ZUDEMA

11993 Spring

The courtyard around me was very wide, with little detail. It was surrounded be rows of thin square white columns. On top of the columns was a wide flat roof, which covered the walkways around the edges of the courtyard. I could see tall stone towers just beyond the pillars. This was all part of the university. I was in the middle of the city. I could see one of the main buildings of the university to the west. It seemed very plain in contrast to the rest of the city, but it looked very old. It also seemed abandoned, like the rest of the city. I should be able to see the domes of the cathedral from here. To the northeast of me, there was a large round building. It almost looked like the capitol in Washington, DC. The building was one of the main lecture halls of the university. It was strange to be here. I wanted to know why all of the buildings had been abandoned. I then remembered that this was the city from my dreams. It was a place that only i really knew about. It should be called “The Dreaming City”.

We were deer, standing in the middle of the grassy field. The sky was dark, and a cool wind was blowing through the grass. The ground seemed sandy under the grass. The hill in front of us could have been a dune which had been covered on the top with grass. Its sides had slid away, exposing the bright tan soil. The grass around us was rich green. The good grass was on the other side of the fence from us, though. The land was protected, and we were not supposed to be eating from the good grass. $Z, who was also a deer, jumped over the fence and onto the special land. I spotted the guard dogs on the other side of the fence. It growled an me to keep me away from the god grass. I snarled at the dogs. I knew that they could not hurt me from inside the fence. Then i noticed that one of the dogs was outside the fence, near me. I wondered how it had gotten out of the fence. I knew that i could not run away because it would chase after me. It could easily catch me. I started to prance around like a dog. I knew that it would distract the dog, making it think that i was really a dog too. The dog wagged its tail as it watched me. It seemed happy, but i knew that in was still untrusting of me. I slowly pranced away, catching up with my friends. The dog followed me. I then realized that the dog was a deer. It challenged one of my friends, who was also a deer. They both reared up and charged each other. They crashed into each other, locking their antlers. After a few minutes, the new deer won the fight, and my friend, who had been the leader of the herd, was forced to give up control. A new order had been established by the fight. I looked around. I realized that we were now on the top of the grassy hill, on the other side of the fence. We had made it to the area of good grass.

My father was playing the guitar to the company at the party. The company was in the small yellow room, which was in my parents’ house. After my father finished a song, he asked me if i wanted to play one. I was unsure about playing for the people, but i wanted to perform. My father handed me a song book. The front cover was white, with the name of the book in plain type. The title started with the word “the” and had two words in it. I took the book and walked out of the house. I had to practice. There was a stone wall running from the house. I looked for a comfortable spot on it. As i walked along, though, i looked at the spacing of the rocks on the top of the wall. They seemed to be laid in regular intervals. As i walked, i considered the spacing of the rocks. It was related to the fret board on the guitar. There was some significance here. Then i looked at he sheds behind the house as i walked past them. They were full of extra things which could not fit in the closets of the house. I hoped that my parents did not throw them out. I then wondered whether my parents thought that i was going to sleep with the girl. I looked around at the things in the crowded sheds. I wondered what they were going to do with all of this stuff. Finally, i climbed into a bunk bed in the back of the shed. I laid down and looked at the wooden ceiling. There were cobwebs on the ceiling above the bed. This place did not seem comfortable. My mother walked past, and i sat up in the bed. I was in the field again, in the back yard of my parents’ house. I tried to climb up the hill, but it was too steep. I had tried climbing earlier, but was unable to. The hill was sandy, and very steep. There was some grass growing on the top of the hill, and there were several old wooden planks half buried in the sand. $Z was behind me, trying to climb up the hill as well. He tried to help me climb by pushing me from behind. I grabbed onto a section of grass on the side of the hill and tried to pull myself up. The grass pulled out of the ground, however. I grabbed onto several other sections of grass, but they came out as well. I realized that someone else had tried to climb the slope before me. I had to get to the top of the hill. I then noticed the hornets nest which was in the sand, off to my right. I had to be careful not to step on the nest and disturb the hornets. I was afraid that they would sting me, but i looked closer at them. They were flying around in the glass bottle on the mantle. We backed out of the room to get away from them. I thought that we might have already disturbed them. The room was very plain, and it reminded me of a painting i had once seen. I wondered how they had gotten into the house. The hornets then flew to the window, which was to the right of the fireplace. I watched several of them crawl through the small holes underneath the shut window. Now that the hornets had left, i turned back to the pile of dirt. I tried to climb it again. It was easy once i found the board which was the key. I pulled on the board and the sand was gone. The hill was solid dirt, and it became very easy to climb. I then noticed that $Z was gone as well. I flew around the large room and down the long corridor to the north. The corridor was made out of wood. This house was very beautiful. I flew back into the large room, which was a recreation room. There was a pool table on the west side of the room. I thought about putting mats in the room for wrestling. I flew to the top of the wooden bleachers, which were against the north wall of the room, and landed on top. My mother walked through the room, but i remained still so that she would not notice me. I was sneaking around. After she had passed, i crept into the dining room to the east. I hid behind the table as i moved, looking at the cook in the kitchen to the north. I wanted to hide from her. I was then on the other side of the counter from the cook. I made it past her and grabbed the bottle from the counter while she was not looking. The other woman saw me, however, and followed me as i ran back into the gym. I flew around the corner and back to the top of the bleachers. I could hide here above her sight. I then started playing with the ropes which were hanging from the ceiling. They were climbing ropes. This was a stupid thing to do because the woman could spot the motion. She knew where i was hiding. The woman said that the bottle of pills were very important. I did not respond. She then said that they were for the heart condition.

I quickly dug through my things. I had to get to class. I had me textbooks, but i could not find the papers that i had written. I had to find them, but they did not seem to be here. I then realized that i had already missed my class. I felt very bad. I had to study for the tests, but i could not find my things. $F4 was with we as a frantically searched. $F11 then said that it was not too late to finish studying. He said “It’s never too late to study and catch up.” I still felt bad, as though i had failed. It was hopeless. $F12 said i should try. Then i thought that he said that i was not trying enough. I felt confused. I remembered this from before. I thought that i might have seen it in a dream i had. I then remembered that there were monsters in the dream. It was not the same as what i was now doing. There were dinosaurs in the dream. I remembered that they were trying to bite me. They had wide mouths, with many sharp white teeth. They were hungry for something. I knew that they were just symbols, though, and that they were always hungry. It was their purpose. I did not know what to do here. I felt like i had failed. I thought that i should simply give up.