. I realized that the dormitory room must have been much larger in the past, but it had been divided up into smaller rooms now. My apartment was one of the rooms, and the woman was renting the other part of the room for her office. The college must have taken advantage of the double entry doors to the room and put up a dividing wall between them. I glanced to the west, noticing a large sitting room on the northwestern corner of the building. The room was rounded, with darkly stained wooden beams running vertically up the white plaster walls. The tall peaked ceiling was conical, with exposed polished beams. It looked very nice. This must have been a special room when it was used as a whole dormitory room. I turned back to the east and started back to my room, feeling disappointed. The woman was near me now. She had short brown hair and asked me questions. I told her that i had been renting here. I then mentioned that i had stayed in a room in this building during my freshman year of college. She seemed surprised and confused. She stated slowly her realization that i went to college here. She referred to me as family, which meant that she was also a graduate of this university. She seemed surprised that i had gone to Cornell, and i realized that she expected more of a Cornell graduate than someone who rented a dorm room. I thought that she considered it beneath someone who was college educated. I felt upset and disappointed in myself. I had given up a house to be here, and i no longer wanted to be in this place. I wondered what i should do, feeling desperate and depressed.

I walked into the small cement apartment. I had just moved into this place. I wondered why i had moved in here. It seemed strange. $F45 was living in the apartment across the hall from me, to the west. I felt very uneasy here, not sure why i left my house to come here. Something seemed like a good idea, but i felt very disappointed in myself at the moment. I paced around the apartment for a moment. It was early in the morning, and it seemed to be the day after $F45’s wedding. I was still upset about the wedding. I paced around the room, not sure what to do. I then heard sounds coming from the west. It sounded as though a television was playing. I looked at the windows to the west of me. I knew that $F45’s apartment was to the west. I moved to the widow, which had wide white blinds over them. I leaned forward and pulled down one of the blades of the blinds. I could see into the next apartment. A television was running and was on the western wall of the room. $F45 was sitting in a chair on the northern side of the room, watching the screen. It was early in the morning, and he was still getting ready for work. I watched him for a moment, noticing that his hair seemed very red. I still had feelings for him. I backed away from the window, wondering if this was true. I looked out the window again, watching him get up and moved to the south, toward the kitchen. I then started moving around in my apartment. I could not believe that what i felt was real. I tried to analyze my feelings for $F45. They did not seem to be affection, but i did feel that i wanted to be with him. I then heard something behind me. I turned to the east. $F45 had come into my apartment to drop something off. I said hello to him, feeling uneasy. He said something to me and then turned to leave. He headed to the south, leaving the building to head for work. I stepped out into the hall and watched him walk away for a moment. I then turned around and headed back into the apartment. I stopped just inside the door. I looked to the west, noticing a bed on the southern wall with dark-orange covers. This did not look right. A plastic bag of something was on the floor at the foot of the bed. I realized that this was not my apartment. I must have walked into $F45’s apartment. I turned around and headed across the hallway mine. I wondered what i should do. It still seemed early in the morning. I then noticed the large clock near the southern wall to the east of me. The large red digital letters said that it was 10:07. I was surprised it was so late in the morning. I was already very late for work. I had to hurry. I felt rushed as i moved farther into the apartment. I turned to the north, thinking that i should call work and let them know i would be in as soon as i could. I was anxious, and i was not paying attention. I came tot he northern end of the room, which now opened up into a large room to the east. This place seemed like a store. I started heading to the east. I had to get my phone. A man stood behind a pale-green service counter along the southern wall of the large room. Shelfs ran east to west in the room. They were darkly stained wooden shelfs and seemed to be covered with books. I reached the middle of the store and realized that i had forgotten something to the west. I decided to turn around and head back for it. I started walking quickly to the west, pumping my arms up and down. After a few paces, i stopped, realizing that i could not remember what i was after. I thought that i should just get the thing that i was trying to get on the eastern side of the room and then head back. I turned back around and headed to the east, flattening my hands and pumping my arms harder. A man in the center of the store watched me curiously as i passed to the south of him. I thought that what i was doing must look strange. I was now moving on something like a wheelchair. Swinging my lower arms stiffly up and down made the chair move forward. The chair speeded along the southern side of the room. I leaned to the left a little, getting the chair to turn in an arch to the northeast. I passed to the south and east of a square recession in the center of the floor. The recessed area was surrounded by low wood boards, which were stained and polished and rose about a deci and a half above the surrounding wood floor. This building seemed old, with high ceilings and dark wood shelfs on the northern wall. It was like a library, but it was still like a store. I started walking along the northern wall to the west. I had forgotten why i had come here. I was going to pick up something, but i could not remember what. A small area was set into the northern wall. The western wall of this area extended farther to the south than the eastern wall, meeting the northern wall on the western side of the room. I walked across the small area, looking at the book shelfs to the north. I felt that i wanted a book, but i was not sure which one. The books on the shelfs were old, but they looked nicely bound. I thought that i was looking for a religious book. I thought that it was called a name that started with an S. I tried to remember what the word was. It had something to do with a belief, but i could not remember what. I thought about similar words: “Sufism”, “synagogue”. I could not quite remember what i was looking for. I looked at a stack of brown books. I then noticed a stack of white books in the center of the shelfs. The white leather cover was faded, and a cross with a red backing was on the bottom of the spine. It seemed to be Orthodox Christian. It was not what i was looking for, but the book seemed nice. I looked closely at some of the books, noticing some old bibles. I liked the way the old books. Something about the store made me feel welcome and comfortable. I was then aware of a few people behind me. They were doing something. One of them reached toward the shelf to the south of me, grabbing something. The other person then tried to grab a book, but fumbled it. He caught it, but wrapped his arms around my torso and hugged me from behind. I looked at his hands. His skin was medium skinned and seemed to be from an Indian man. He was thin, and his grip was loose. I caught the book that he had dropped and gave it to him. It felt nice to be hugged by him.

I jogged to the north with the others. We moved down the sidewalk in the middle of the city area. I was talking to the person to the west of me as we walked to the north, toward the main road. A small group of people were stopped on the sidewalk on the southern side of the street, waiting to cross. They were part of our group, and they seemed to be $G4. They were joking around and started singing as we approached. Just before we reached them, they ran across the street. As we reached the street, more cars started coming, so we could not cross. I was amused by their antics, but i noticed several other pedestrians watching us from the east. A woman in a winter jacket and long frizzy hair stood by the street, looking at us. She smiled as if amused as well, but i felt uneasy having $G4 do things in public. I thought that people would not understand what we were joking about and would worry that we were dangerous. I looked to the north, hearing some people singing in the parking garage across the street. We started across the street, but headed to the east. We still seemed to be on the southern side of the street as we moved east. I then recognized the lyrics that the other people were singing. They were not $G4. The song used the same melody as a song that we sang, but their lyrics were different. They sang “gonna cross the street” as a joke song. I stopped and looked back to the entrance to the parking garage. I thought that they must be college students coming down the stairs. I saw the narrow brick tower on the side of the parking garage, which was the stairwell. Several young men in nice clothing passed the windows, singing about crossing the street. I felt amused by them, watching them emerge from the bottom floor of the tower and cross the street to the south.